10 Reasons to Hate Nebraska

10. The Fan Perspective

From all accounts, Nebraska has some of the nicest fans in the country. And that's a tough one to swallow.

Nebraska fans have been described in some instances as treating opposing fans as "guests" rather than as the sworn enemy.

Hate Nebraska because this isn't what the Buckeye fans need at the moment. We need the Huskers to be gassin' beers and chuckin' knucks Saturday in Lincoln. Ohio State needs to be getting their verbal barb response rate to another level for Penn State in a couple weeks and Michigan soon thereafter.

Headed for the bye week after dealing with some Nebraskan softies is going to be tough for the Buckeye fan talk game.

9. The Nebraska Bugeaters

To be surprised that Nebraska's athletic teams were once called the Nebraska Bugeaters is to be surprised that they didn't find something better to call themselves than "Cornhuskers."

Before the turn of the 20th century, those pesky Nebraska Bugeaters were some of the earliest collegiate football players.

Running into each other without any pads on and eating bugs galloping through the fields after harvest — not much has changed in Lincoln near the turn of the 2020s. Now they just call each other Huskers.

8. Gerry Thomas

Nebraska graduate Gerry Thomas is credited with making the TV dinner what it is today — a landmine of processed fats and disgusting amounts of sodium and liquid death.

Thomas is credited with designing the three-paneled tray we see nowadays, typically a protein and carb together, a vegetable and that pesky little dessert tray that might be a brownie but also might be horse laxatives after it's done cooking.

Hate the Huskers for being responsible for the reprehensible false advertising that TV dinner companies like Devour are pumping out today.

Their slogan is "Food you want to fork." Okay then.

Nebraska, this is on you.

7. another b1g road night game

I touched on this at the beginning of the season, but playing unranked road teams in the Big Ten at night is the most fundamentally stupid thing happening at the moment in the Big Ten.

Saturday night at Nebraska will mark Ohio State's third night road game of the year with another possibly coming in a couple weeks at Iowa. Both times Ohio State will be facing an unranked team.

Here's your subtle reminder that this concept is stupid and so is Nebraska:

"I THINK NIGHT GAMES HAVE HELPED THE BIG TEN. OBVIOUSLY, COACHES AREN'T INVOLVED IN TELEVISION CONTRACTS, BUT THERE SHOULD BE A MAXIMUM OF TWO ON THE ROAD IN MY OPINION."– Urban Meyer

6. ndamukong Suh

Plenty of things can be said about Ndamukong Suh. Not a lot of them are what you'd call positive.

His relation to Ohio State is minimal considering his senior year at Nebraska was the last year prior to the school's move to the Big Ten. But nonetheless, Suh has plenty of reason to be on this list.

And it's sad, because Suh was a force with the Huskers but man, this guy.

5. Lil' Red

There is nothing more hilariously hateful about the Nebraska athletic program than when they roll out Lil' Red to do his thing.

The schoolboy mascot that has been since 1993, and is famous for dancing, particularly bouncing on the top of his had, at Nebraska athletic events.

Lil' Red is like the symbolistic version of the current state of the Nebraska fanbase. He's on the sidelines during games and bounces on his head at stopping points crushing his own skull in — something Husker fans really wish they could do nowadays. 

4. Runzas

I'll be honest, I had no idea what a runza was until last weekend. I could have gone 22 more years without knowing. But if you don't know now, just know you should hate Nebraska for inventing it.

Historically filled with an assortment of beef, cabbage and other various vegetables, the roll is like a sub but they make the sandwich (?) within the dough and then bake it.

I'd suggest encasing the runza in some quick-crete and cutting my losses, instead enjoying a better meal like a hearty roast beef from Arby's. Or even a Heath Bar Blizzard. Just not this heap. 

This Nebraskan delicacy is like the Great Plains version of a kangaroo's pouch. The mama kangaroo and a runza both have a bun in the oven and are filled with something that's better off if it doesn't come out.

3. Taylor Martinez

Remember when Urban wasn't going 66-7 over his tenure in Columbus and Ohio State had that whole season with Luke Fickell as the interim coach after Jim Tressel got fired? Yeah, I'd like to say I don't remember it either but we all do.

One of the most gut-wrenching moments of that season was the collapse at Nebraska after being up 27-6. At the head of that loss was former Husker shot-putting quarterback Taylor Martinez. 

The Buckeyes getting their teeth kicked in and losing a three touchdown lead was made even worse by the guy with the absolute worst throwing mechanics in football ever doing it, and doing it well. Martinez was 16-22 for 191 yards and two touchdowns, rushing for an additional 102 yards and a score on the ground.

2. they fired Bo Pelini and his cat

Now, I'm not a Bo Pelini apologist, though he is a native son and a silver bullet. But man, did "Bocci Ball Bo" get a raw deal in Lincoln. And I'm not talking about the $7.65 mil Pelini is getting paid to not coach Nebraska, I'm talking about the guy now-fired athletic director Shawn Eichorst hired to replace him.

Sure, the Huskers had at least three losses in each of Pelini's seven years as the head Husker. In the two and some years with Mike Riley at the helm, Riley has had loss totals of 7, 4 and already three through the first six games including losses at home to Northern Illinois and on the road at Oregon.

But they just had to get rid of Bo Pelini and his cat. 

Bo Pelini and cat... pic.twitter.com/zVSIJdD7tm

— C_Football_Newswire (@CFBW) June 5, 2016

Listen, any college football coach that carries out a live animal out of the tunnel prior to running onto the field is a wild man and I would traipse to the core of the Earth for Bo Pelini if it was possible.

Here's to Bo pitching a shutout as the new defensive coordinator next fall when Nebraska comes to Columbus on Nov. 3.

1. Mike Riley

Worse off yet than the fact that the Huskers fired Bo Pelini is the ding-dong they hired to replace him. Hate Nebraska for making their fans deal with this incompetence.

After two stints at Oregon State and in the middle of his third season at Nebraska, Riley is 111-94 overall as a head coach. That's a .541 clip.

Sure Bo Pelini wasn't the nicest guy in the world, but Mike Riley is a softie and isn't doing the team any good.

Yeah he can give the team tickets to a Kendrick Lamar concert to distract them from their impending doom, but can he lead the team back to a .500 record?

Better yet, can he have faith in the Nebraska faithful for giving his team any kind of edge that he won't provide?

His answer:

"I don't know about that," Mike Riley said when asked if home field advantage will play into the outcome against Ohio State.

— James Grega Jr. (@JGrega11) October 10, 2017 

I wouldn't husk a single ear of corn for Mike Riley.