The Big Moist

Winning the Big Ten? Of course. Beating Michigan, Penn State and Sparty? Yup. J.K. Dobbins? Well, yeah. All appreciated, if not already taken for granted. Those are easy. 

Last week we covered what we complained about the most during the 2017 regular season. Nobody likes a whiner, so this requires an antidote. We have already administered part of this booster through the best moments, photos and top plays - things that make you say oh yeah. Today we'll cover the best things that should make you say ohhhh right.

These are slightly obscure; you might have missed them. Let's scratch beneath the surface and appreciate what felt good in 2017.

10. GOOD KNIGHTS

Me, an idiot defending the SEC's annual Chickenshit Saturday: "Scheduling rec league teams in November - the week before rivalry finales - is exactly the same as Ohio State scheduling Army in September."

You, drowning in facts: "Army went 9-3 and damn near won the two non-Ohio State games it lost. It also had a higher S&P+ ranking than five SEC teams. But sure, playing Army is just like playing Mercer."

Beating the Black Knights 38-7 in hindsight was among the Buckeyes' most impressive wins of the season - and it happened the week after the Oklahoma debacle. It was the first sign that playing Ohio State the week after a loss was a terrible idea.

9. PUMPKIN CARVING

Back in October 2016 the Buckeyes visted State College as 20-point favorites. They inexplicably handed Curtis Samuel the ball only twice, had a punt blocked, couldn't get out of their own way for most of the evening - and then had a field goal blocked that turned what should have been a late seven-point lead into a shocking three-point loss.

The win transformed Penn State's program overnight. The Lions had just been pounded 49-10 by Michigan and escaped a bad Minnesota team in overtime. After beating the Buckeyes, Penn State didn't lose another Big Ten game and averaged 45 points through the Big Ten championship game.

Their momentum carried into 2017. The Lions' defense caught up with their offense and they hadn't allowed more than 19 in a game heading into the Oct 28 rematch. When they arrived in Columbus they did so as the undefeated No.2 team in the country - just one year removed from being a 20-point home underdog.

Of course you know the Buckeyes put up 39 and won in one of the most impressive and improbable comebacks you'll ever see. But lost in that victory was the Buckeyes putting an end to the Cinderella run that they helped usher into America's consciousness.

Ohio State started Penn State's run. It also ended it.

8. JOHNNIE DANGEROUSLY

Four years ago Ohio State signed a wide receiver class that included Parris Campbell, Terry McLaurin, Noah Brown and Johnnie Dixon. Dixon was the highest-ranked recruit in the lot; a top-100 player nationally according to any service.

His knees have not stopped trying to derail his college football career. Entering 2017 he had just 12 catches for 80 yards. This had to be Dixon's breakout season, and 12 games later he was Zone Six's leader in touchdowns (only Mike Weber had more). He was also far and away the unit's big play target:

Like the rest of his unit, route-running and consistent catching still need work. But Johnnie did the most with the least, and he finally got the better of his knees.

7. THE BIG MOIST

Odd-numbered seasons feature Senior Days against not-Michigan, which are always strange. It's a goodbye, but...the biggest game of the season is still next week, somewhere else. There are carcasses littered throughout Ohio State's history on these odd-numbered Senior Days. It's only natural to peek ahead to Ann Arbor when you're saying farewell.

Two years ago Michigan State broke into a streak sour finales that had been strung together by none other than Illinois, which won Ohio State's Senior Day in 2007, 2001 and 1999. No other team had managed to do that since Iowa got Earle Bruce fired in 1987. The Buckeyes obliterated the Illini. There would be no new streak.

There was another streak that did continue, however - those odd-numbered Senior Days have been full of precipitation since 2013 when snow dumped all over the Indiana game, and again in 2015 when the worst weather of the season visited along with the Spartans. This is not insignificant. Lousy weather has done lousier things to Ohio State's offensive courage.

The Buckeyes made easy work of the Illini as Tyquan, Billy and J.T. all played their final home games, while looming and then heavy rain made easy work of High Street foot traffic. The weather was terrible and yet Ohio State didn't crawl into its customary playcalling shell!

6. (DON'T GO BACK TO) KNOXVILLE

This man is wearing 19-year old t-shirt in public. © Knoxville News Sentinel-USA TODAY NETWORK

A mosquito floating down a river on its back with an erection screaming for someone to raise the drawbridge is equal parts delusion, arrogance and conceit. Tennessee's coaching search last month was that mosquito.

The Buckeyes are unexpectedly keeping Greg Schiano around a little while longer, thanks to a fan base orbiting several galaxies from reality, riled up by a notorious shitlord who manufacturers terrible gambling advice. When Schiano was leading Rutgers (Rutgers!) to an 11-2 season, the guy Tennessee hired instead of him was the defensive coordinator for Hoover High School.

Yes, Schiano is older than Jeremy Pruitt. By eight whole years. Eight years ago Schiano was leading Rutgers (Rutgers!) to another nine-win season.

The derailment stinks for his bank account, but a heartfelt thank you is owed to Tennessee. He's better than Pruitt and every coach Pruitt will hire to lead Tennessee to possible bowl eligibility, and Ohio State will have him running its defense a little while longer.

5. COMMON DOMINATOR

What do Indiana, UNLV, Rutgers, Nebraska, Michigan State, Illinois and Wisconsin all have in common? Correct, they were all in Ohio State's way this season. Right, they all took Ls too.

And yes, each of those teams allowed the more points against the Buckeyes than they did against any other opponent. Army, Maryland, Penn State and Michigan allowed more points to one other team, barely. That means every single one of Ohio State's 2017 victories produced a point total that was either the worst or second-worst outing of that opponent's season.

Eleven opponents out of 13. (We won't discuss the two teams that didn't make the list)

4. WE HAVE A PULSE

© Joe Maiorana-USA TODAY Sports

Billy Price won the Rimington after taking over hiking obligations from Pat Elflein, who also won it. The Buckeyes had the nation's best center in back-to-back seasons. You knew this.

But Ohio State's best teams are the ones where the offensive line is the heartbeat of the roster. The 2017 season saw this dynamic return for the first time since OL Whisperer Ed Warinner Peter Principled his way into the playcalling responsibilities. Elflein is a legend, but the line developing around Price this season was what propelled the Buckeye offense in virtually every category over 2016.

The Slobs didn't just have a couple of stars working for them, they were ruthlessly good as a unit this season. That loving feeling is back, and hopefully it's going to stay for awhile.

3. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Ohio State beat Michigan again. Fifteenth time in 17 tries. You knew this. For those of us old enough to remember the prior century, it still doesn't feel real.

© Rick Osentoski-USA TODAY Sports

We've drifted so far from Michigan winning things of consequence that we've breached the anniversary horizon where Ohio State now also has the wreck remembrances in addition to current Saturdays.

In 2017 Ohio State spoiled the 20-year anniversary of the afternoon they handed Charles Woodson the Heisman Trophy and Andre Weathers the game-winning touchdown. Twenty-five seasons ago John Cooper went for the tie, got it and Gordon Gee declared it one of the greatest wins ever. Forty years ago Woody's last powerhouse lost 14-6 in Ann Arbor.

Seventy years ago Michigan blanked the Buckeyes en route to a national title, and it's been 115 seasons since Michigan won 86-0, birthing Carmen Ohio out of that sadness.

But it's different now. Fifteen out of 17. Happy anniversaries!

2. END OF THE BECKONING

The two worst offensive seasons under Meyer took place in 2015 (possibly the most talented roster in program history) and 2016, when everything from footwork to cadence to strategy was all off. Everything on that side of the ball was holistically worse in 2015-16 than it had been in 2012-14.

Ohio State's plane was barely off the Phoenix tarmac after getting blanked by Clemson when Meyer's DignifiedExit™ strategy was deployed, sending Tim Beck and Warinner elsewhere. They were replaced by Ryan Day and Kevin Wilson. Those aforementioned statistics, in a two-year relative lull, decidedly broke out of their funk in 2017.

We'll get at least one more season - hopefully more - of the two of them coaching up quarterbacks and giving opposing defenses their worst or second-worst outings of the season. Add Greg Studwara's progress with the Slobs and Brian Hartline in Zone Six's room and there are plenty of reasons to be bullish about the offense that in 2017 rediscovered its flow.

1. ENTITLEMENT REFORM

© Winslow Townson-USA TODAY Sports

J.T. Barrett went 4-0 against Michigan. It's a mark that can only be tied.

You'll protest he was spelled in two of those games, only because you like to argue. He's the only three-time B1G QB of the Year, but how hard could doing that possibly be if J.T. Barrett was able to do it.

He's Ohio State's all-time winningest starting quarterback, its leader in passing yards, total yards, total offense total touchdowns and yet...strife. Arguing. Unrest. Bickering. His stats don't weigh as much as the eyeball test, or something.

Here are all of the Buckeyes' quarterbacks who started for longer than a cup of coffee from 1968 through JTBIV:

We're done debating if Barrett is great or terrible - look at the last 50 years of Ohio State quarterbacking and then consider that Barrett's existence nearly tore apart the fan base. These are his most primitive statistics in the context of five decades of Buckeye football.

Look at it. This is what we complained about.

Imagine what it must be like to have to root for any other program, where they erect statues for less than what he did.