All of our fun 2014 parallels collapsed once Virginia Tech sprouted a bookend.
Blah, that's not how we drew it up after the Oregon game. The Buckeyes annihilated junior Michigan in the home finale and then moseyed up to dispose of senior Michigan per the usual arrangement and well, add that to the list of normalcies the pandemic ruined for society.
They were on a fast track back to Indy to trounce another hapless B1G West opponent until the Wolverines ambushed them with a devious, sneaky and clever just show up strategy. It would have been Ohio State's third straight CFP and fifth overall. The rest of the conference has two.
Alas, we are stuck with the Rose Bowl instead. READER WARNING the rest of this column is going to be Hey If You Can't Find Joy in Pasadena You're a Pathetic and Joyless Worm Who Only Uses the Success of Large Teenagers to Validate Your Otherwise Pitiful Existence. That could be a country song title. You're a country song title.
"Ranked 6th and heading to Pasadena" is the perfect disappointment to punctuate the most successful 25-Year stretch in Ohio State history.
So bail out now if that sounds hurtful. There's nothing of value for you below.
Everyone else/handsome readers, welcome back. It's frustrating, but Ohio State keeps finding itself in Pasadena at the wrong times - Rose Bowl is stuck in the restroom while the good song is playing at the dance. The silver lining is its precious time slot, New Year's Day at 5pm ET, which Jim Delany used to call the best television real estate of the year.
This is a consolation prize season for the best bowl game in college football history. And so is next season, when it will be played on Jan 2 (boo) as a non-playoff game. That's like a double consolation prize.
It hurts in multiple ways, but the Buckeyes were never going to claim every conference title forever. Ceding their crown to the least palatable option wasn't written into the will, either; this stings like the end of My Girl. Michigan was no threat to take the division as recently as October.
This feels bad because it was bad. All justified - and temporary.
If you look at this turn of events objectively from outside of the B1G footprint, our personal disaster is what makes college football so great. Everyone beyond our corn perimeter hates Ohio State for reasons that are charted below. That's the national perspective - no one likes a bully.
But inside our footprint and among our conference members, we all hate Michigan the most, always and forever, for the simple reason that we know them too well. All is not lost.
This was just one unfortunately unhappy ending. For perspective, here's what we've been up to for the past quarter-century.
| SEASON | THE GAME | B1G FINISH | FINAL RANK |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1996 | L | 1st | 2nd |
| 1997 | L | 2nd | 12th |
| 1998 | W | 1st | 2nd |
| 1999 | L | 8th | UR |
| 2000 | L | 4th | UR |
| 2001 | W | 3rd | UR |
| 2002 | W | 1st | 1st |
| 2003 | L | 2nd | 4th |
| 2004 | W | 5th | 20th |
| 2005 | W | T-1st | 4th |
| 2006 | W | 1st | 2nd |
| 2007 | W | T-1st | 5th |
| 2008 | W | T-1st | 9th |
| 2009 | W | 1st | 5th |
| 2010 | W | T-1st | 5th |
| 2011 | L | 4th Leaders | UR |
| 2012 | W | 1st Leaders/DQ | 3rd |
| 2013 | W | 1st Leaders/2nd | 12th |
| 2014 | W | 1st East/1st | 1st |
| 2015 | W | 2nd East | 4th |
| 2016 | W | 2nd East | 6th |
| 2017 | W | 1st East/1st | 5th |
| 2018 | W | 1st East/1st | 3rd |
| 2019 | W | 1st East/1st | 3rd |
| 2020 | N/A | 1st East/1st | 2nd |
| 2021 | L | 2nd East | 6th* |
That's an eye chart, so let's break it down into digestible chunks:
- Five coaches without so much as a recession. That's generally impossible.
- 17-7 vs. Michigan. You can count the programs with 17 Michigan wins in their history on one hand.
- 10 conference titles and five other first-place finishes.
- 18/25 seasons in the final Top 10 with one more in the cards on Jan 1.
- 16/25 seasons in the final Top 5 with one more possible on Jan 1.
And yet, only three Rose Bowls tucked in there, due to the changing postseason landscape that began with the Bowl Alliance. Every other era of college football would have produced no fewer than eight Pasadena trips (if that seems light, google no-repeat rule). The only empire ceding its power operates on Pacific Time.
Ranked 6th and heading to Pasadena is the perfect disappointment to punctuate the most successful quarter century in program history. A New Year's Day win will give the Buckeyes 17 Top 10 finishes this century. Since perspective is clarifying: Alabama will only have 15.
Michigan will have five, matching Wisconsin. No, finishing in the top 10 isn't Ohio State's goal.
It's just easy to be elated or deflated in a fleeting moment. What we know about the Buckeyes during the lifetimes of 42% of the earth's current population is that Ohio State football is quite good, has always been good and will continue to be good.
We know that last part to be fact. Because when the Buckeyes aren't as good as they aspire to be, they don't waste any time correcting it before roaring back the following season. That's why examining a 25-season dataset isn't just coping. It's preparation.
You cheer for the sport's only recession-proof program. Rock-bottom hits differently here.
