THE SITUATIONAL: Appetite for Destruction

Earle Bruce was in his final season but didn't know it yet. The Buckeyes got through their extremely fun non-conference (West Virginia, Oregon, @LSU) without a loss. But that 1987 season was one like no other. Yeah, just pretend 2020 doesn't count.

In 1987 neither Ohio State or Michigan figured into Big Ten supremacy - a Cold War rarity! The Buckeyes fired their coach but allowed him to keep coaching, which, okay. And third, the league's two best teams were Michigan State and...Indiana. A season unlike any other!

IU came into the Horseshoe and kicked the home team's ass, but by the time everyone figured out the Hoosiers were actually decent and losing to them wasn't quite as dark as Earle had said it was, the sting from the Darkest Day was lost beneath a pile of other losses.

The Darkest Day wasn't a season-defining calamity like Florida or Clemson in Glendale, or just about every Michigan game in the 1990s. It was a lousy Saturday that quickly became overwhelmed by a cavalcade of other lousy things.

No B1G champ has ever taken down both Michigan teams, Penn State and Ohio State in the same season.

The 1987 Hoosiers were measurably the fourth best team in IU football history. They beat the Buckeyes and Wolverines not only in the same season, but in the same month. Their 8-4 record would be a five-alarm fire in Columbus, even in Earle's era when 9-3 wasn't good enough.

But magical seasons don't care about context or other programs. Eight wins in Bloomington is a celebration. IU is in decent shape to contend for eight wins no matter what happens this weekend.

No B1G champion has ever taken down both Michigan teams, Penn State and Ohio State in the same season. On Saturday the 2020 Hoosiers will try to pile some more magic onto what they've already accumulated through half of a shortened season.

And they'll have to do it on the same field as the Darkest Day. The stadium will be mostly empty, the talent disparity will be ominous and IU is no longer sneaky-good. If the Hoosiers leave Ohio Stadium with a 5-0 record as a 21-point underdog, Earle's 33-year old press conference quip will require an update.

This day would be much darker. Do you know where you are? You're in the Situational.

OPENING: PARALLEL UNIVERSE

Nov 18, 2017: J.T. Barrett hugs one of his backups before his final game at Ohio Stadium against Illinois ©Joe Maiorana | USAT Sports

Over on Earth 2 Illibuck is at stake for the first time since Ohio State's QB room was occupied by:

• Two future NFL 1st round picks
• A guy who owns half the B1G record book
• Tathan "Tate" Martell.

For those of you scoring at home (pretty much all of us - thanks, coronavirus) that depth chart had a future Heisman winner, a third-placer and a fifth-placer! And we don't even know where Martell will finish next season in the voting when he triumphantly returns to action.

The Buckeyes' current QB finished third in last season's voting, and every precious game gives him another opportunity to pile more statistics on top of the ones he's been accumulating. It's not just touchdowns and yardage anymore; it's a race between touchdowns and incompletions that touchdowns just might end up winning.

When the Ilini roll out the antimicrobial carpet for the Buckeyes next weekend, Justin Fields will get to contend with the famous Champaign Wind™ that has kept Ohio State's passing game largely grounded there for decades, however victorious they always end up.

Illibuck is Ohio State's only trophy game. There's no intention of relinquishing it. Next week!

INTERMISSION: THE SOLO

My Appetite for Destruction cassette already carried an audible hiss when Indiana rolled into Ohio Stadium and treated it like the Out R Inn bathroom. Welcome to the Jungle through Rocket Queen had played enough times to impair the tape integrity and the audio quality. It had only been out for a few months, but I played it daily.

I listened to Appetite before Ohio State games. Before Upper Arlington games. On the way to school. Before practice. After practice. On the way from school. Through headphones while sleeping. Not only were all of GnR's songs great, they were slotted in the ideal order. Mr. Brownstone was the perfect lead-in to Paradise City; Think About You into Sweet Child o' Mine was flawless - the entire compilation and construction were breathtaking.

I was 13 and had no idea what most of the songs were about - I just knew they all kicked ass. Mr. Brownstone, as it turns out, is about heroin addiction. Let's answer our two questions.

Is the soloist in this video actually playing the guitar?

That's Ola Hudson's kid Slash on lead guitar. Ola was a fashion legend, an artist canonized in the MOMA and pitchwoman used to sell Dewar's, my forever first-shelf scotch. Slash is an accidental fashion icon and a guitar virtuoso. Genes, how do they work? VERDICT: Ola's kid is playing the guitar.

Does this guitar solo slap?

Slash is in Eddie Van Halen's orbit as a lead guitarist and soloist. There's not much more to say except kids, don't do heroin. Not even once. Play guitar instead. VERDICT: Slaps.

THE BOURBON

There is a bourbon for every situation. Sometimes the spirits and the events overlap, which means that where bourbon is concerned there can be more than one worthy choice.

Last year before the Buckeyes humbled the Bearcats I showcased Cincinnati distillery New Riff's BiB bourbon. New Riff has a contract through MGP, also discussed here, to sell Ohio Kentucky Indiana Straight Bourbon, better known by its initials.

As it turned out, New Riff was more focused on its New Riff brands, leaving stepchild O.K.I. neglected. That changed earlier this year when Chad Brizendine and Jake Warm prevented it from lapsing on New Riff's shelf and are once again giving it the attention it richly deserves.

O.K.I. Straight Bourbon. Yeah, call it a comeback.

If that sounds personal, you're right - Jake's great grandfather (also Jake) built the warehouse that quietly keeps Lawrenceburg, IN a major player the whiskey production game. O.K.I.'s revival barrels will rest and age in that same historic building. Neglect is not in the cards.

The way back begins right now, with ten barrels - and more coming in behind them - marking O.K.I.'s triumphant return. Last week I was able to sample barrels no.1 (Founder's), no.3 (Gallenstein), no.5 (Deps) and no.6 (Revival).

Mash bill secrets don't exist with O.K.I.; we're getting 60% corn, 36% rye and 4% malted barley across the board. Sweet heat is an appropriate descriptor, though it's gentle enough that you can pick up on blackberry jam, butterscotch, pungent tobacco or vanilla based on the barrel - which must have had significant variations between in char or warehouse position because there were striking differences in experience.

The same mash went into all of them and came out telling four unique stories. O.K.I. is, as expected, sweet up front but surprisingly sweet on the (very long) finish as well. If you're in the O.K.I. geographical orbit, look for a bottle - it should retail right around $69.

CLOSING: APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION

Nov 7, 2020: Michael Penix throws a pass against Michigan. Gabe Newburg (99) can't get to him for some reason. | ©Marc Lebryk | USAT Sports

Indiana's Dream Season. Ohio State's Usual Season. A harsh reality will smash into one of these on Saturday.

The Buckeyes have nailed the Penn State-and-both-Michigans combo breaker for three straight seasons and eight times since the Nittany Lions joined the conference You cannot imagine life without that beautiful ritual. Indiana just did it for the first time ever. Unlike Ohio State, it has to also play the Buckeyes.

The Hoosiers have beaten Ohio State and Michigan in the same season exactly once, out of 68 chances. Think about how excited you are about the Buckeyes all of the time and amp that up to radioactive, not-just-generational but ever-ever levels. And the thing is, they knew.

Michael Penix Jr. on the chance to play the Penn States, Ohio States, Michigans of the world (teams he missed the chance to play last year).

"I feel like we're going to shock the world. I know we are." #iufb

— Jon Blau (@Jon_Blau) September 30, 2020

That shock can be measured both in how serviceable the Hoosiers are as well as how bad the Lions and mitten squads appear to be in 2020, a year in which nothing makes sense. Ohio State has been the one constant this season, and it's heading for a showdown with someone else's new destiny.

*THIS FRIDAY*Join Jason & Tyvis for 11W's No Cap Pod back at Buffalo Wild Wings in Grandview

I was in the building the last time the Hoosiers won in Ohio Stadium. In the pre-internet era it was hard to keep up with what was supposed to happen each Saturday, so the shock that filled the Horseshoe that day was authentic. That Indiana team - led by Woody Hayes acolyte Bill Mallory - looked like the superior program all afternoon. It looked like an old Woody team, actually.

Nobody wearing scarlet saw that coming. Everyone wearing crimson knew it was in the cards.

We already know that Indiana-Ohio State is the game of the year in the B1G East and should determine who gets the trip to Indianapolis on Dec 19 along with who gets to face Northwestern, Wisconsin or Iowa for 3rd place.

That last sentence was impossible in 1987. It was impossible in 2019. Impossible no longer exists.

Ohio State's best possible performance, or even just a solid effort beats Indiana's A game going away. But Saturday's matchup might as well be Muncie Central vs. Milan. It's 2020, and the last remaining bit of normalcy is Ohio State's command over the conference it has owned for the better part of the century.

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The Buckeyes haven't lost a regular season game to a good team in four years. Eight-win Iowa and six-win Purdue both caught lightning in a bottle, turned Ohio State's coaching staff inside-out and black uniform'd their way into mystic, blowout victories. This year's Hoosiers are, talent-wise, similar to those Hawkeyes and Boilermakers. Their magic has been on display for four games.

Rutgers did Ohio State a favor with its 2nd half performance a couple of weeks ago when the Buckeyes allowed a false sense of security to surprise them, albeit with minimal consequences. IU will not quit on Saturday, even after Justin Fields dissects its zone defense with laser-guided touchdown passes.

The Hoosiers finally have a winning football culture. Now they just need more dudes to take over the division from the program that already has both.

Thanks for getting Situational today. Go Bucks. Beat Indiana. Take care of each other.