Because I am a benevolent overlord, and we sit on the cusp of a three-day weekend, here are three NSFW Anti-Work #Bangers:
- 20 year-old Mike Tyson dumps Trevor Berbick to become the Heavyweight Champion of the World. I don't care what anybody says, there has never been, nor will there ever be, a man capable of surviving in the ring against Tyson on that night.
- Two years later, in 1988: Tyson rolls Michael "Jinx" Spinks with terrifying alacrity and viciousness. For my money, Tyson's intro is one of the more blood-chilling things I've ever seen in sports.
- We finish with another true banger: 10 minutes of Iron Mike knocking the consciousness out those foolish enough to stand in his way. (Had Cus D'Amato not died so early in Tyson's career, Tyson's entire book would be different.)
WE MUST PROTECT THIS HEISMAN CANDIDATE. If you want a good read on Ohio State's dynamo quarterback and what OSU needs to do to prosper next year, I have your ticket.
From Matt Brown at SportsOnEarth.com:
But entering the 2014 season, Miller -- along with Meyer and offensive coordinator Tom Herman -- faces a daunting challenge that will define the course of Ohio State's season, and also may shape both the College Football Playoff race and the national perception of the Big Ten: striking a balance between cautiously protecting himself and carrying the Buckeyes offense on his back. There's a lot riding on Miller's senior season, but the nature of his role over the course of four years means that Ohio State must walk a tightrope to reach its full potential.
Despite faltering down the stretch last season with losses to Michigan State in the Big Ten championship and Clemson in the Orange Bowl, the Buckeyes are widely expected to enter this fall as Big Ten favorites, again. While that's partly a result of Meyer's status as one of the game's best coaches and recruiters, as well as the development of arguably the nation's best defensive line, much of the responsibility falls on the shoulders of Miller, a four-year starter who has proven to be an ideal fit for Meyer's spread option offense.
[...]
Miller has experienced it all in his long career as a starter: a mediocre season after the sudden firing of Jim Tressel; an undefeated but unrecognized season thanks to sanctions he had nothing to do with; a perfect regular season damaged by injuries and ultimately ending in disappointment. Where his final act takes him will depend both on luck and the ability of his team to figure out how to maximize his contributions while not depending on him for everything.
Man, this fall is going to be a lot of fun, you guys. Call it a hunch. I guess this means I disagree with ESPN's Ed Cunningham.
BILL GOLDBERG, BARRY SWITZER, CROWN ROYAL AND WILD TURKEY. I would pay twice the market price ($48, or thereabout) to see a movie with that title.
(For those who need a refresher course on Bill Goldberg's swagger, click here.)
From The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, on Goldberg's college football recruitment:
Goldberg, 47, is from Tulsa, Oklahoma, and was heavily recruited by the local colleges, including Oklahoma coach Barry Switzer, who would drink a “Crown on the rocks within five minutes” after coming over to Goldberg’s house on visits.
Good to see my man Barry Switzer enjoys a smooth Crown on the rocks. That's a drink of the gods. It's also hard to believe Golberg was able to turn a turn down a turnt OG swaggernaut like Switzer.
Goldberrrrrrrrrrrrg eventually ended up at Georgia, and Bulldog fans might have a bottle of Wild Turkey to thank:
“(My uncle) was best friends with Bear Bryant, and Bear Bryant passed way,” Goldberg said. “My uncle asked me if I had any interest in going to Georgia because he thought very highly of a guy named Vince Dooley. Since they were the Junkyard Dogs (and) known for defense, it sort of played into my mentality. It was red and black. It was kind of a violent style of football.
“I gave it a shot … Again, what solidified my trip was a bottle of Wild Turkey that was handed to me as I was standing on top of a bar during my recruiting trip. You know, I had a great time at Georgia, great memories. It will always be that one thing in my life that I’ll want to re-enact again.”
I don't know about y'all, but this recruiting story is a lot cooler than a recruiting story about a teen tweeting out his top 15 list. WE NEED MORE OF THESE STORIES.
Somebody get me Barry Switzer's agent, I have a book deal to pitch.
NFL STARTING TO VALUE EDUCATION. Despite costs being up and the value being down, it appears the NFL is starting to value players with college degrees.
Armed with science and a bit of logic, the Eagles have quietly scoured the college ranks for something that has little to do with 40-yard dash times or bench-press abilities. They want players who have earned college degrees.
"When you look at people who are successful in any profession, it always goes back to college graduates," said Eagles general manager Howie Roseman. "We found NFL players are no different."
[...]
Philadelphia's philosophy of pursuing graduates was born when Roseman, the Eagles' general manager since 2010, and Kelly, the team's second-year coach, each discovered that teams with the most college graduates are overwhelmingly successful. Kelly learned this late in his coaching tenure at Oregon, when former Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy, whose son played at Oregon, mentioned in a talk to Oregon players that in the 2000s, the two teams who happened to have loads of graduates were the Colts and New England Patriots. Those teams dominated the first decade of this century.
I guess we will never see Duron Carter catching passes in Philadelphia.
But this is why I love Chip Kelly. He's always tinkering with his philosophy, and he's humble enough to steal successful strategies from other people. Say what you will about him; he's a pioneer in the game, and the game is better for it. I hope he continues to wreck the National Football League — a league riddled with Boring, Real Serious Shit-People — for the next two decades.
BOISE STATE'S PRESIDENT LEAVES THE YARD. Careful there, little guppy; you don't want want Big Dick Jim Delany to come off his throne.
Boise State's president [Bob Kustra] issued a scathing criticism of NCAA reforms Wednesday night, seemingly accusing the commissioners of the SEC and Big Ten of “calling the shots.”
[...]
Saying the NCAA has “ranged far afield” from the traditional amateur model, Kustra attacked what he perceives the Big Five conferences' hijacking of the system. He called reform “subterfuge for fueling the arms race.”
“The NCAA cannot fall prey to phony arguments about student welfare when the real goal of some of these so-called reformers is create a plutocracy," Kustra wrote, “that serves no useful purpose in American higher education.”
Mind you, this is coming from the president of a university that just sold the naming rights of their stadium to a grocery store chain.
Then there's this:
Boise Pres could not have history more wrong - CFB has ALWAYS been big business. 1894 gm btw Harvard&Yale generated $3 mil in 2014 $. 1894
— Dave Revsine (@BTNDaveRevsine) May 22, 2014
But yeah, pardon the sharks in the pond for not playing fair with the guppies, I guess? "But they may have 'revert' to the D-3 model!!!" To which I say, so? I'll call that bluff all day.
Anyway, here's how I envision Jim Delany's (NSFW) reaction went down:
TYVIS POWELL HAS A POINT, Y'ALL. I'm all for pushing the marriage age back to 65. It'd give me something to look forward to in my old age other than an endless buffet of pain-killers and losing control of my bowels.
I'll probably get married when I'm about.......65! If she can stay that long, then she loyal
— Tyvis Powell (@1Tyvis) May 22, 2014
THOSE WMDs. Let me ruin any notion of good things happening to the USMNT at the World Cup... ACC-SEC making sure they never have to leave the southeast for an OOC game... You can get dumped too, Actor I Can't Place In Any Specific Work... Celebrating Sun Ra at 100... Michigan's Shaun Crawford suspended from St. Ed's... Mike Leach's coaching staff filled with historical figures is dynamite... Robbie Keane still has some magic in his legs... PSA: It always gets better... BYU (yes, BYU) is under investigation for impermissible benefits... They do it differently in Alaska... Donovan's statement on being left out of World Cup squad... Over a year later, I still laugh at this...
