This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- Via Toolface4: Stone Cold E.T. (I feel guilty for how hard I laughed at this.)
- Freddie Gibbs, On One.
- Year of Wario repost: The Wire's 100 greatest quotes.
DO THEY KNOW WAFFLE HOUSE CATERS? One of the hottest takes I keep in the oven is the fact I'm pro-breakfast. No, I'm not one of those creepy people who dream about paying $8 at some "cereal cafe" for a bowl of offbrand Lucky charms they ate as a kid, but I'm also not one of those creepy people who don't like breaking fasts.
So yeah, I have opinions about the most important meal of the day, which is why I liked Jeff Svoboda of BuckeyeSports.com's dispatch from Ohio State football's breakfast tables. They sound cooler than study tables.
What awaited them was a veritable buffet of, well, buffets.
There was a hot breakfast buffet, which included eggs, bacon, pancakes, breakfast sandwiches, fruit and yogurt.
There was also a hot lunch buffet that featured salmon, chicken, rice and asparagus.
A salad bar and a healthful snack cart, which featured items like fruit cups, trail mix, pretzels and more, were on one wall. Just behind that was a sandwich bar featuring cold cuts, veggies and cookies. Drinks ranging from Gatorade to chocolate milk – the choice of Cardale Jones – were lined along the glass wall that overlooks the team’s weight room.
Stop the dang presses, folks.
Cardale Jones is a chocolate milk disciple? Vegas is taking the odds of me naming my firstborn "Cardale" off the board right now. My only hope is 12 Gauge knows about Fairlife chocolate milk, which revolutionized the game.
One might say benching Cardale at this point would be like Benching the Beatles, but I would say the Beatles were just less talented Justin Biebers. (Please don't butcher my family, Beliebers.)
But if The Iron King, Cardale Jones, First of His Name, Poacher of Badgers, Controller of Tides, Slayer of Ducks, Troll Sultan, and 12th Son of Ohio, is calcifying his bones with daily chocolate milk intake... go on and put your "401k money" (whatever that is) on him starting. It's over for the competition.
OHIO STATE IS GOING DEEP, ACTUALLY. I think Kentucky is going to win the title (l still love you, Coach Cal), but Bovada gives Ohio State 50:1 odds to win the title, which seems overvalued to me.
But while it's easy to spot this team's flaws, it's a team that does a lot of things well.
From Neil Greenberg of WashingtonPost.com:
The Buckeyes are rated 12th in ESPN’s latest Basketball Power Index and 16th in the Pomeroy College Basketball Ratings behind a 21-8 record. They rank 12th in the nation in effective field goal percentage, 20th in points scored per 100 possessions adjusted for competition and 34th in adjusted points points allowed. In other words, a very well-rounded team.
Freshman guard D’Angelo Russell is turning in a tremendous season, one that has him in elite company. He is averaging 19.0 points, 5.8 rebounds and 5.3 assists per game with a 117.3 offensive rating while using nearly 30 percent of Ohio State’s possessions. Per Bleacher Report’s C.J. Moore, in the last 10 years, there have been two freshman perimeter players with an offensive rating that high who have used at least 28 percent of their team’s possessions: Stephen Curry and James Harden.
Plus, the Buckeyes continue to improve on defense, especially against the pick and roll. [...] The RPI, one of the tools used by the NCAA Selection Committee to evaluate teams, has them 32nd. That puts them as a No.7 or No. 8 seed in the bracket if it were held today.
I want to believe, I do. Hell, with a player of Silk Russell's caliber, anything is possible. But, it's hard for me to look at this team's road performances and feel good about the upcoming tournaments, which are comprised entirely of road games.
I'd love to be proven wrong, but I'm not enticed by the prospect of playing Xavier in a No. 8/No. 9 matchup.
RID ME OF THESE JITTERS, BOSSMAN RON LEWIS:
(How did we watch sports before HDTV?)
The second most memorable highlight from that game? Greg Oden almost killing a man.
BUCKEYE BALLERS AHOY. All it takes is a walk through the tailgate lots on a fall Saturday to realize there are swaths of rich Ohio State fans who have no problem spending stacks on their fandom.
From Jon Spencer of BucyrusTelegraphForum.com:
The [Buckeye Cruise for Cancer] raised nearly $2 million for cancer research at The James Cancer Hospital. One guy paid $200,000 at an auction for a framed collection of gold pants — the trinket awarded to members of the team for beating Michigan.
My heart would burst if there were $200,000 in my checking account, so props to that guy for pulling off the rare feat of stunting for a good cause.
LETTERMEN JACKETS. Lettermen jackets are best left to high schoolers, that is unless you're a national champion:
Congrats to @DameWebb on receiving his Letterman Jacket! pic.twitter.com/0T5zUh8DBJ
— Damon Webb Sr (@webbdamon) March 6, 2015
I'll say it: I don't like the Twinkie-colored sleeves on OSU's varsity jackets. Ain't no cream in Ohio State's colors. Granted, I buy shirts at gas stations so I'm not one for high fashion, but the cream sleeves perplexed me back when I was in school.
WISCONSIN'S BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIP HIGHLIGHTS. I was late to the @TomOrr4 bandwagon, but he's an extremely good Twitter follower if you like Ohio State and/or dislike Michigan.
As evidence of his genius, I present this Wisconsin Big Ten Championship highlight reel (no typo) he spent hours compiling:
(The good thing about this off-season is we can shit talk all our enemies and there's nothing they can say.)
THOSE WMDs. How the SFD used Facebook to lure would-be pimps... Why celebrities use fake names at hotels, and what makes a good one... How much worker's comp will pay for various parts of your body, state-by-state... Family Circus with True Detective dialogue... Over 100 stealth egg attacks baffle Euclid homeowner and police.
