Pistachios are hereby endorsed. I wanted to hate them like their commercials... but they're delectable.
Anyway, from last night:
- The women's team warded off Northwestern, 76-73. Kelsey Mitchell didn't have a field goal at the half and finished with 26 points.
- The men's team staved off a fourth quarter collapse to beat Illinois in overtime, 68-63. Aspiring Pokémaster Mickey Mitchell shushed Assembly Hall after his five-point performance.
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- Training Day: "King Kong ain't got shit on me!"
- Gladiator: "Are you not entertained?"
- Dave Chappelle HBO comedy half hour.
SOMEBODY CALL BAMA; LET'S PLAY NEXT WEEK. Ohio State's Senior Bowl contingent has been in Mobile, Alabama since Tuesday. Shockingly, it took Alabama media 48 hours to ask about the Tide's Cotton Bowl blowout of Michigan State.
From al.com:
"It kinda made us look bad," Vannett said.
[...]
"I think we would have definitely done a better job," said former Buckeye defensive back Tyvis Powell. "I was shocked they didn't score a point. It is what it is. It was very disappointing. But, Alabama, it was their year. I guess everybody has their year and it was their time to win."
I was not shocked Sparty got his teeth knocked into his stomach. That ass-kicking was as predictable as Ohio State dumping Michigan after losing the week prior.
Serious note though, Jesus and all his disciples could not have saved those bums on that day...that L was inevitable.
— Darron Lee (@DLeeMG8) January 29, 2016
Still, Sparty deserves its props for coming into Ohio Stadium and stealing a win. They deserved it, and Ohio State needed to lose to summon the inner dog it had lacked through much of the campaign. It's unfortunate the game happened in late November and not early October.
As for Alabama? We may never know, but Buckeyes had no problem saying who they thought would win:
"The same thing would have happened," [Powell] said.
[...]
"Yeah," [Adolphus Washington said]. "I believe so."
If you're looking for a disagreement it's not going to come from the guy who predicted 54 Ohio State wins in its last 54 games.
THE SENATOR CONTINUES TO DRAG LAW ENFORCEMENT. They got El Chapo, but the Senator still breathes free air. He sat down for an extensive interview with Monday Morning Quarterback—no Sean Penn—to talk about recruiting the five Buckeyes that will appear in Super Bowl 50.
He was so comfortable, he told a horror story involving Bradley Roby, Vanderbilt wide receiver.
From mmqb.com:
It was an interesting thing. Bradley Roby came to our youth summer camp and he wanted to be a receiver. He was okay but we didn’t offer him. We said, Why don’t you try defense? But he wasn’t interested because he wanted to be a receiver. At the time, Cameron Heyward was on our team and Cam’s mom and Bradley’s mom were best friends. Cam’s mom Charlotte was a little mad at me for not offering Bradley. Bradley commits to Vanderbilt and the fall goes by.
I’ll never forget it, I was on a recruiting trip in Fort Wayne, Indiana and it was a snowstorm I’m getting ready to leave the hotel, and I’ve got my briefcase and my bag, my topcoat and scarf when the phone rings. I think, ‘Great, I’ve got all my hands full, who is this call?’ It was Charlotte. And I was worried Cameron was going to go out early and we were all holding our breath, so I took the call. She said, ‘I don’t care what you’ve heard, Cam’s staying. That boy is going to finish his career with you. But that’s not why I called.’ I didn’t care why she called, I was so happy, Cam’s staying? That’s the best. She said, ‘You need to recruit Bradley. He wants to play defense now. He’s decommitting.’ I said, ‘Well, I’m not going to call him up until I see it on the internet.’
And what do you know, Bradley decommits and he wants to play defense. Then all of the sudden, everybody in the world wanted him, Alabama is in there, LSU is in there, and I’m thinking, Oh boy, he’s from Georgia, how in the world are we going to get him? Enter Charlotte to the rescue. Charlotte says, ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got mom all set.’ And the rest is history.
You're damn right The Senator wasn't sleeping on teenagers' floors or parking semis at high schools. He understood an ancient key to success: The mother holds the keychain.
It's also crazy to think had his criminal empire not been proven friable by one FOIA request he could possibly maybe be president at Ohio State right now. Could you imagine if Tressel and Pryor had one last ride in 2011 (possible championship alert!) and then he retired only to swoop Urban Meyer as his replacement?
Hell, he'd be the 2016 frontrunner if he pulled that off.
TAKE THE WEEKEND OFF, BRAXTON. Braxton Miller ran roughshod over Senior Bowl DBs (again) on Thursday. The Pittsburgh Steelers, New England Patriots, and Kansas City Chiefs reportedly view Braxton as a second-round talent. Given his performance they'd have to move up to get him.
From si.com:
I polled a few different Senior Bowl attendees, ranging from media to scouts, about Miller’s current stock. The general consensus: Don’t be surprised if Miller hears his name called late in Round 1; by Round 2, he could become a bargain.
“He's not a project,” Eric Galko of Optimum Scouting told me. That sentiment was echoed almost verbatim by an NFL scout, who added, “He's been better than I expected.”
[...]
When I asked former NFL scout and current Scouting Academy director Dan Hatman where he thought Miller would land, he answered, “Hopefully with a team that knows how to use him.”
That last sentence is the crucial part. The problem is only a third of the NFL is competent at any time. Watching Braxton Miller try to catch passes from Brian Hoyer would be depressing.
I hope the Carolina Panthers do the right thing with its No. 1 pick. As for me, I'll be brooding over my toasted Blocks bagel:
Reading about @BraxtonMiller5's huge Senior Bowl week, it's mind-boggling he had no more than 2 catches in Ohio State's final six games.
— Adam Rittenberg (@ESPNRittenberg) January 28, 2016
LAKERS CASHING OUT ON SILK? It's been a minute since I updated D'Angelo Russell's hostage situation with the Los Angeles Lakers and its tinpot dictator of a coach, Byron Scott.
Things aren't swell:
In taking to people around the league on who has been made available in trade talks a very surprising name has come up: DeAngelo Russell
— Brian Geltzeiler (@hoopscritic) January 28, 2016
Geltzeiler, an NBA reporter I trust, went onto say in a video interview Lakers coach Byron Scott does not like Russell's attitude on the court or in the locker room. So the Lakers are definitely shopping him.
If only somebody could've seen this train wreck coming...
1927 LOOKS LIT. Pretty sure the only law in 1927 was Prohibition:
#ThrowbackOSU to an airplane on the Oval in 1927. pic.twitter.com/xCv1V6apd9
— OhioState (@OhioState) January 29, 2016
THOSE WMDs. Sculpture of stereotypical Italian chef proof of pizzeria's commitment to excellence... Flint Journal exec says weather stories get more clicks than water crisis... Football party turns into parent's worst nightmare... How a father and son solved the dinosaurs' extinction... Secrets of the Magus... Food poisoning expert on the six most dangerous foods.
