I apologize for yesterday's Bee Gees shenanigans. I'm not big on April Fools' antics, but my mind made one Bee Gees joke while typing and then I fell into a vortex.
One time there were three people in my life able to stand my company for more than 20 minutes. My son and ex-wife were never among that holy trinity. That's why they live in El Paso, Texas last I heard.
Anyway, back the real business: Ohio State Kingdom. Today marks Urban Meyer's fifth Student Appreciation Day at Ohio State, which is an underrated masterstroke on his part.
Everybody understands the appeal to students but people forget the added benefit to the team, especially one as unproven as the Buckeyes' 2016 squad. I doubt there are many programs that can bring juice by the hogshead to a spring practice of its choosing.
The doors open at 11 a.m. for those with a legal BuckID. I hope these #GenerationZ students respect their elders too as there's no doubt that herd of 45-year-old men carrying bags of mini helmets while hawking players for autographs are students too.
N.Y.ZEKE? HE'S COOL WITH IT. The NFL Draft looms later this month, which is always fun to watch the players you know and love enter a crapshoot controlled by a corrupt cartel of borderline-to-outright criminals. (Flip side: It's also fun to watch the players you know make two commas in one night.)
The New York Giants own the draft's 10th pick. Elliott, who could be the most NFL-ready player in the draft, might still be on the board. Should the Giants call his number, he's more than ready to pay taxes in "the Big Apple" as the locals love to call it.
From foxsports.com:
If the Giants do scoop up Elliott, he thinks he can take them to a Super Bowl fairly quickly.
"That would definitely be a great spot for me. I could see it now, you know," Elliott said on FOX Sports South's "The Panel" Friday. "Eli, Odell and me -- that's a three-headed monster right there. I think we'd give everyone a run for their money. I think we could go win a Super Bowl pretty early."
The San Diego Tribune's five-round, six-page slideshow mock draft also puts Elliott to the Giants, so you might as well carve it in stone.
I won't be salty in the least if this goes down but big markets carry unseen land mines. (Somewhere in the distance, D'Angelo Russell sighs.)
PFF RANKS BUCKS CLASS. Pro Football Focus has its supporters and detractors, but it always makes people think. The football analytics firm assigned its henchmen to watch Ohio State's 2015 film and rank the Buckeyes' 2016 draft crop which is expected to re-open the floodgates of Urban Meyer-recruited talent in the NFL.
Its henchman had some #takes.
From profootballfocus.com:
| RANK | PLAYER | POS | RANKING SENTENCE |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | JOEY BOSA | DE | "Plainly stated, Bosa’s statistical superiority over his peers during the last two seasons is without equal." |
| 2 | EZEKIEL ELLIOTT | RB | "Zeke offers the size-to-speed combination matched only by Derrick Henry and Keith Marshall within the class and, equipped with the largest hands at the combine, offers the blocking and receiving ability the others lack." |
| 3 | MICHAEL THOMAS | WR | "In reality, the opening round of the draft contains a finite number of picks, but Thomas is easily worthy of mentioning within that group." |
| 4 | ELI APPLE | CB | "Apple is an extremely interesting case among this crop of cornerbacks considering his contrasting set of skills." |
| 5 | ADOLPHUS WASHINGTON | DT | "Washington holds a level of scheme-dependency, but his ability to get to the quarterback and in defending the A- and B-gaps will provide value to his future team." |
| 6 | JOSHUA PERRY | LB | "Equipped with his size, speed, and coverage-ability, Perry is a name we should hear during the second day of the draft" |
| 7 | VONN BELL | S | "He will need further development in downhill run defense and lacks pass rushing-instincts, but offers considerable value with his ability to range over the top." |
| 8 | TAYLOR DECKER | OT | "He offers immediate playability and great value at his potentially depressed price." |
| 9 | DARRON LEE | LB | "Lee is lacking in experience at the position, and could’ve used another season of snaps to prepare him for the NFL. " |
| 10 | BRAXTON MILLER | WR | "It would not be surprising to see Miller require at least a full year of development in the NFL," |
| 11 | CARDALE JONES | QB | "Now that the dust has settled, we are left with a rocket-armed quarterback offering a significant amount of intrigue for a third-day selection, and a series of questions to be answered." |
No, I didn't forget to put a link on Cardale. PFF didn't make or hasn't released his individual scouting report yet. I'm suddenly questioning my entire effort in making this table.
The good news for NFL GMs is they can look smart by drafting Buckeyes early or savvy by drafting Buckeyes later. Just don't let your opponents strike first.
THOMAS UP 71? Close your eyes and envision the Cleveland Browns in the Super Bowl against whatever NFC team is stupid enough to stand in front of them. Robert Griffin III to Michael Thomas sounds like Hall of Fame to me.
Grossi: Michael Thomas, Ohio State WR, makes so much sense for the #Browns at 32. He is rated around there. Big, tall and a position of need
— ESPN Cleveland (@ESPNCleveland) April 1, 2016
The additional benefit of drafting Thomas is he can mentor oft-suspended WR Josh Gordon.
And to you people still laughing about envisioning the Browns in the Super Bowl just know you'll laugh now but cry later.
WOULD'VE FOOLED ME. I'm glad somebody finally asked this, but I'm also the guy who thought his 8th-grade science teacher fought in the Veterinarian War.
Thanks to @brdispatch, we now know it's pronounced:
— Lori Schmidt (@LoriSchmidt) March 31, 2016
BRI (rhymes with tie) on-tay Dunn.
Not BREE-on-tay. pic.twitter.com/DM3eP9AdtX
Now you can correct the drunk idiot at your tailgate shouting "Bree'ontay!" after every Bri'ontay touchdown this fall. Fair warning, though, that drunk idiot may be me.
BLUE BLOWS BIG ONE. We close this Saturday on a good note. The Michigan Wolverines lost to the lowly Michigan Wolverines on Friday night, 14-13, after Michigan's game-deciding two-point conversion fell flat. (I feel like we've all this that porno before...)
This many people spent a beautiful spring Friday night watching 27 spring game points:
Updated head count at Michigan Stadium pic.twitter.com/8K3LQMh2H7
— Rachel Lenzi (@RLenziBlade) April 1, 2016
Houston transfer John O'Korn, the guy who decided he didn't want to play for MENSA founder Tom Herman, was the presumed QB favorite entering spring. But ol' Wilton Speight put down the best QB performance of the night.
And I must mention—lest I risk a 5,000-word email from the ghost of M Man (Hell be upon him) that I will delete immediately—Michigan did pick up the commitment of 2018 Springfield, OH tight end Leonard Taylor. I chalk that up to this #BradyHokeEffect these kids keep yapping about.
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