There's a basketball game tonight. Go Nova. North Carolina losing would unleash a tsunami of creativity upon the nation's Crying Jordan manufacturers and end with the grotesque crowning of salty-ass Roy Williams.
So it is done. Let us begin.
OLD, KINDLY MAN SAYS KINDLY THINGS. Lou Holtz showed up to Ohio State's Student Appreciation Day wearing a blue shirt. Though Urban Meyer made him change it, he didn't make him throw the offending threads in the garbage can, where they belonged.
Getting punked like a blackballed motorcycle club member by his former understudy didn't seem to scar him. He made a short video statement about his experiences after Urban allowed him to re-dress:
Once a Buckeye, ALWAYS a Buckeye! Pt.1 pic.twitter.com/kv9j0SV1Kx
— Urban Meyer (@OSUCoachMeyer) April 3, 2016
Pt.2 pic.twitter.com/y8EuLbAEeU
— Urban Meyer (@OSUCoachMeyer) April 3, 2016
Of course I'm giving Holtz a hard time. Obviously we're all thankful for his crucial assistant work that propelled Woody Hayes' 1968 team to a national championship.
J.T. STAYS LONG AT STUDENT DAY, MAKES KID'S DAY. J.T. Barrett, barring his October O.V.I. arrest, has been a model citizen and teammate since his 2013 arrival in Columbus.
As the biggest name on the 2016 team, Barrett was mobbed by selfie-seeking students after the Buckeyes' extravaganza. But he hung around late to make a kid's day.
Enter six-year-old Dominic Ortega, who I assume is the youngest student in Ohio State history.
From theozone.net:
None of that phased Dominic. He kept running and kept his eye glued on the flight of the ball as he did so. When it finally came down he threw out his hands and made a great catch with not even a hint of a bobble. He never broke stride. He hauled it in like he was Jerry Rice and kept going.
The catch was memorable, and a little dust gets in my eye as I remember the moment. The cheer that went up after the catch was nearly as memorable. Everybody in the building let out a yell, and for that moment Dominic Ortega was a football star.
The years will pass for Dominic, and when he tells this story to his children and grandchildren the ball will be higher, the crowd will be bigger, and the cheer will be louder. One thing that will not change is that on that day J.T. Barrett did something as simple as throw a pass, and in doing so he created a memory for a total stranger that will last a lifetime for him, and for all of us that were lucky enough to be there to see it.
I looked him up: No recruiting services rate Ortega. Urban should offer him, kid will be a monster after he gets in Marotti's dojo.
TROY SMITH TAKES WORSE LOSS SINCE 2007. Always hate to see this: Troy Smith poisoned himself with alcohol and weed and then got behind the wheel of a car on Saturday night.
It didn't end well.
Smith is due in court on Wednesday. I'm no judge, jury, or lawyer but it would appear Columbus' case against the former Heisman-winner will be tough to beat:
Via deadspin.com:
Asked how he’s doing: “I’m officer, sir. I’m officer.”
Asked his highest level of education: “My name is Troy Smith. I graduated from Ohio State with a degree in bachelors.”
Asked to recite the alphabet from C to W: “C. D. E. F. G. H. I. [sigh] [infinite pause]”
You either stop being a sports fan with your heroes intact or you live long enough to see them list a "degree in bachelors" as their highest academic achievement in grainy D.U.I. arrest videos.
THE CHOICE IS YOURS, PEOPLE.
KAM WILLIAMS' MESSAGE TO THE DOUBTERS. While watching Ohio State men's basketball games, you, like me, might have found yourself saying, "Sure, Kam Williams' hair is great, but does it bring that kind of effort on a Saturday morning at 6:42 a.m.?"
Williams' hair embarrassed that question Saturday morning.
Work too hard to care about what ANYONE gotta say bout me!! pic.twitter.com/iZvX0NHSux
— Kam Williams (@kd__will) April 2, 2016
I'm led to believe he wakes up looking like that, which is amazing. He is now my favorite player on the team.
SCOUTING ON NAME DOES IT AGAIN. I was in on 2017 four-star DE Luiji Vilain over a year before Urban Meyer deemed him worthy of an Ohio State offer.
While Ohio State is in the hunt for Waluiji, it appears OSU basketball will not get a crack at another one of my all-name must haves from two years ago was 2016 five-star PF Thon Maker, who is 19-years-old right now.
From espn.com:
Five-star forward Thon Maker announced Sunday that he plans to declare for the 2016 NBA draft.
Maker made the announcement via a Bleacher Report video, and sources confirmed to ESPN that Maker and his circle have been exploring the option for a while.
The biggest question concerns Maker's eligibility to be drafted. NBA rules state that a player must be at least 19 years old and one year removed from high school. Maker turned 19 in February but still attends Orangeville Prep (Canada). Maker's case for eligibility would come down to convincing the NBA that he was a member of the 2015 class and decided to do a post-graduate year. Maker spent eighth grade at Metairie Park Country Day School (Louisiana), then ninth and 10th grade at Carlisle School (Virginia), before moving to Orangeville Prep for the past two years.
Ohio State wasn't going to get him anyway but if nobody else gets him then I'm still considering it a win for my scouting department.
DAYTON, STAND UP. I love North Carolina. It's a beautiful state where it's impossible to eat a bad meal. If I lived there I would weigh 400-pounds and my BBQ addiction would be ripping my life, body, and finances apart.
One thing preposterous thing about North Carolina, though, is this "well, actually" notion it, not Ohio, was the first in flight. Thankfully United States patent No. 82,393 just rode its brass balls into town to put a stake through the heart of that malarkey.
From washingtonpost.com (emphasis mine):
First, [National Archives conservator Lauren Varga] had to check the contents. She opened the envelope and examined one of the folders inside. There, on the cover, was the famous patent No. 821,393. There were the famous names Orville Wright and Wilbur Wright.
And next to the word invention, the cover form read: “Flying Machine.”
[...]
One document begins:
“Be it known that we Orville Wright and Wilbur Wright, both citizens of the United States, residing in the city of Dayton and state of Ohio, have jointly invented a new and useful machine for navigating the air.”
North Carolina can brag to non-Americans that yeah, Americans were first in flight. But on a state-to-state level? Ohio already knew the truth, but hopefully this them reconcile with it. It's high time they stop slandering the legacy of the Wright Brothers.
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