Drove 1,000+ miles this weekend to be a D-list wedding guest. Some observations:
- West Virginia considers Cracker Barrel an "attraction."
- Hanging a white shirt, grocery bag, etc. from the driver's window of a broken down car signifies "I will return for this abandoned vehicle, please don't tow or ticket me."
- The federal government should strip everyone from New York of their driver's license.
- "BUGSMOM" — West Virginia plates — the only other alpha wolf on the southeastern seaboard this weekend.
- Props to Huske Hardware in Fayetteville, NC. (Thanks to @DRoessl for the recommendation.)
- Marriage people: Keep it real and put "cash bar" on the invite. It's not a deal-breaker. I just want to show up with enough money to get saucy on overpriced IPAs.
- Two-lane, opposite-way highways should be illegal, as should 55 mph speed limits.
- North Carolina is beautiful.
- Virginia is beautiful.
- West Virginia is beautiful.
- Ohio is beautiful.
- America is beautiful.
Oh yeah, No. 5 Ohio State opened fall camp Sunday. Our Eric Seger wrote reports on the freshmen and newcomers practice, the upperclassmen practice, and Urban Meyer's and J.T. Barrett's pressers.
Here were my two sticking points:
Urban Meyer on his 2016 Ohio Stat team: Athleticism will not be an issue."
— Eric Seger (@EricSeger33) August 7, 2016
Urban Meyer + athletes? I'll roll the dice.
The other: Matthew Burrell, Josh Alabi, and Alex Stump were redshirt freshmen who practiced with true freshmen and newcomers. Nothing happens by coincidence in Meyer's program, and nothing good can be read from that.
MAMA BEAR KEEPS IT REAL. As the No. 1 overall pick of the 2004 NFL Draft, Eli Manning infamously forced a trade from the San Diego Chargers to the New York Giants.
Twelve years later, the No. 3 overall pick of the draft, Joey Bosa, finds himself in a contract standoff with the same franchise. He is the only unsigned first-round draft pick, and things are contentious.
From sandiegotribune.com:
Imagine, for a moment, being Joey Bosa's mother.
Your 21-year-old son is the only NFL draft pick not in training camp. Being an outlier casts a negative light on him; while some fans side with him, others naturally back the team. You believe your son is being dragged through the mud by an organization that has not communicated with Bosa's agent in 10 days, that has yet to propose a contract structure resembling recent deals for a No. 3 overall pick. Oh, and by the way, had the home-state Jaguars drafted your son fifth overall instead of the Chargers at No. 3, none of this would be a problem.
Well, she is reacting as parents sometimes do.
A source authenticated a Facebook comment left by Cheryl Bosa on Sunday afternoon. In it, she voices frustration at the situation. "It bums me out for him so much," she wrote to a friend. "Wish we pulled an Eli Manning on draft day."
The NFL is a cabal of lizard vampires, so I am proud to back Bosa on his holdout.
The Chargers, who bungled an extortion attempt to move to Los Angeles, are bullshitting. I'm tired of second-hand, pro-NFL goop most reporters feed us. If Mama Bosa ain't happy, I ain't happy.
ALL ABOARD THE MCCALL HYPE TRAIN. Ohio State fans are all in on true freshman defensive end Nick Bosa. They aren't wrong.
But folks, I'm pushing my chips into the middle of the table on freshman H-back Demario McCall. This is how he spent his Friday night:
Via @cryofreeze1
He then showed up at camp Saturday in this ensemble:
McCall swagger over 10,000. Photo by 11W's Andrew Lind.
Urban Meyer said he wants to play 18 true freshmen this fall. He'll play six, tops.
McCall, Warren G. Harding willing, will be one of those six.
WE DON'T DESERVE NICE THINGS. Critics murdered Suicide Squad, so naturally it made $135 million its opening weekend—a record. Of course, an internet hustler arose to profiteer on two popular memes:
— Bryan (@MurderBryan) August 7, 2016
This shirt is undoubtedly 100% unlicensed and will thankfully be tombstoned by the university's legal eagles.
MEANWHILE... Jim Harbaugh's life plan: Play as long as possible, coach, and die.
Come to think of it, I know a guy who could arrange that funeral...
THOSE WMDs. Shaun Rodgers almost killed Kyle Boller... Superheroes and villains who've beaten Superman... Greed, passion, lust, betrayal, and the Olympics in between... Seven facts about Turkish Van cats... The Bennett brothers vs. everyone... Oral history of the Dream Team.
