It's Friday, baby! But while us working class folks celebrate an impending reprieve from our weekly grind, the amateur football team we all love to know starts its annual stretch of two-a-days.
Our coverage from yesterday:
- Greg Schiano: Malik Hooker and Damon Webb lead the safety battle, but it's not over.
- Joe Burrow prepares like a man who knows the history of Urban Meyer's backup quarterbacks.
- Videos of Fall Practice 5.
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- Fargo: Is this what you want?
- Tony Soprano's greatest moments.
- Training Day King Kong speech.
MAKES U THINK. I view unscientific polls in the same light as stats: They're good if I agree with them and bad if I don't. For an example of a good unscientific poll, we turn to this BTN survey question.
From btn.com:
| COACH | SCHOOL | VOTES |
|---|---|---|
| URBAN MEYER | OHIO STATE | 5 |
| PAUL CHRYST | WISCONSIN | 2 |
| MARK DANTONIO | MICHIGAN STATE | 2 |
| CHRIS ASH | RUTGERS | 1 |
| JAMES FRANKLIN | PENN STATE | 1 |
| JIM HARBAUGH | MICHIGAN | 1 |
Any poll with James Franklin and Jim Harbaugh running neck and neck is 100% official in my mind. Somewhat surprising is Paul Chryst managed two votes considering players couldn't vote for their own coach, but Chryst would be an upgrade on the likes of Darrell Hazell and Tracy Claeys.
For an example of a bad unscientific poll, we turn to another question in the same survey.
| SCHOOL | VOTES |
|---|---|
| MICHIGAN STATE | 4 |
| OHIO STATE | 2 |
| IOWA | 2 |
| MICHIGAN | 2 |
| ILLINOIS | 1 |
| MINNESOTA | 1 |
| PURDUE | 1 |
Lovie Smith doesn't even think Illinois will win the Big Ten this year, so perhaps the conference needs expanded drug testing.
There is also no way the vote for Purdue wasn't a troll.
| MASCOT (SCHOOL) | VOTES |
|---|---|
| BRUTUS (OHIO STATE) | 4 |
| SPARTY (MICHIGAN STATE) | 4 |
| PURDUE PETE (PURDUE) | 2 |
| BUCKY (WISCONSIN) | 1 |
| GOLDY (MINNESOTA) | 1 |
| NITTANY (PENN STATE) | 1 |
This result somewhat surprised me, given Brutus isn't an intimidating or comical mascot.
I am worried about Purdue Pete's popularity, however. The only mascot poll that should rate him is one asking which B1G mascot the federal government is most likely to indict for methamphetamine trafficking.
| STADIUM (SCHOOL) | VOTES |
|---|---|
| MEMORIAL STADIUM (NEBRASKA) | 5 |
| OHIO STADIUM (OHIO STATE) | 3 |
| BEAVER STADIUM (PENN STATE) | 3 |
| CAMP RANDALL STADIUM (WISCONSIN) | 1 |
The Shoe! Higher than I thought.
| SCHOOL | VOTES |
|---|---|
| MARYLAND | 6 |
| OHIO STATE | 2 |
| MICHIGAN | 2 |
| INDIANA | 1 |
| IOWA | 1 |
| RUTGERS | 1 |
I misread this poll at first and thought Michigan ran away with it. When I realized my error, I spent 20 minutes wondering if Maryland winning made it better or worse.
I decided it made it better.
TYVIS POWELL VIDEO. Tyvis Powell, the legendary father of Cardale Jones, left Ohio State this past offseason to pursue an NFL career.
GoPro Football documented Powell's journey from Ohio State to the NFL draft, and released two episodes on YouTube yesterday:
Highlights:
- I had no idea Powell struggled through childhood poverty. His always-up-beat persona now makes as much sense as his mindset of "never wanting to go back" driving him.
- I knew he ended up in Seattle, and the ending scene where the New York Jets and Seahawks blow up his phones post-draft made my palms sweat. I have a hard time deciding between three restaurants on a Friday. I would've thrown both phones against the wall if I faced a life-altering decision with ringtones blaring in my ear. Still, this was a much different scene than "NFL coach calls draftee," which we've seen 100,000 times.
I BELIEVE HIM. Ted Ginn is a lot like you and me in that he watches the Olympics and thinks, "I could wipe the floor with these dudes... if that's a thing I chose to do instead of leading a mundane suburban life."
The difference is Ginn was actually good.
From espn.com:
"My Nike deal would be great," Ginn said with a laugh when asked if he could have competed. "Just watching it on TV right now, I kind of get goosebumps on certain races ... like the 4x400, the 400, 200, 110. That gives me goosebumps, because a lot of them guys are No. 1 guys we raced in high school."
[...]
That doesn't mean Ginn doesn't sometimes fantasize about the time he beat Bolt, who is 16 months younger, in the 4x100 relays.
"He was the anchor, and I was the second leg," Ginn said. "I opened up and gave us that lead that he couldn't get back. So, you know, man, I've done run against the best of the best."
A hater might say, "Well, that's a bit different than beating Bolt heads-up." To which I would say, "Your words hold no power here."
I was there in 2004 when Ginn housed a third-quarter punt against Michigan. Nobody will ever be able to convince me wasn't the fastest human that will ever live on that day:
IMPRESSIVE MOTIVATION. I hope y'all are sitting down for this one. Mike D'Antoni — you know, the former Lakers coach and reigning Big Ten champion — is not getting the respect he deserves, and he's using that to fuel his team.
From freep.com:
“I think we’re even hungrier,” said [junior linebacker Jon] Reschke, from Birmingham Brother Rice. “We’re so disrespected. We’re not supposed to win the Big Ten — we’re never supposed to. What happened against Alabama last year wasn’t us, and we want to prove to everybody that’s never gonna happen again. We’ll never be embarrassed on a football field like that — we’re gonna be the team doing the embarrassing.”
Reschke over there trying to gaslight us, like we all didn't watch Alabama feast on their entrails in streaming high definition last winter.
CAMPUS REAL ESTATE NEWS YOU CRAVE. Long's Bookstore, a 15th and High establishment old timers recognize as a campus icon and new timers recognize as a great place to get hit up for spare change by able-bodied transients, is expected to get demolished this month.
High Street stalwart Long's Bookstore up next as demolition starts around Ohio State campus https://t.co/9YqCRiU2Kr pic.twitter.com/O2YGfQz0p5
— Tom Knox (@TomKnoxBiz1st) August 11, 2016
Let's hope it's replaced by an opulent annex of Mama's Pasta and Brew.
KEVIN'S OLYMPIC RUNDOWN. There were no Buckeyes competing in Rio yesterday, but Kayla Harrison of Middletown, Ohio dominated her way to a Judo gold medal. Today, long jumper Michael Hartfield is the lone Buckeye competing in Rio. He'll begin in qualifiers at 7:20 p.m. and you can with him live here.
THOSE WMDs. Green Beret thinks he can revolutionize NFL first-round bust-success rates... Doughboys... Cincinnati's ghost subway... The difference between "grammar" and "usage."
