Skull Session: Noah Brown Answers the Door, Camp Randall Delivers and Ohio State Losing in Beer Drinking

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Eat it, Ric Flair.

See the face of Jerry Emig, Urban Meyer's No. 1 swatter, in the photo (taken by Ohio State's Dana Lewin) above? That was my reaction to Camp Randall as soon as Tyquan Lewis ripped Alex Hornibrook to the FieldTurf.

Credit to the Badgers, though. At halftime, I talked myself into how Ohio State losing to a team running "Jazz sweeps" would be good, actually. But then I harkened back to Socrates' 2008 declaration:

"You're a first-half team! We're a fourth-quarter team!"

SOCRATES: I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing
DARRYL, SOCRATES' FRIEND: fuck him up socrates

— leon (@leyawn) April 8, 2015

As soon as the Buckeyes came out blazing in the second half, we all saw the writing on the wall. Even Wisconsin knew the drill when the chips came down.

Watch this video shot by our industrious beat writer, @EricSeger33. Not a single Ohio State player loses a one-on-one matchup. (Stick around for the Lee Corso cameo where it looks like he's running away from a bomb.)

Ohio State wins 30-23 in OT pic.twitter.com/BxXyE9IFGd

— Eric Seger (@EricSeger33) October 16, 2016

Paul Chryst and his large adult sons weren't built for the guerrilla warfare they tried to bring to Camp Randall Saturday night.

But don't take my word for it. Let Deacon Johnson testify: 

How bout that D LINE THO!

TALK TO EM @R2X_Rushmen1! pic.twitter.com/KK1fvP4sdr

— Ohio State Football (@OhioStateFB) October 16, 2016

Now Penn State wants to rise up off a bye? Nebraska is 6-0 and thinks it wants the smoke of a Top 10 matchup in the Shoe? Wild time in the Big Ten, folks.

A lot of teams think that SEC is the wave, but not me.

To me, the local man, my watch says the national title game is on Nov. 26th at high noon.

 GAME-TIME NOAH BROWN. People forget I was the first person to ever say Noah Brown would be good. When he pillaged Oklahoma for four touchdowns, I saw the prophecy vindicated. But when he disappeared the next two weeks, insidious rumors of ominous "off-the-field problems" swirled. 

But on the biggest stage of the season, they threw the fade to the 6-2 New Jerseyan. It paid off.

From dispatch.com:

Little came easy all night. Even on the overtime score, the Buckeyes had to overcome two penalties. But Curtis Samuel gained 11 yards on a pass from Barrett to set up Brown’s catch on third-and-2.

“J.T. put a great ball out there,” Brown said. “We decided to go with the fade. He put it back shoulder and I had to go get it.

“All game they were pressing. In the end zone, it’s easy to get behind them on press and J.T. threw a great ball.”

My plea as assistant to the offensive coordinator is the cut the rotation and accept that Noah Brown, Curtis Samuel, and Dontre Wilson are the best receivers, with Parris Campbell, Terry McLaurin and James Clark filling in the gaps.

All reps should be spent developing the Brown–Barrett repertoire. 

 MADISON: OKAY, SURE. The only negative report I heard from Camp Randall involved Ohio State fans rolling around Madison with the "jersey over hoodie" look.

Which, I'm not one of these "writers" that talks down on fans like we all don't watch the same game. The jersey over hoodie look is, dare I say it, iconic.

Madison is cold, and how else will people know I'm cheering for the good team, not the bad team? Wear what makes you comfortable is what I say.

But specific shoutout to Camp Randall and the Wisconsin fans that paid money to watch Ohio State gore their team. Despite knowing the ending, they brought the atmosphere—even a regal sound system piped in decibels too.

From 247sports.com:

[Three-star Wisconsin CB commit Faion] Hicks was one of four official visitors in town this weekend along with Top247 safety Jaylen Kelly-Powell, Rutgers running back commit Jonathan Taylor and cornerback commit Madison Cone. The 247Sports Crystal Ball was trending towards Wisconsin to flip the speedy Taylor coming into the visit, meanwhile the Badgers were looking to make a move for Kelly-Powell who is also high on places like Michigan, Nebraska and Oregon.

“It was very loud and exciting,” Kelly-Powell said. “It by far is the loudest stadium I've been in. Between the sound system and the fans, you could barely hear. The student section is very special.”

"Last night in Camp Randall was Electric!" Taylor said.

Wisconsin is legit, and I'm glad the Badgers didn't lose their Top 10 status. If Ohio State meets them in Indianapolis, I expect another banger.

But I will also be glad that banger won't be played in Camp Randall. That juju is real, and I can't decide which is worse: Randall's or Beaver Stadium's. Probably both.

 KINDA DISAPPOINTING. People who don't drink don't bother me. I admire them, actually. But for those of us stupid enough to imbibe, I'm wondering how 50,000 Minnesotans or 60,000 West Virginians can outpace 100,000+ Ohioans, no matter the wide variety of alcohol offered by competitors. 

From Tom Knox at bizjournals.com:

1. University of Texas at Austin: $1.1 million through two games (includes wine and liquor, but the university says most sales are from beer)

Sold: Since 2015

Stadium capacity: 100,119

2. University of Minnesota: $830,817.11 through four games (includes wine)

Sold: Since 2012

Stadium capacity: 50,805

3. West Virginia University: $582,240.50 through three games

Sold: Since 2011

Stadium capacity: 60,000

Texas at No. 1 is fine. Real estate is cheap and their football team sucks. Those numbers make sense. 

And I realize you need alcohol to get through a Minnesota or West Virginia season, but we need to fix these numbers by 2017. There's a direct correlation between alcohol sales and the intimidating aura of the stadium we all love to know.

Nebraska and Michigan are on the docket in due time, though, so hopefully these numbers are righted by the end of the year.

 PROPS TO FIGHT CLUB. As the assistant to the offensive coordinator, I advised Urban Meyer to go for it on fourth and three from Wisconsin's 14 late in the fourth quarter. But Meyer overruled the dipshit on the couch and called out Tyler Durbin, a walk-on who played soccer two years ago.

Durbin stroked the 31-yard field goal, as he had done all night.

From cleveland.com:

Saying Durbin, the Buckeyes walk-on kicker, saved the season is a stretch because all would not have been lost with a loss to Wisconsin on Saturday night. But Durbin was key in making sure that loss never happened.

He hit three field goals of 25, 40 and 31 yards against the Badgers. The final kick came with 3:57 left in the fourth quarter and helped Ohio State force overtime.

"I'm still trying to soak it in a little bit," Durbin said. "It was definitely an amazing atmosphere and really cool to kick out here."

We could sit here until Tuesday discussing the gritty heroes of the local team's big win in enemy territory, but my blogger points go to the walk-on kicker who took every point those try-hards on Wisconsin's defense offered him.

 PRYOR 4 HEISMAN. Can't wait to see how the Browns screw up re-signing their most talented player, the black Inspector Gadget:

The black inspector Gadget ! pic.twitter.com/ASrG9ic41p

— Terrelle Pryor SR (@TerrellePryor) October 15, 2016

At this rate, I'm going to need the Inspector officiating my wedding.

The Browns lost (as ordained by professional swindler Jimmy Haslam) but Pryor finished with nine receptions for 75 yards and two touchdowns—one of which he Mossed two Titans. 

It wasn't all gimmicks, either:

Terrelle Pryor does new things each week where I'm really amazed at how quickly he's converted to a legit stud WR.

— Matt Miller (@nfldraftscout) October 16, 2016

10-6 might still sneak the Browns into the playoffs. And nobody would want to play a hot Cleveland team with the black Inspector firing on all pistons.

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