Folks, I tried the thing where I wanted Michigan to beat Iowa. Yet, when Iowa had a chance to win the game on a last second field goal, my body wouldn't allow it.
I wanted Ohio State to be the one to humble Michigan (and its obnoxious fans), but Kirk Ferentz dumping Jim Harbaugh is the second-best scenario. Hand that man the next five Big Ten Coach of the Year trophies as far as I'm concerned.
It was bad for Ohio State, yet I can't stop laughing at this mgoblog.com comment from Ham (warning: cuss words ahead):
This game confirms something that I have been worried about since last year.
There are a stunning number of similarities between Jim Harbaugh and the coach that he succeeded.
Both had mirage first seasons that looked amazing at the end when really it was just extraordinary luck that prevented a team with talent from the previous coach having a lackluster season due to the current one. Brady had luck in games such as the Notre Dame home game and Harbaugh had tremendous luck not losing on the road to a shitty Minnesota and shitty Indiana team.
Really, in hindsight, if not for that extraordinary luck, Michigan would have went 7-5 last year. Not as stunning as our memory has revised it, huh? We got absolutely killed at home to Ohio State and got bailed out by playing an overrated Florida in our bowl game.
To start of this year, we had 7 home games and our only two road games were against teams who only reason any of them will have a B1G win this season is because they played each other earlier today. Sure, 9-0 and a #2 ranking in the AP poll looked impressive. Our recruiting class looked impressive. But it was all a fucking mirage. Like Hoke, we can beat nobodies at home, but once we go on the road, we absolutely suck. That's why Harbaugh almost lost - and should have lost - to a bad Minnesota and Indiana teams last year.
Michigan has better talent than Iowa. We are a better team. But the coaches absolutely fucked this team and the fans over. Smith couldn't run the ball all night, yet he had most of the carries. Ty Isaac had 1 fucking carry all night. The pitch never worked, but we kept doing it. Jabrill hasn't had a dominate game at offense since Rutgers, yet we kept trying it (his faux Heisman campaign has done so much damage to this team). Speight couldn't hit a pass over 15 yards all game, yet we kept trying it. An absolute clusterfuck of a performance. Despite all of this, however, we actually had the ball with less than 2 minutes to go and the lead. It was at this point that Harbaugh decided to pull of his trick of the night and revert right back into Bo - who never won a national title and lost countless big games because instead of putting away a team when he had the lead, he would go ultra conservative and let them stick around long enough to win the game at the end.
This is how Michigan lost when we were undefeated in 1985 at Iowa. I have heard the anger in my dad's voice when he describes how Bo cost Michigan so many games. Same with Lloyd. Harbaugh was supposed to be different. But deep in our own territory, he runs the ball with Smith, runs the ball with Jabrill, and then has Speight throw the ball dozens of yards down the field on the sideline - a low percentage throw even when Speight doesn't suck - and we got three-and-out again. A line drive shitty punt by Allen and a phantom face mask and our supposed awesome defense collapsing later, and we fucking lost to Iowa. At least Iowa was the number one team in the country in 1985. This team was 5 and fucking 4. And yet Harbaugh couldn't beat them.
Just like with Hoke, Harbaugh can't coach on the road. He can't beat inferior teams on the road. Like Hoke, his first season and a half were completely fradulent based on luck. Now we will get killed at Ohio State and once again dissolve into irrelevance - except for being made fun of nationally.
Maybe Harbaugh should - you know - instead of calling into radio shows to talk about Spongebob and instead of going to baseball games and instead of buying gimmicky glasses and instead of going to political rallies, maybe he should prepare for the next fucking game.
We have a coach who would rather be a celebrity than a coach. And it bit us in the ass tonight and will again in two weeks (hell, we'll probably lose next week, too).
I can't believe I actually cared about this team. What a fucking joke.
I don't care that the loss paved the way for "James Franklin, Big Ten champion." Penn State may still lose, and if it doesn't, there's no way ESPN will allow the committee to deny them an Alabama–Ohio State rematch if the Buckeyes finish 11-1.
Penn State can have the trophy, if that's the case. That's another week to get healthy and prepare for the playoffs.
ICYMI:
- Buckeyes No. 2 in latest AP Top 25.
- How OSU can make the CFP without a B1G title.
- These last two weeks were hectic.
I apologize for calling the Nov. 12th slate bad. I should've known better. College football, unlike the sorry-ass NFL, always produces. Please forgive me for my sins.
CURTIS SAMUEL 4 HEISMAN. As it stands, Lamar Jackson will win the 2016 Heisman. Which is fine, Jackson is a baller.
But now that Jabrill Peppers' Heisman campaign went up in flames like a meth lab overlorded by two high school dropouts, perhaps American can turn its attention to other candidates.
From cleveland.com:
He needs 363 rushing yards and 250 receiving yards to reach the 1,000-yard mark in each. Going off his per-carry and per-reception averages, Samuel would need around 45 carries and 19 receptions in the next three games.
That's 21 touches per game, which would be a major deviation from Ohio State's plan for Samuel.
[...]
And yet the plan for Samuel is 15 touches per game. They've only gone above that three times, and the number has only reached 20 once, when he had 22 in the season-opener against Bowling Green.
Yes, this probably means the staff blew Samuel's Heisman Homecoming by ignoring him (or letting defensive schemes take him out of the game) for large swaths of play in previous games.
But if the Heisman committee just looks at box scores, fine, don't invite Samuel. But if they watch games, they'll see what an integral cog Samuel is to Ohio State's success.
How many players can dominate a game with inside runs, outside runs, short passes, in the vertical game? I have more fingers on one hand than America has those kinds of players.
If the Heisman committee doesn't consider Samuel as one of the best ~five college football players, Ohio State should sell the Heismans in the WHAC to the Chinese for scrap metal.
That take may be too hot for some. Sorry to offend.
IT'S SLOBBERIN' TIME. The Slobs took heat after the loss to Penn State. I won't call anyone out, but many people in these parts called for Greg Studrawa to shuffle the deck.
Instead, the Slob Commander doubled down with his charges. The results since the Happy Valley fiasco are undeniable.
Granted, Maryland is bad, but the Slobs did what they should against inferior competition: Pummel them into the dirt.
From landgrantholyland.com:
The advanced rushing stats are honestly absurd, especially considering that this was a conference opponent: 70% rushing success rate and a 14% explosive rushing rate for the non-garbage time period I tracked (which was until J.T. got pulled). Mike Weber had a 58% success rate and four runs of 11+ yards, while Samuel had a 100% success rate, two explosive runs, and two rushing touchdowns on his four carries. That's absurd.
With that kind of efficiency, the offensive coaching staff could work on the trouble areas for more difficult matchups. And the passing game delivered with a performance that was slightly more efficient and definitely more explosive than last week's. Six different receivers had an explosive catch against Maryland.
We also noted the potential for Maryland's defensive front to get in Ohio State's backfield a few times -- they created two sacks and three tackles for loss, but J.T. had a ton of time in the pocket for most of the game.
This is good news for an offensive line-driven program. And all bad news for enemies of Ohio State who need to control both trenches to beat the Buckeyes.
Because if the Slobs are pushing weight like that, you're not beating Ohio State unless Everett Withers quits Texas State to take over the defense again. (Don't quote me, but I don't think that's happening.)
D'ANTONI ON DECK. My sources confirmed to me late Sunday night that Ohio State will play Michigan State in East Lansing on Saturday at 12 p.m. ET on ESPN. (Please cite me when aggregating this elsewhere.)
Looks like legendary Spartans coach (and former Ohio State defensive coordinator, in case you didn't know) Mike D'antoni already spilled gallons of lamb blood to fuel the Spartan weather machine:
@marion_ohio Early forecast in East Lansing next Saturday is 40 degrees, rain, 20-25 mph winds, because, of course it is....
— Wayne (@MankowaWayne) November 13, 2016
The Spartans, meanwhile, picked up their first win in two months on Saturday. (It was against Rutgers, but still.) MSU turned to the youth.
From 247sports.com:
With no Malik McDowell, the Spartans started three true freshmen on the defensive side of the ball. Two of them -- Josh King and Mike Panasiuk -- were on the line, joined up front by redshirt freshman Raequan Williams and third-year sophomoreRobert Bowers, who hadn't played in a game until this year. In the secondary, converted receiver Justin Layne made the third start of his freshman season at corner.
MSU's co-defensive coordinator and defensive backs coach said he and the staff saw all of those players working their way into the rotation, but he never would have anticipated them having to start. And yet -- even keeping in mind the Spartans were playing a team without a win in Big Ten play -- the young Michigan State defense delivered Saturday, pitching a 49-0 shutout against Rutgers.
"We talked about this being a starting point for us to build from and take the momentum into next year," Barnett said. "Let's finish these last three games out strong, and our guys started out right. So let's see if we can keep it going."
I have too much respect for D'antoni to treat this Michigan State game different from any other in the Meyer era. I don't care if Michigan State lost to Rutgers, D'antoni will be in the kitchen all week figuring out how to unbolt the sink and turn it into a foreign object for the upcoming brawl.
The good news is despite the Spartans record, they still took Ohio State's dreams last season. Last year in the aftermath, I saw a text from a prominent Silver Bullet starter saying he'd be "thinking about those guys all offseason."
That bill is due Nov. 19th.
HMMM. Ezekiel Elliott powered up against the vile Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday, but it didn't stop the ongoing investigation into his past actions.
From espn.com:
The NFL has been seeking information from the Aventura (Florida) Police Department regarding the February incident that involved Elliott and the same woman who accused him of domestic violence in July in Columbus, Ohio, according to one source.
A person in Elliott's camp said he recently was informed that, with the incidents in Florida and Ohio under investigation, the Cowboys running back is now viewed by NFL investigators as "Public Enemy No. 1."
The source said the NFL wants to make sure that there are zero mistakes the way there were in its investigation of former Ravens running back Ray Rice, and it is trying to be as thorough as possible.
Hard to envision a scenario where the NFL dumps this many resources into an investigation and doesn't get their man. Smoke, fire, and all that. But we'll see...
ANOTHER SWAG SALE. Ohio State held a surplus sale last year before the spring game. It resulted in memorabilia traders scumbags camping the spawn and walking off with as many Ohio State jerseys as their fat fingers could grip.
Ohio State will hold another sale from 9-11 a.m. this Saturday in the French Field House, and it appears they learned the lesson from last year.
From ohiostatebuckeyes.com:
All items will be sold on a first-come-first-served, in-person basis. Multiple item purchases are permitted, but select gear (i.e. football helmets, hockey helmets and sweaters) will be limited in number per person. There are no football jerseys or 1916 alternate uniform items for sale Saturday.
The noon away kick should help, but I can't wait to see how the scumbags circumvent the new regulations.
THOSE WMDs. "No vacancy" signs vanishing from America's highways... Best sports bettors of the future won't be human... NFLer saves 70% of salary, plans to double his income by investing... Man cuts off leg to keep running... Who gets the center armrests on a plane?
