Well, this is awkward.
I normally start my game days by ripping open an illicit FourLoko with my teeth and throwing my doughy carcass headfirst into the shower. After waking up clean albeit with a concussion, I saunter into the kitchen to type some shit about the local team's enemies.
It's a charmed life, usually. But the United States Army is complicating things.
I like the Black Knights. They're my favorite branch of the military. They'll one day be charged with protecting beta males like me.
Plus, no other country can defend the triple option. Let's just hope the Buckeyes can today.
Word of the Day: Venerable.
BLACK KNIGHT DOSSIER. Everything you need to know about this afternoon's opponents, the Army Black Knights:
- Preview
- Q&A
- Mailbag: Will Dwayne Haskins play against Army?
- Brian Rolle joined the Roundtable.
- Mic Check: Urban Meyer on "six equal receivers."
- Former defensive lineman and Army Ranger Joe Brown on what Ohio State can learn from the Army.
- Flashback to 1942 when Ohio State faced Fort Knox.
- Game poster
- Trailer
Be sure to follow 11W, Dan Hope, Andrew Lind, and James Grega on Twitter for updates live from the Horseshoe.
STILL IN THE FIGHT, TAKING PUNCHES. It will be good to see the local team back on the field. Hopefully it will be the soul-cleansing win we all need right now.
As bad as Ohio State looked against Oklahoma, I would have spit in your sarcastic face if you told me the Buckeyes would win the title after the Virginia Tech debacle.
From Bob Wojnowski of The Detroit News to Michigan fans on the Buckeyes not being dead yet:
You want to believe the Buckeyes are done. I know you do. I know how you think.
The moment you saw Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield stick a flag in the middle of Ohio State’s field, you thought of sad Urban Meyer chewing on cold pizza while contemplating whether he needs to spend more time with his family again. Hey, it’s a natural reaction, especially with the Buckeyes getting stomped in two of their last three games.
Listen. In case you haven’t noticed, tired old themes tend to repeat themselves over and over again in college football, much like the themes in this column. (Shut up.) And the sobering truth is, Buckeye fans won’t be sober until mid-December. The other sobering truth is, you can’t plant flags and bury teams too early, no matter how much fun it is.
I need that playoff rematch with Oklahoma.
WARLOCK ON CUPCAKES. Les Miles, as only he can, on preparing for ostensibly inferior opponent:
"I want the same exact approach."@CoachLesMiles talks about avoiding a letdown game when heavily favored in the latest #MoreWithLes: pic.twitter.com/IBYJkqX1kd
— Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) September 15, 2017
BUT WHAT IF THEY RUN THE TRIPLE OPTION, COACH?
#PERTINENTWIRE. IF OHIO STATE BEING GOOD IS A LIE, THEN WE FIGHT ON THAT LIE.
PROPHECY: 49-17, locals.
THOSE WMDs. Game of Thrones to shoot multiple endings to prevent spoilers... Robert Shyrigh cleans his stretch of the world... Scientists discover an underwater city full of gloomy octopuses... A toast to J.P. Donleavy... The girl gangs of El Salvador.
