Skull Session: Meyer and Franklin's Big Game Approach, Penn State Fans Fear a Fix, and Kaelin Picks Nitts

By D.J. Byrnes on October 27, 2017 at 4:59 am
Ezekiel Elliott leaps the October 27th 2017 Skull Session
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Best of luck tonight to the noble Piqua Indians against the vile Troy Trojans in Ohio's most-played rivalry game (63-63-6 since 1899).

The only respectable Trojan institution is La Fiesta. Coincidentally, it's run by people who aren't from Troy.

Otherwise, Troy is a fake ass county seat. When this great state makes the mistake of electing me governor in 2026, my first executive order will move the Miami County courthouse to Piqua, where it rightfully belongs after being stolen by shysters in 1806.

Troyians(???) ain't even got the heart for everyday community service, which is why they stay at home atop their blood money instead of fixing their out-of-control crime problem or volunteering.

Their city flag should be a crumpled Slim Jim wrapper.

Out-of-town businessmen are the pulse of their downtown, which is why Troy is the only city in America with a downtown more popping during a Wednesday lunch hour than Saturday night.

Legendary Piqua coach Bill Nees and his boys have something up their sleeve for the Trojans tonight. We're taking that all-time series lead, that share of the GWOC title, and that D-III playoff spot.

It's our birthright as the true football power in Miami County, as proven by our state title count. Troy is actually a bowling school.

ALSO TONIGHT: The 11W Friday Night Banger at BW3's on Lane Avenue. I'm temporarily lifting my boycott on this establishment in the name of charity and to prove to 11W readers I am real and not a collective of teenage contractors with an affinity for malt liquor.

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Schnorrer.

 MEYER KEEPS IT 100. Despite James Franklin having as many Big Ten titles as Urban Meyer, the Buckeyes will have the coaching edge Saturday, even if Meyer turtles and runs Barrett 150 times.

Penn State fans would assuredly agree despite the proof being in the trophy cases, but there's no denying the two approach big games differently.

From collegian.psu.edu:

Frankly, Meyer doesn’t hide the fact that some games just flat out mean more. And he doesn’t shy away from telling his team and the public that. Meyer has been very successful doing so. He’s won three national championships since 2006.

Franklin remains set on taking the contrary attitude. He hasn’t been at the peak of the profession for over a decade like Meyer, but his Penn State tenure is becoming more and more successful by the week. The Nittany Lions have been 1-0 for 16 of the last 17 weeks, while Meyer is 5-0 against the team up north during his tenure. He went 5-1 against the team out west while at Florida and 17-2 against all of the Gators’ rivals put together.

Is Penn State about to become “the team back east” in Meyer’s vocabulary? If the Nittany Lions remain a consistent threat, stay tuned.

Not much worse in college football than coaches that pretend every week is the same. Yeah, I get the "logic," but if anybody says the Maryland game means as much as Michigan, they're D.J. Durkin or high (or both).

But let's hope Franklin prepared for this game like his team is playing Akron.

Also, there is a better chance of Joe Pa rising from the pits of Hell than Meyer ever referring to Penn State as "the team back east." 

 THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. As a fan of the local team, you might be nervous about the No. 2 team coming to Columbus tomorrow. But don't fret, apparently the Big Ten put the fix in for the Buckeyes by assigning referee John O'Neill to the game.

Do you not know the names of individual Big Ten refs because you're not insane? Don't worry, there's a Penn State fan for that.

Apparently O'Neill reffed the 2014 game in Happy Valley, which Penn State only lost because of O'Neill's hate for the Nittany Lions.

Via 11W member Benwin:

The day I log into Twitter to whine about a referee crew, please smack the shit out of me. I will deserve it.

 SAY IT AIN'T SO, KATO. I was in 3rd grade during the infamous O.J. Simpson murder trial. Our teacher, who was convinced Kato Kaelin did the deed, stopped our education so our class could watch the verdict for some reason.

Fast forward 8,058 days. Mr. Kaelin is now predicting Penn State to topple our beloved local team.

From the evil genius Mike Treb of our sister site, Roar Lions Roar:

I am now convinced Kaelin is a double murderer. 

Also, I have no idea what in the fuck a Boscov's is, but I do know I will never spend a cent there for as long as I live.

But it's not all bad news, folks. Dickie V—last seen defending the sociopathic Rick Pitino—thinks the Buckeyes dump the Lions.

Don't worry, it gets better. Treb's investigation revealed an important fact: The nephew of 90's comedy icon Sinbad plays for the Buckeyes.

Who is this mystical soldier of fortune that shares blood with Sinbad? As revealed to me by @SamYewWell, it's Jordan Fuller—son of famous singer Cindy Minzelle and brother of Atlanta Falcons Devin Fuller. (Those family gatherings must be INSANE.)

We will get Sinbad on The Dubcast. This is my oath. And thanks to @Treblaw, who you should follow on Twitter, for stumbling upon these celestial bloodlines that will inevitably lead to a Buckeye victory.

I now tab Fuller for two interceptions tomorrow, with one being a Pick-6. Sober Johnny Manziel has only his own fans to blame. What a wild time to be alive.

 BRAXTON DID IT ON 'EM. Here's a mini-documentary on the greatest one-yard run in Big Ten history:

If you listen closely, you can hear Penn State fans howling about holding all the way from their Happy Valley hovels. John O'Neill must've been on the case that night.

 BET THE RENT. My bet the rent picks against Rutgers, Nebraska, and Penn State vs. Michigan have all been big banks. 

Go ahead and bet the rent on the Bucks, as fancy math prophesies they cover:

From Bill Connelly of sbnation.com:

No. 6 Ohio State (-6.5) 33, No. 2 Penn State 24

Also, bet on J.K. Dobbins outrushing Saquon Barkley. So it is written; so it is done.

 THOSE WMDs. Conspiracy theorists harass Vegas shooting victims... The murder that rocked an American brewing dynasty... Some schools in Puerto Rico reopen, making do without power... The uncanny resurrection of Dungeons & Dragons... L.A. Times' new chief plots changes.

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Ohio State Players Happy with Playing Noon Games: “We Like to Wake Up and Go Straight to the Field and Play”

Carnell Tate during Ohio State’s noon game vs. Nebraska

THE SITUATIONAL: Things We Cannot Say

Ohio State Buckeyes safety Lathan Ransom (8) celebrates with cornerback Jordan Hancock (7) after Ransom intercepted a pass in the second half at Ohio Stadium on Saturday, Nov. 9, 2024 in Columbus, Ohio.
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