I retired to my hovel in the Andes after putting this week's bowl slate in last Saturday's Skull Session. The local shaman attuned my mind, body and soul.
I'm ready to do the minimum this week to avoid the ire of my bosses before starting Christmas break Wednesday at 12:03 p.m.
ICYMI:
- Ryan Shazier attended Patriots-Steelers, became first person in history to look cool twirling a Terrible Towel.
- Ohio State prepares for first Early Signing Period, which starts Wednesday.
- Kelsey Mitchell and Sierra Calhoun combined for 51 points to down Cincinnati.
- Help put a life-size statue of Woody Hayes in his hometown of Newcomerstown, Ohio.
Word of the Day: Sommelier.
BAKER TO JUMP? Before the season, Jerome Baker seemed like a surefire first-round draft pick after a breakout sophomore season. Baker gave his performance a "D" on the year before raising it to a "C-" after the Big Ten championship.
Normally, that would give caution to a player looking to turn professional. But Baker is a different kind of athlete, even for a D-1 player.
From dispatch.com:
“I don’t worry about stuff like that,” Baker said. “It comes with the sport. You make decisions. Right now I’m worried about beating USC.”
Dane Brugler, senior draft analyst for NFLDraftScout.com, projects that Baker would be a second- or third-round pick.
“Would another year help him? Absolutely,” Brugler said. “But he has athleticism where he will test really well in pre-draft workouts.”
Players' education always concerns a certain bloc of fans this time of year. You know the type, willing to produce a 10-point PowerPoint as to why a player should stay in school.
If Baker wants to jump, an NFL team will assuredly see a winning formula in its coaching and Baker's athleticism. You might say, "Well, he should come back, shore up his draft stock, and make more money." He could also come back next year and hurt his stock further. He could rupture every ligament in his knee in the third quarter against Tulane an never be the same player again.
It's the type of decision that seems enviable (return to school for "free" or make a couple million dollars, at least) until you sit down and think about the ramifications. It's never as easy as it looks from afar, either.
LITTLE BEAR STILL HUNGRY. Speaking of NFL decisions, it's hilarious Nick Bosa has another season in Columbus. That dude has the quality to go against NFL defensive linemen right now. Woody Hayes only knows how he's going to look next year after another offseason under Mickey Marotti.
And when that time comes, he will only be focused on one thing: Winning a national championship on his way out the door.
From cleveland.com:
"I think I would," Bosa said Friday after Ohio State's practice. "But an extra year of development is really important. I think I'll be a lot more ready next year."
He doesn't have a choice anyway. The defensive end is a true sophomore and the rules say you can't turn pro until you're three years out of high school.
[...]
"Next year my class is ready to take over the leadership role. I think we're going to have a really good chance [to win a title]. I know the defense is going to be set. That's No. 1 on my want-to-do list."
Names from Bosa's 2016 recruiting class (descending in recruiting ranking): DE Jonathon Cooper, HB Demario McCall, WR Austin Mack, QB Dwayne Haskins, WR Ben Victor, OG Michael Jordan, and S Jordan Fuller.
Most of those fall on the defensive side of the ball. But if Bosa considers next year's defense "set," then so do I. It's championship or bust next year, folks.
DEATH TO SECRET SANTA. When you're spending your Christmas with friends, family, or the feral herd of cat that acts as both, remember the sacrifice of the local team, who will spend that time away from home in preparation for a bowl game in Texas.
From mydaytondailynews.com:
The Ohio State Buckeyes will spend Christmas together in Texas. It will be day three of their week-long stay before the Cotton Bowl.
Defensive end Jalyn Holmes plans to make it a special day. It will be the first Christmas away from home for many of the players. In recent years, the Buckeyes have left for bowl games until after the holiday.
“We’re going to do a little Secret Santa,” Holmes said Friday after practice at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center. “We’ll try to have some type of Christmas spirit down there in Dallas. I’ll probably wake up all the young dudes on Christmas morning. I’m going to do something. We’ve got to do something to enjoy each other.”
Can only imagine the high-rolling gifts laid down by a syndicate of Secret Santas on stipends.
Few things worse in Corporate America celebrations (or so my army of moles throughout the upper echelons tell me) than a Secret Santa party. Everybody sober, exchanging gifts for people I wouldn't even invite into my house. Somehow, you always end up with a bottle of Bath & Bodyworks hand sanitizer. Thanks, Cindy.
WHAT ARE THE CHARGES? UH, EVERYTHING. Ohio State has plenty of notorious scumbags littering its alumni rolls. None of that will stop me from saying, "What in the hell, O-Dog?"
From nbclosangeles.com:
Owen "O-Dog" Hanson, 36, was sentenced Friday to more than 21 years in federal prison and a lifetime of supervised release.
[...]
According to the government sentencing papers, Hanson's criminal activity began while he was a football player at the University of Southern California, where he sold recreational drugs and steroids to his teammates.
Hanson's organization, ODOG, trafficked thousands of kilograms of cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, MDMA, marijuana, anabolic steroids and Human Growth Hormone, court records show.
ODOG also operated an illegal gambling operation focused on sporting events. The organization used threats against its customers to force compliance.
Steroids... IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL AT A PLACE LIKE USC? I can hardly believe it, though I'm just glad I cheer for the clean program where that never happens.
And I've always wondered why people in too deep to their bookies don't just call the cops. They tend to be interested in guys running million-dollar gambling rings that threaten to murder or maim their customers.
BOWLER TURNED QB. And with the No. 1 overall pick of the 2018 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Luis Perez, a Texas A&M-Commerce quarterback that didn't play high school football.
From espn.com:
“He’s a guy who I think if he wanted to take up golf, it might take him six months, but he’d master it and frustrate everyone else,” said Texas A&M-Commerce offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach Jared May.
Such is the confidence for a player who didn’t even play quarterback until 2014, when he became the starter at Southwestern, a junior college in his hometown of Chula Vista, California. Three years later, Perez will try to deliver a Division II championship when the Texas A&M-Commerce Lions face off against West Florida in the title game on Dec. 16 (6:00 p.m. ET, ESPN2).
“I always wanted to be a quarterback. I had a vision of playing in the NFL and I knew I could do it,” said Perez. “But when I went to my last high school home game, I was upset being in the bleachers, watching my buddies play the game I love. That’s when I started making moves.”
I always love when people explain away the toil that went into perfecting their craft as something basic like "making a few moves."
Perez is the real deal, though. A primer from before the season:
There are people like this, too. I'm not one of them but I know a couple. My one Marionaire associate, Johnny Sheen, should be in the NBA. Instead he uses his mystical powers on practical things like Mario Kart 64, cornhole, and darts.
THOSE WMDs. The Pentagon's mysterious UFO program... Panthers "owner" Jerry Richardson paid multiple settlements for workplace misconduct... From 2012: Selling success, when the American Dream is downsized... Seven days of heroin in Cincinnati... The infamous case of Pam Hupp... Two Navy airmen and an object that accelerated like "nothing I've ever seen."
