Happy cusp-of-the-weekend everyone. I hope my fellow alumni had better luck with the football ticket pre-sale than I did. I imagine the reason I couldn't get a pair of tickets to the Wisconsin game was because you all snatched them up in anticipation for Eat Too, Brutus. If it were being held in early September instead, I can only assume that Akron or Toledo would be sold out already.
It's nearly the end of the first week of August, which signals that the start of fall camp is upon us. Freshmen report tomorrow, followed the next day by the upperclassmen. Practice begins on Monday. To borrow a phrase from members of the football team, Coach Fickell "shocked the world" and opened up access to the team, allowing the freshmen to make their media debut earlier than usual. That doesn't mean you can't engage in the annual ritual of ogling pictures of the players checking into Hyatt Place with an intensity normally reserved for, depending on your sexual preference, Mila Kunis, Alcide from True Blood or, for the Dean Peltons of the world, firehouse dogs.
Of course, it is not our intent to scrutinize these photos of mostly 18–22-year-olds in a creepy sort of way. We merely have to determine who's slimmed down, who's added muscle, and who will play the Kingsley Shacklebot role of the most intimidating presence. And just how well does offensive lineman Chris Carter carry 375 pounds, or as I like to refer to it, "half a Hoke"1? We also have to make sure that everyone is driving a beater car, with detailed records of how/when/where it was purchased, and no one can be wearing any apparel in the Band of Outsiders2 price range.
Lest we judge their looks too quickly, remember a young man whose physique screamed "walk-on kicker", but who would go on to become team MVP, and presumably, a future fan favorite of the Chicago Bears.
As Dick Hallorann would say, "some shine and some don't". I'm sure everyone has already seen that Ohio State is ranked 16th in the preseason coaches poll. That seems reasonable in as much as preseason polls can be because while this is a team with talent, it is one with several question marks, too. Five B1G teams were placed in the top 25, with Wisconsin (10th) and Nebraska (11th) leading the pack. Michigan State (17th) was right behind OSU, and Penn State somewhat curiously checked in at 25th. The "others receiving votes" included Northwestern, Iowa, and Michigan. The Big 12 also had five teams selected, while the SEC slacked off with only eight this year. For the optimists out there, this is the first time since 2002 that Ohio State did not rank in the preseason top 10. I think we all know how that turned out.
Coaches are not the only ones offering up preseason predictions. CFN has the Buckeyes at #21, declaring the offensive line and defensive line as strengths compared to the weaknesses at the quarterback position and in the secondary. As long as players can stay healthy this season, I'm much less concerned with the secondary than I am with the receiving corps, but my psychic abilities are a bit nebulous right now.
Matt Hinton, aka Dr. Saturday, submitted his Big Ten forecast, and with regard to the Scarlet and Gray, it is both frightening and reassuring:
Ohio State will shuffle between at least two quarterbacks and drop a pair of conference games over the first half of the season before deciding to stick with true freshman Braxton Miller during an Oct. 22 bye week. With a more manageable schedule down the stretch, Miller will restore some much-needed optimism by leading a 4-0 November, capped by the Buckeyes' eighth straight win over Michigan.
He also postulated that the NCAA would not add any more penalties, and as a result, Fickell would cede his new office to Urban Meyer. Huh, I don't think I've heard that theory before. Like BTN's Brent Yarina, Hinton sees Wisconsin and a defensive-minded Nebraska meeting in the inaugural B1G Championship Game.
WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. Starting in 2017, and for the first time since 1984, the Big Ten will switch to a nine-game conference schedule. Jim Delany doesn't care if the coaches were mostly against the move. It's the way the other conferences roll, and one of the early-season patsy games will give way to another B1G opponent. Since half the teams will have to play five conference games on the road one year (even-numbered years for Ohio State), that could change future schedules. The football program is the main reason OSU has a self-sufficient athletic department, and it would not be to their advantage to play six road games in a given year. But I think we can all get behind fewer Bowling Green-type matchups.
I'm half machine. I'm a monster.
Soothsaying is not just for football. Preseason basketball talk is also en vogue this week, with the Rivals staff projecting the two teams who will play for the national title. North Carolina is a consensus pick, and Jason King believes the Tar Heels will face off against our BB Bucks3. His rationale for betting on OSU? Team chemistry, along with the return of the awesome trifecta that is Sullinger, Buford, and Craft.
Eamonn Brennan, on the other hand, does not hazard any guesses about rankings, but he did write an excellent piece about how this year's team could be different, for better or for worse, from last year's. Citing a slimmer Sully with more of an all-around game and a less erratic Deshaun Thomas, Brennan thinks this Buckeye squad will try to play at a faster pace. I'm not sure Big Ten play will allow for that, but I like the promise of this team. Not hurting matters:
JJ Abrams approves of this number4. Before yesterday, there were 47 Buckeyes on NFL active rosters. Then Donte Whitner signed a two-year deal with San Francisco, where he joins Alex Boone, Thaddeus Gibson, Ted Ginn, and Larry Grant. That gives the 49ers and the St. Louis Rams the privilege of being the two most Buckeyed teams in the NFL. Unsurprisingly, Ohio State has more former players in the pros than any other B1G team.
In other NFL news, Tim Hightower getting traded has paved the way for Beanie Wells to be the starter for Arizona. I've always been a big Beanie fan, so I wish him a healthy and fumble-free season.
The linkage factor. An update on Austin Hatch...Springsteen's original, Courteney Cox-less "Dancing in the Dark" video...Speaking of awkward dancing...Headlines as seen by your grandparents...Breaking Bad iotacons...Any iPhone users need a hand?...The highest-grossing 4th of July beer...If you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?
- 1 Yes, taking shots at Hoke's weight may be cheap and easy, but that makes it appropriate for a resident of Ann Arbor. Besides, do you know how long we'll have to put up with tattoo jokes? FOREVER.
- 2 A clothing company popular with fashionable men in Hollywood, which I know thanks to my time-wasting habit of clicking random links and absorbing bits of information that are only useful for making references that no one else understands.
- 3 If this happens, I could actually handle the announcers discussing, ad nauseam as you know they would, the football scandals for each program.
- 4 I hope someone else gets this.
