The Bielugliness, for our displeasure Welcome to the Big Ten Recap: Week 5 and the Order of the Phoenix1. I have to be honest with you, readers. This is a rough assignment. Football and I are in a massive fight right now and he's sleeping on the couch while I passive-aggressively tell him nothing's wrong. But everything's wrong! Ohio State is whatever this is, Wisconsin is the football version of a douchey frat boy/serial killer, and Michigan is shutting out opponents. Sure, it was against Division III Minnesota, but still. So, whatevs, FB. Basketball will love me and treat me better!2
We have now entered conference action, and the weekend's results were pretty undesirable. Quite frankly, I would have rather watched a day of Dr. Pepper and Old Navy commercials while sitting on Bret Bielema's lap...
Okay, that was a really disgusting lie. I apologize for the imagery, and I now hate myself and am a little scared that a thought so disturbing came from the dark recesses of my mind3. Point is, this was not a fun day on the gridiron. Iowa spared its fans from football-induced tapeworm and had a bye week. Everyone else played or, in some cases that hit a little too close to home, "played". So, if you have the stomach for it, read on, oh brave creatures.
WISCONSIN 48, NEBRASKA 17
The highly-anticipated matchup between two top 10 teams, the first such contest Camp Randall had hosted since 1962, failed to live up to its hype with Wisconsin crushing the Cornhuskers in their B1G debut. Badger QB Russell Wilson, however, did not. The Heisman contender accounted for three touchdowns, two passing and one rushing. He completed 14/20 passes for 255 yards, which was actually below his season average coming into the game of nearly 76%. RB Montee Ball rushed for four TDs and 151 yards, hogging all the carries from his running mate James White (26 yards on 11 touches).
Nebraska began the game with an unusual quick start as Taylor Martinez led them down the field on two scoring drives. He ran for one TD, as did Rex Burkhead who ended up with 96 yards for the night. Down 14-7 in the second quarter, Wisconsin ripped off 20 straight points to take a 27-14 halftime lead. Two of those scores came after T-Magic picks. Nebraska kicker Brett Maher, almost automatic thus far in the season, was not immune to the black magic of Madison and missed his second field goal this year right before the half.
When the third quarter started, Wisconsin picked up right where they left off, immediately intercepting Martinez to set up Wilson's rushing TD. The Badgers ended up with an extremely balanced offensive attack, gaining 255 yards in the air and 231 on the ground. The other Big Ten teams are not fans of such stone-cold precision.
As Wisconsin takes this week off and awaits its next victim, Bucky's 5th Quarter would like everyone to note that "the Badgers are for real". While Husker Mike is disappointed, he admits that "credit has to go to Wisconsin". Nebraska's B1G home opener will be against a certain team that only gave up 10 points to Michigan State4.
ILLINOIS 38, NORTHWESTERN 35
The only exciting conference game this weekend saw Illinois squeak by Northwestern to claim the Land of Lincoln Trophy against their bitter rivals. With 13 seconds left in the game, Illini QB Nathan Scheelhaase ran in a 1-yard TD for the winning score. Just a minute before that, Northwestern had taken the lead on a John Jacob Schmidt TD. Illinois RB Jason Ford had fumbled the ball, and for the second time of the game, and the first two times all season, an opponent scored off a UI turnover.
More than vowels, Scheelhaase loves WR A.J. Jenkins, who caught 12 passes for a school record 268 yards. He was the recipient of all three of Scheelhaase's TD throws. The QB also had a career day (21/32, 391 yards) versus the woeful Wildcat secondary. Their run game was less impressive, totaling only 82 yards. However, Donovonn Young rushed for a TD in the back-and-forth 4th quarter that temporarily gave the Illini a 31-28 lead after they had been down 18.
For Northwestern, Dan Persa took the field for the first time all season, returning from an Achilles injury. He threw four TD passes, three to WR Jeremy Ebert, as the Wildcats took a 28-10 lead. In the fourth quarter, though, he removed himself from the game after he reaggrevated the injury. Fortunately, he should be good to go next week against Michigan.
After three consecutive games of three-point victories, A Lion Eye points out, "A team that could very easily be 2-3 right now is 5-0 because they dug deep and found a way to win." Lake The Posts, on the other hand, is still fuming about Illini LB Jonathan Brown kneeing NU's Patrick Ward in the crotch and is also trying to look on the bright side after the loss by commenting, "We’ve got a better team than the Buckeyes." Too bad it can't be proven on the field. Maybe?
PENN STATE 16, INDIANA 10
In the Leaders Division first intradivision matchup, Penn State defeated Indiana. Broadcast on ESPNU, often home to high school football games, the two teams played at about that level. Tied 3-3 at the half, Penn State scored 13 straight points, led by Matt McGloin, and held on for the win. McGloin (10/22, 204 yards) had the better day at QB for the Nittany Lions. He hit favorite target Derek Moye for a 74-yard TD in the third quarter. The red zone was a bit of a nightmare for Penn State, as starting QB Rob Bolden (6/14, 67 yards) was picked off at the 1-yard line and RB Silas Redd lost a fumble at the 2. Other than that miscue, he had a respectable game, gaining 129 yards.
| Legends | ||
|---|---|---|
| Michigan | 1-0 | 5-0 |
| Michigan State | 1-0 | 4-1 |
| Iowa | 0-0 | 3-1 |
| Nebraska | 0-1 | 4-1 |
| Northwestern | 0-1 | 2-2 |
| Minnesota | 0-1 | 1-4 |
| Leaders | ||
| Illinois | 1-0 | 5-0 |
| Wisconsin | 1-0 | 5-0 |
| Penn State | 1-0 | 4-1 |
| Purdue | 0-0 | 2-2 |
| Ohio State | 0-1 | 3-2 |
| Indiana | 0-1 | 1-4 |
Indiana struggled again to find its ground game against a stingy PSU defense. The Hoosiers tried to rely on QB Dusty Kiel, who was getting his first career start, and put up 22/45 passing on 184 yards with a touchdown and interception each. With just under four minutes left, he threw said touchdown, a 5-yard pass to TE Ted Bolser. On the last play, a Hail Mary attempt to Damarlo Belcher almost succeeded, but fell short.
Black Shoe Diaries can sum up the game in a sentence: "Solid defensive line play, and timely plays by the secondary kept Penn State in a game that Indiana truly did little to win."
MICHIGAN 58, MINNESOTA 0
In a contest between two Legends, Michigan blasted Minnesota to retain possession of the all-important Little Brown Jug. The cure for Denard Robinson's throwing problems? Minnesota. The cure for Denard carrying the ball 20+ times a game? Minnesota. The cure for a Michigan defense that hasn't pitched a shutout since 2007? Minnesota.
For once, Robinson recorded better numbers through the air (15/19, 169 yards, 2 TD) than on the ground, where he only toted the rock six times for 51 yards and a TD. He took most of the second half off as his backup Devin Gardner saw meaningful minutes5. In fact, Gardner was in on the second play of the game, lining up at QB in a wishbone formation with Shoelace as one of the running backs. It was one of several packages the UM offense debuted.
Meanwhile, the spectacularly named Fitzgerald Toussaint was the leading rusher for the Wolverines with 108 yards and a score. Vincent Smith, though, had the stat of the game for the Michigan offense: he ran, threw, and caught a TD, the first RB to do all three in a game since Clemson's C.J. Spiller in 2009. Maize and Go Blue feels good, saying, "While Minnesota is not the cream of the crop by any stretch Michigan still showed significant improvement."
Jerry Kill's crew ruined their scoring opportunities with penalties and turnovers. Dual threat QB MarQueis Gray did not play due to injury, so freshman Max Shortell notched his first collegiate start. He completed 11/22 passes for 104 yards and did not lead the Gophers into Michigan territory until the end of the third quarter. The Minnesota offense was 0-11 on third downs. This cannot be helping Kill's health or the well-being of any of their fans. In fact, The Daily Gopher implores everyone, "just don't think about Gopher football" today.
NOTRE DAME 38, PURDUE 10
The only out-of-conference6 matchup yesterday resulted in a Notre Dame victory over Purdue. The Boilermakers played two quarterbacks, and although starter Caleb TerBush (10/14, 101 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT) was more successful than Robert Marve (9/22, 91 yards), neither could accomplish much. With less than 30 seconds remaining in the game, TerBush connected with Antavian Edison for the lone Purdue TD. It was one of seven catches for Edison, who totaled 105 yards.
The Boilermaker defense gave up 551 yards to Notre Dame, including 191 rushing for Cierre Wood and 137 receiving for Michael Floyd. To make matters worse, Purdue was penalized 13 times for 118 yards. According to Boiled Sports, "It's a systemic problem at this point and it's not going to just magically vanish one day." Hammer & Rails says, "seeing how much we regressed with two weeks to prepare, I highly doubt that improvement is coming."
They kickoff their B1G play next week against Minnesota. I can't wait to recap that barnburner for you guys7. See you then!
- 1 Not because it's the fifth Harry Potter book, but because I cried more yesterday than I did when Sirius Black died.
- 2 Yes, I'm aware that I'm going to die alone. But Bielema actually found someone who agreed to get hitched to that? No comprendo.
- 3 If you send the white coats after me, I completely understand.
- 4 It's SOMETHING.
- 5 That means that either Brady Hoke listened to me about pulling Denard when the game was out of hand, or more likely, Hoke skipped the second half to hit up Red Lobster.
- 6 For now.
- 7 Blame/thank commentator Mr. Slick for all the footnotes today.
