Wednesday Skull Session

In the wake of the Johnny Footbal "scandal," can somebody please explain the fascination with autographs? I'd understand if we were talking about Julius Caesar's autograph on a millennias-old piece of papyrus, but who the hell cares about some football player scribbling his mark on some Chinese-manufactured replica helmet?

("Hey son," I'll never say to my never-to-exist Hell-spawn, "See this here?" *takes a picture of some footballer tackling another footballer carrying the magic diamond off the wall* "I once stood in line at a shitty mall in a Columbus suburb for three-and-a-half hours one dreary Sunday afternoon for this legendary football player to sign this laminated picture of him doing something muscular and cool.")

For me, it's hard to tell who is creepier: the scumbag autograph wranglers who stalk college students seeking their signatures or the people who pay actual money for said "memorabilia." I guess it would be the autograph wranglers, as they might be one of the lowest parasites sucking on the corroded veins of the NCAA's "amateurism" definition. (For example what do these wranglers get in return for snitching out a 20-year-old kid [whom they made a lot of money off] to a putz like Joe Schad?)

A quick jaunt around E-Bay shows Johnny Manziel most likely isn't the only college athlete with a side-hustle cottage industry built around his signature, but I don't understand anything about that industry, other than there is apparently a lot of money to be made in it. Whatever — people are idiots — that's not a groundbreaking revelation, I suppose. 

NOTES OF PRACTICE. Ohio State football is back, baby! Yesterday marked the third practice of the second year of Urban Meyer's golden reign, and our own Kyle Rowland was on the scene to break it down:

Three days into fall camp, Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer finally spoke to the media. But even he admitted there wasn’t much news. In the six minutes that Meyer answered questions, he beamed about Braxton Miller, Cameron Johnston and Dontre Wilson and bemoaned the linebackers and offensive line.

The hype surrounding Dontre Wilson has been growing since Braxton Miller raved about the freshman at Big Ten Media Days, and while Urban admitted he brings something the offense lacked last year — game-changing speed — he was short to crown him "the next Percy Harvin" as fans have been want to do since Urban arrived at Ohio State:

Fast Action Braxton, however, could be poised for one hell of a season:

... Meyer said Miller is a changed player. He raved about the quarterback’s leadership and communication with wide receivers, a marked improvement from last season. And that was a year that resulted in Miller winning the Chicago Tribune Silver Football for Big Ten player of the year.

Be afraid, tepid B1G defenses, be very, very afraid.

BILAS GOES IN ON THE NCAA SHOP. People either like Jay Bilas or hate him. Some people find his saber-rattling against the NCAA self-righteous, but I respect somebody clamoring for change when their salaries are tied to the status quo. It'd be much easier to grumble away in private than take his concerns public. Yesterday, however, the NCAA shop came into his focus and Bilas let both barrels buck:

Hmmm. So that's interesting, if also a tad hypocritical. Perhaps it was a mere coincidence?

Oh dear.

LOL. Okay, Jay, while that is pretty damn funny, I'm like 98% sure you made that one up.

Annnnnd, /scene. (But hey, this is an improvement from March, when Louisville and Adidas tried to capitalize on Kevin Ware's horrific injury. PROGRESS, or whatever.)

THE BIER STUBE: YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT.

HOME SLATE TICKET PRICES. Ticket prices are always an interesting thing to look at, because it gives you an idea how the public/ticket vendors see what banger-level each game is expected to provide. Here's a look at the 2013 home slate: 

• Buffalo. Tickets start at $98.
• San Diego State. Tickets start at $120.
• Florida A&M. Tickets start at $87.
• Wisconsin. Tickets start at $160.
• Iowa. Tickets start at $116.
• Penn State. Tickets start at $144.
• Indiana. Tickets start at $112.

*wipes brow* The fiends weren't lying when they told me the price on a brick went up. One hundred-and-twelve American dollars to get into the door to see Ohio State run roughshod over Indiana? Crikey, I think I'll stick to watching from home where a high definition television, a toilet and a refrigerator/grill/stove are 20 feet away from me at all times. 

OLD FRIENDS. Some good news concerning Jared Sullinger, who remains highly likeable despite being employed by the dastardly Boston Celtics and is coming back from a season-ending back injury:

Some not so good news concerning Nate Williams:

SAMMY SILVERMAN IS GOOD. Everybody knows Sammy Silverman, an Ohio State Athletics graphics designer, is good at his job. Sometimes it shows when programs like Florida release graphics that appear to have been crafted by a toddler learning MSPaint. Other times, it's when he releases images of his own doing that make for a pretty dope desktop wallpaper. (Click to enlarge.)

THOSE WMDs. Florida Man forms unholy alliance with Ohio Man; pair scams free flights on private jets... Idiot Frat Bro authors the worst email of all time... How is Vegas taking the Johnny Manziel controversy? (by OSU alumnus RJ Bell)...  The story behind the worst radio prank in history... How a convicted murderer prepares for a job interview... [My roommate's] business is giving away a free tailgate package for the Crew/Toronto FC game on August 17th or a fantasy football draft... Man who was wrongfully imprisoned for 25 years takes the stand against his wife's real killer... Pill crackdown opens door to heroin in Central Ohio... Scioto County authorities net biggest heroin seizure in county history... Hendrix at Woodstock this month in 1969... Wayne Rooney is a perfect fit for Chelsea... Joe Hamilton gets second chance at Georgia Tech... Surprise, surprise: Tyrann Mathieu is the best player at Cardinals camp... National Geographic robots meet Serengeti Lions...