My ex and I have a somewhat complicated past.

We separated in January 2021 (covid ruined our marriage), she moved out, refinanced the house in my name. It was "over" as far as I could tell. 

Come August she changed her mind and wanted to come home, I wanted her here, she moved back in.

We separated again this past March. It's amicable, we don't hate each other, just realized we're better off not in a romantic situation with one another.

What's complicated is that we have a seven year old son, and our childcare agreement makes sense (on paper), but the execution of it has been a mess, especially since school started.

I'm fortunate that I kind of had a template to go off of with my first wife and our son (he is 12), and my youngest son's mom was agreeable that they should have the same schedule here at my house so that they can spend as much time together as possible. This isn't a "half brother" situation. We have raised our boys that they are brothers, no questions asked, even if my oldest spends half the week at his mom's place.

So the schedule is that both of my boys are with me Sunday night, Monday night, Tuesday night. Then the cut off is basically Wednesday after school, and they're with their moms (in theory) Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Saturdays are all over the place, my oldest is usually having a sleep over somewhere so I don't keep him unless there is a specific event. 

Keep in mind, my youngest son's mom is an ER nurse, she does NOT have a set schedule, works 3 12s and week to week it's never the same 3 days.

With my youngest, his mom works every 3rd weekend, so every Saturday she works he is with me, no questions asked, and I also keep him a second Saturday so she can have a Saturday off that she isn't working.

The issue is that I'm also her "childcare" when she works. So for instance if she works on a Wednesday I do the school drop off at 8:30 like normal, but if she works, I pick him up at 15:00 and he's with me until she gets off work and can make it to my house to pick him up which is normally around 19:30.

The problem we have now is that our 50/50 parenting agreement (to be clear, not legally filed in court, we're just working off a verbal agreement and we're going to get it filed in the future) is not 50/50. I'm finding some weeks my son is with me up to 70% of the time.

In fact over an average of a 5 week period I tracked starting with his first full week of school he is with me on average 64% of the time to his mom who has him only 36% of the time.

Neither of us pays child support, we kind of just split his expenses down the middle and it's worked up to this point.

This 64/36 split has been happening now for about 2 months, and I'm about out of gas with it. I texted her this morning something to the affect of:

Good morning, I have concerns with the schedule, most notably the amount of time that Isaac is with me in my care vs. with you and in your care. Would you have time to sit down and discuss this and come up with strategies to get us back closer to our agreed 50/50 split?

She's not the most fond of communicating, especially if she has any inkling that she's about to be told she's in the wrong. To be clear, I'm not interested in pointing any fingers, she has a job, I get it... But I'm not her friend, I don't owe her favors and don't have any reason to allow her to take me for granted.

My simplest solution is not about money. I'm going to suggest since she works every 3rd Saturday and she and I can both count on her being off for 2 in a row after she works, I know longer do the extra Saturday and she keep my son every Saturday that she's not working.

I don't know, it still doesn't get us 50/50 but I feel good about at least having a couple days ahead of time on the calendar that I could actually plan to do some things because right now last Thursday was the last day I had where I had no parental responsibilities, and I can't identify my next one on the calendar until a week from tomorrow... I'm a tirelessly devoted father, but she's getting days on days with no parental responsibility (for instance if she's off work on a M-T those full entire days are hers because the boys are with me). I'm not saying the schedule or circumstance makes her a bad mom, it doesn't, she's a great mom.

But we agreed 50/50. And right now it's not even close, and she's going to have to make it right by me, and by our kid, who by the way did tell me this morning that he doesn't think he spends enough time with his mom.

Anyone on here deal with any similar co-parenting experiences?