The last few weeks have really been a kick in the feels (in a good way) and like usual, I just have to express it here too.
So for those of you that don’t follow the walk posts (SHAME ON YOU), Inlost my dad on July 9th. He hung around long enough for me to catch a train from Charleston, WV, for hospice to bring him home on the 8th around noon and by 11:15am or so on the 9th he was gone. I had checked on him not an hour and a half before, and fixed the tv in his room so he could watch stuff and he said “Aw thanks Bubba I appreciate it”. I asked him if he needed anything while I was up, or if he wanted me to go grab him a jamocha shake from Arby’s (his favorite) and he said “Naw bubba I’m good I appreciate it though I love you”. I said I love you back and said just holler if he needed anything or text me if he didn’t feel like trying to raise his voice. That was at 9:45am. I laid back down for a nap, and my sister woke me up later “I think he’s gone”
It still pains me that I didn’t spend more time talking with him. We were told “4-6 weeks” but closer to the low end by the docs, and he didn’t make it 24 hours being home. I had planned on sitting down and never did, and then he was gone. After mom and sister left the room I stood there and did my crying. I had to “tell him” some of what I wanted to say.
He’s a lot like me in that he found little to no value in himself. Thought he was a shitty dad (much like I still think of myself). I told him how he was nowhere near what he thought of himself. I told him without him being my dad and giving me the work ethic I have (mainly from working with him on a concrete crew and being held to a higher standard than any other newer or younger guy) I’d never have made it across the country. I wouldn’t be who I am. At this point I felt a cool breeze blow through the room. It wasn’t from his AC, he was always cold from being so thin. I just felt that it had to be him saying “I hear ya bubba but I gotta go”.
Once I picked the walk back up, with his ashes in my pendant I was always thinking of him.
I say this because this years IU game was the five year anniversary of the one game I could drag dad outta the house to see, against Wiscy in 2019.
On that anniversary, two of my lifelong best friends accompanied me to the IU game, we know the result. They knew my dad well and even attended his memorial service.
I didn’t make it to the UM game but when the playoffs rolled around, I felt like I had to go. Something told me to be there. So I bundled up, got a ticket in the student section (oops) and braved the frigid temperature, with dad with me in the pendant and watched us bounce Tennessees head off the ground. 1/1
I then said “I’ve always wanted to go to the rose bowl”…again I felt compelled by something other than just fandom to go. Bucket list item and whatnot. Bought a ticket, lucked into a cheap flight, and watched us take Oregon out back and Old Yeller them. 2/2
At this point dad and I were undefeated in the playoffs. I had to go to Dallas. I made the drive a year ago, where I met MGrable pregame. This year, i booked a greyhound. It was cheaper than flying and I didn’t care to sit on a bus, I’m not bougie. But the day before I left, hell not even 12 hours before I left the Nashville to Dallas portion was cancelled. So I did the next best logical thing. I grabbed a rental car.
I got up Wednesday night for work at 8pm, didn’t leave for work till 11 but third shift means your sleep begins and ends whenever. Worked all night, ran home for maybe a 2 hr nap, then got the car and drove to Springfield, Mo Thursday night just as the snowstorm hit. I had planned to avoid it. That’s why I went north. Instead I walked into my motel6 room (first one was INFESTED with roaches, second room was fine). But it was late. I saw the end of ND/PSU and passed out. I set my alarm for 3:30am. I knew I’d have to get moving early to make sure I had time to get to Dallas. I woke up to about 7 inches of snow on the ground. Cleared the car off and spent the first 70 miles or so on roads like this
The roads slowly improved as I moved west. Got to AT&T and MGrable’s tailgate around 3:45.
Headed into the game and we all know what happened. But at the end, after Sawyer took off, and then the kneel down, (and a million high fives around me), i stood there. I was surrounded by Buckeye fans, and yet I felt like I was standing there alone. I grabbed dad’s pendant and looked up. I stared at the ceiling of Jerry World and began to tear up. I said “we did it pap, we’re going to the natty.” Then I went down about twelve feet to embrace MGrable (lucked into tickets in his exact row) and we sung Carmen Ohio. It was the most fulfilling time this non alum (but I was there two quarters in 02/03 before transferring back to a D3 school to wrestle….so it still counts for me lol) had ever sung that song.
We were getting ready to leave and I saw a guy with an “Ohio Against the World” flag and asked if I could grab a pic with it.
Dad and I have been able to witness what’s probably been the best three game run outside of 2014 (could be argued it’s better). I don’t know how, but I have gotta find a way to Atlanta. I want him to see another Buckeye national championship.
Ohio Against the World. Always.
Love you Pap.
GO BUCKS!
(I also definitely did NOT tear up in the random restaurant in McAlester, Oklahoma I was in while typing this).
