Merry almost Christmas! In this time of cheer, you may be feeling a little low, a little sad about the fact that you aren't prepping for an inevitable Ohio State championship as they steamroll through the playoffs, instead awaiting an (ugh) Cotton Bowl against (double ugh) the USC Trojans.
Okay, that's a little melodramatic. The Cotton Bowl should be reasonably lit, and getting an opportunity to beat USC for the first time since the 1970s is not one anyone should want to miss. Plus, you know, the last chance you'll ever get to see J.T. Barrett in an Ohio State uniform and all that. Big things.
Still, if you're still feeling some tinge of disappointment, let me be your personal Ghost of Christmas Past and take you back to a memory of a December 29th where the Ohio State Buckeyes absolutely boatraced a hotshot coach and a program effectively playing a home game.
First, we need to set the stage. Ohio State's 2004 football season has a lot of importance to me personally, because it's the first year that I allowed myself to become unreasonably emotionally invested in a sports team not named the Cincinnati Reds. I was a sophomore at Ohio State, and something in the universe aligned correctly to give me, in some ways, everything that I could've possibly wanted in a football season.
Not in overall wins or national recognition, of course. The Buckeyes finished the regular season at a pretty weak 7-4, with losses against Northwestern, Wisconsin, Iowa, and Purdue. Keep in mind that this was 2004, so only one of those losses was truly embarrassing, but to even get to seven wins Ohio State had to rely heavily on the leg of Mike Nugent. Nugent, no joke, scored 31 of the 73 total points that Ohio State put on the board in their first three games of the season.
The Buckeyes won all of those games, but probably would've been 1-2 if Nugent hadn't hit on a clutch field goal against Marshall and made five field goals against North Carolina State. Enjoy all of the following 12 pixels that sum up the first half of the 2004 Ohio State football season.
I'll admit to thinking that's kind of awesome, in a really dumb way. It wasn't quite the zenith of Tresselball, but it was close and it was fun to watch... until the Buckeyes lost three straight and Justin Zwick couldn't complete a pass.
And that's why the second half of 2004 is so fun, because the emergence of Troy Smith and Ted Ginn totally transformed what Ohio State football would look like and be for the next several years: a team governed by a stoic, Midwestern offensive sensibility but with the talent to do super crazy stuff like this against Michigan (note: every football highlight video created prior to 2009 was legally required to include P.O.D.'s seminal classic "Boom" as its background music):
Troy Smith's magnum opus that season saw him gain over 400 yards of total offense as he led Ohio State to a massive upset win over the Wolverines, and even though the Buckeyes finished the year with only seven wins, it was clear that the team was on an upward trajectory with several ass-kicking stars who were beginning to emerge on the national scene. They were rewarded with a decent bowl in late December, and Jim Tressel and company were clearly eyeing it as a showcase for their players.
Oklahoma State was going in the opposite direction in 2004. Once a Big 12 also-ran, new-ish head coach Les Miles and offensive coordinator Mike Gundy had been able to transform the team into something a little more dynamic and interesting, particularly on offense, but going into the Alamo Bowl they had lost four of their last six games. They were still a legitimate threat in terms of scoring, but not generally enough to make up for a defense that functioned kind of like a broken colander as the season went on.
Then, a ray of hope for the Cowboys: Troy Smith got busted for accepting five hundred dollars from a booster, maybe the worst crime in college football history, and was suspended for the Alamo Bowl. Justin Zwick, who hadn't thrown a pass since the sixth game of the season, and hadn't completed more than 50% of his passes since the second game, was suddenly thrust into the starting role yet again.
Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for the Cowboys to take advantage of this setback for the Buckeyes.
Nope! Once the game finally got underway on the 29th, Oklahoma State immediately blew it. On their third offensive play of the game, quarterback Donovan Woods threw an interception to Bobby Carpenter, and three plays after that, Zwick hooked up with Anthony Gonzalez for a 7-0 lead. One Oklahoma State three and out later, combined with a crappy punt and a personal foul, and all of a sudden there's Mike Nugent again to kick a field goal and put the game out of reach, with approximately nine minutes left in the first quarter.
Here are some fun highlights of the whole game, but you really only need to know a few things about the 2004 Alamo Bowl to get an appreciation of how it went down.
First, Lydell Ross averaged over eight yards per carry. For those not well acquainted with Lydell, he's probably the worst multi-year starting running back in Ohio State history. He had 595 carries during his Buckeye career, good for 9th all time in Columbus, but ranks 19th in career rushing yards. Earlier that season, in the loss to Iowa, Ross had 10 carries for exactly zero yards. If this guy is dunking on your defense, things are going badly.
Second, the Cowboys didn't score a point until three minutes or so left in the game. Their drives went INT, punt, fumble, punt, punt, punt, missed FG, turnover on downs, punt, punt, rushing TD, punt, end of game. Donovan Woods was in a locked room all night, and the Silver Bullets got to him repeatedly.
Third, Ted Ginn doing some Ted Ginn shit. Lining up at quarterback for a rushing touchdown, leading everyone in receiving, being the game's offensive MVP, and you know what? Just put this on a loop for three hours:
Ohio State won comfortably, 33-7, and it turned out that December 29th really isn't a bad date to play a little postseason football after all. With the Cotton Bowl approaching, hopefully as fans we can take the same lessons from 2017 as we did from 2004.
