Mike Doss and Donnie Nickey were welcomed to college football with a big fat loss to the Miami Hurricanes.
The 1999 Buckeyes opened their schedule with a rare ass-kicking as they struggled to restock a generational team that graduated all of its leadership and had three stars taken in the NFL Draft's 1st round.
This sequel wore the exact same uniforms - but there was little else similar to what the program had put on the field a season earlier. The 1999 team looked more like 1988 than 1998.
Freshman Austin Moherman, as it turned out, was not Joe Germaine 2.0. Reggie Germany was not David Boston either. Nate Clements was not Antoine Winfield in 1999. Chris Kirk was not Andy Katzenmoyer. And Doss and Nickey were not Damon Moore and Gary Berry, and in their first game out of high school - they shouldn't have been expected to be, either.
Buried in history: Ohio State was actually leading the 1999 Kickoff Classic right up until the waning moments of the 1st half.
Reload, not rebuild is a bumper sticker. The 1999 team was a rebuild. So were the 2016 Buckeyes, which had to replace 15 starters who ended up on NFL rosters, most of whom left eligibility behind which created larger holes than graduating seniors do. It was the youngest team in college football and the freshmen on that Ohio State team finished their first semester of college with a big fat loss to the Clemson Tigers.
Freshman Binjimen Victor, as it turned out, was not Michael Thomas 2.0. Jordan Fuller wasn't Vonn Bell. Nick Bosa wasn't even Joey Bosa yet. Malik Harrison wasn't Darron Lee, and in their first seasons out of high school - they shouldn't have been expected to be, either.
Nickey and Doss were welcomed into college football by getting dragged around the Meadowlands, but finished their careers as captains who ended that same Miami program's 34-game winning streak en route to a BCS title. Victor, Fuller and Harrison now return to Glendale as seniors to rematch a Clemson program riding a 28-game streak of their own. The stakes aren't exactly the same, but they're pretty damn similar.
You already knew this, but time is a flat circle. Merry Christmas, let's get Situational!
THE EPOCH
Chase Young conducts TBDBITL in celebration after Ohio State routed Michigan last month in Ann Arbor. ©Rick Osentoski | USAT Sports
The playoff era has shown Alabama, Clemson, Oklahoma and Ohio State to be the pre-eminent football factories of this closing decade. This is the Buckeyes' third appearance, which is the fewest of that foursome. No other program in the country has more than one.
In the CFP era, reaching the playoff is the first goal and getting a New Year's Six game like the Buckeyes have reached in each of the past two seasons (Rose, Cotton) is the fallback - and anything outside of that range...yeah, that's going to feel like a total disaster compared to what we're used to.
During the BCS era it was a similar setup - get to the title game, end up in the BCS rotation as a fallback - or be thankful for extra bowl game practices and wonder how it all went wrong.
Look at how rare those disappointments have been for Ohio State since the BCS began in 1998.
| PROGRAM | BCS TITLE | BCS 6 | PLAYOFF | NY6 | TOTAL | LEFT OUT |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| OHIO STATE | 3 | 7 | 3 | 3 | 16 | 6 |
| oklahoma | 4 | 5 | 4 | 1 | 14 | 8 |
| ALABAMA | 3 | 3 | 5 | 0 | 11 | 11 |
| CLEMSON | 0 | 2 | 5 | 0 | 7 | 15 |
The Buckeyes missed every bit of the BCS party in 1999 (nothing) 2000 and 2001 (Outback) and 2004 (Alamo). They participated in the Taxslayer Bowl and swallowed a postseason ban during the self-nuke seasons of 2011 and 2012. Six out of 22 seasons.
Every single other year between 1998 when the BCS rotation initiated and the current season of CFP madness has featured the Buckeyes on those bright stages. Only Oklahoma has experienced anything close to Ohio State's level of consistency.
Clemson showed up in BCS games EXACTLY as often as Illinois and Cincinnati did.
Twenty-two years is an eternity in college football. Nothing demonstrates that better than looking at how today's bullies performed during the BCS era - this year's top seed LSU had as many BCS appearances as early 20th century powerhouse Michigan (5). Clemson showed up in BCS games as often as Illinois and Cincinnati did (2).
Old people will beg you to treasure this era because it won't last forever. They said the same thing when Jim Tressel arrived in Columbus and promptly sent Michigan fans scurrying to the sweet comfort of the US News and World Report college rankings. Maybe they're wrong. Maybe this will last forever.
And if for some reason it doesn't, we'll always have OSU synchronized swimming. That's forever.
THE 1980S SAX SOLO INTERMISSION
In 1987 A Very Special Christmas was released to benefit the Special Olympics.
A Very Special Christmas by Keith Haring
Run DMC was responsible for the eighth song on the album, an absolute banger you can hear by pressing play above. The album's artwork was designed by the incomparable late artist Keith Haring, whom I met and got to spend significant time with when I was in 4th grade.
Keith drew a picture of my name for me in his unmistakeable artistic style, complete with block letters and his dancing figures. For reasons unknown, I was allowed to be the guardian of that one-of-a-kind drawing and promptly lost it, because I was a 4th grader, an age where children are basically drunks without the benefit of alcohol consumption. Why are you disheveled and wearing only one shoe? Because I'm in 4th grade. How could you lose track of such a precious artifact? Because I'm in 4th grade. No one went to jail for this. I should probably go to jail for this.
Let's answer our two questions.
Is the soloist in this video actually playing the saxophone?
Earlier in the column we re-established that time is a flat circle. The reconstituted saxophone sounds blaring from Jam Master Jay's turntables on Christmas in Hollis are authentic; they were played by Andrew Love and Floyd Newman nearly 30 years earlier on Backdoor Santa (the original by Clarence Carter, not the unfortunate cover by Bon Jovi which - dramatic pause - can also be found on A Very Special Christmas). VERDICT: We'll allow it.
Does this saxophone solo slap?
It's Christmas, but these woodwinds are anything but tender and mild. VERDICT: Slaps when it bangs like a bowl full of jelly.
THE BOURBON
Cleveland Whiskey's Christmas Spice bourbon.
There is a bourbon for every situation. Sometimes the spirits and the events overlap, which means that where bourbon is concerned there can be more than one worthy choice.
Bourbon is a liquor for all seasons and holidays. On July 4th you can make Liber-Tea with it. If you're feeling patriotic or just happy to be alive, you can make Apple Pie bourbon. If you need some spice in your life, you can construct Homemade Fireball out of the whiskey and cinnamon candies of you choosing.
Bourbon is as flexible as you want it to be, and unlike vodka it's actually delightful by itself too. This is how the entire philosophy around Situational Bourbon was born. Your 4th grader's soccer game is being played in the rain and you're both feeling congested and anxious about your job? There's a bourbon for that. Made it to the latest Star Wars movie without taking in any spoilers? There's something brown and delicious for that too.
But today is Christmas. If your kid is playing organized soccer, you need to switch leagues. If you're stressed about work, take a day off from that and focus on self-care. Today is a day, regardless of personal religiosity, that demands reflection, spirituality and peace on earth. And bourbon, should you choose.
Pictured to the right is Cleveland Whiskey's Christmas edition, which according to the folks who distilled it is:
Different than a traditional bourbon but much more than just flavored whiskey, Christmas Bourbon® blends the taste and subtle aroma of holiday baking spices like nutmeg and cinnamon along with orange peel and sweet cherry before finishing with a touch of licorice and clove.
And I can confirm that is exactly what it tastes like - if you can get your hands on it. Christmas Bourbon tends to sell out very quickly; the retail price is in the $25 neighborhood and to my knowledge there's no arbitrage or hoarding happening, so it's a matter of locating it in October so you can enjoy it in December.
That begin said, Cleveland Whiskey has done some very cool things in this era of finishing casks by getting creative with their own aging processes - you don't need to get your hands on their Christmas edition to enjoy what they're doing. But if you need that merry flavor in your life during this week of reflection and spirituality, you can take matters into your own hands - it isn't difficult to replicate Christmas Whiskey.
Find a neutral first shelfer of your choosing - like Grand Dad, 4R, Bulleit or Turkey - and drop cloves, a dry orange peel, a cinnamon stick and a vanilla bean into the bottle. Let them hang out in there for 48 hours, and then pour yourself a glass through a strainer. Merry Christmas.
SAY SOMETHING NICE
Ohio State's 2018 season began with an off-the-field scandal, continued with a chronic inability to run the football or play competent defense, crested with its head coach holding his head between his knees during games like his skull was about to shatter in his hands...before coming to its natural conclusion - a win over Michigan, a B1G title, a vacation in Pasadena and a Rose Bowl ring.
Being a Buckeye fan is a charmed existence. When a 13-1 season feels...annoying...there's no other way to describe it. I was recently interviewed for a story in Slate called In College Football, Everything Is Great and No One Is Happy in which I described Ohio State's 2018 championship season as a lackluster, lost season for the Buckeyes.
I'm mad at myself for feeling that way but have been unsuccessful in convincing myself to feel otherwise. Did you see that defense? Remember what rushing was like? Dobbins is averaging almost two more yards per carry this season - behind a new line! Wins felt like losses. But, wins are still wins and 13-1 is the stuff fancy plaques are made of.
So yeah, being an Ohio State fan means you're charmed as hell.
The video atop this final section is comprised of 15 minutes of highlights that demonstrate just how remarkable the 2019 season has been through these 13 games. There's been nothing lackluster or lost about what this team has done, and I've spent considerable time trying to convince myself that it would not have been possible without the lost, championship season of 2018.
Buckeye wins in 2019 all felt like wins. This team's regular season was practically supernatural. Not sure where that's going to end up, but I'll get back to you soon.
Thank you for getting Situational today. Merry Christmas. Go Bucks. Beat Clemson.
