Ah, Cinco de Mayo, a holiday a lot of Americans think is Mexican Independence Day, but is used by a majority as an excuse to eat tacos and day drink.
Whatever happened to drinking breakfast and eating tacos for fuel simply because it was Tuesday and your job as an 18th-century, eight-year-old chimneysweep sucked? This didn't happen on my watch, folks.
But mark it down: The most boring friend in your circle is going to text you around 2:30 about going out "for a couple of drinks b/c it's Cinco de Mayo, man." What does that even mean, "go out for a couple of drinks"? Todd's phone should have autocorrected that to "pointless waste of time."
Just go home to your family, Todd from Middle Management. You're not built like that, and frankly, you're not even Mexican. Don't let those "couple of drinks" turn into tequila shooters, a DUI charge, no recollection of the $3,000 in pending Kahoots charges on your shared bank account, and a divorce.
DARRON LEE HIGHLIGHTS. Yesterday, I said I'd be shocked if Mike Thomas isn't taken in the first round next year, but Darron Lee is well on his way to that status as well.
A player's improvement from year to year isn't a given, but it'd be hard to justify a predicted step back for Lee after the quantum leap he took last season.
This may be too #hot #takey, but I'm going to let it fly: I love the Manimal's game, and I think he's the perfect "new-age" linebacker.
From 11Wer BGSUBucksFan, who gave us the video the internet needed:
I mean, what else more can you say that Lee's play hasn't already?
Lee doesn't just entertain me on the field, by the way. He's one of the best Tweeters on the team:
Overheard a dude saying that he and his boy should just lift harder so they could win some fight....I'm sorry what?
— Darron Lee (@DLeeMG8) May 4, 2015
Just cause you lift doesn't mean you can fight.
— Darron Lee (@DLeeMG8) May 4, 2015
I know guys who don't lift every single day or every other day...would still put bums to sleep.
— Darron Lee (@DLeeMG8) May 4, 2015
Here's right, too. That's why I just assume everybody over the age of 14 could whip my ass. No point in getting knocked out and ending up on World Star if somebody's not trying to burn down my mom's house.
LOOKING BACK ON DORAN GRANT. Because the world is a fake and fraudulent place... Doran Grant belongs to the Pittsburgh Steelers now. He'll likely blossom into an All-Pro while the Browns continue to trot out Justin Gilbert's charred corpse opposite of Joe Haden.
Grant to the NFL was a long time coming, though.
From Bill Greene of Scout.com:
MY FIRST MEETING: I first saw Doran Grant as a skinny high school freshman when he attended the Akron University camp in late June. At the time he probably weighed 160-pounds soaking wet, and had yet to play a game of varsity football. Even though he looked like a little kid competing against men, Grant had remarkable instincts in man coverage and showed off the raw skills that would later take him to Ohio State. Although he had zero technique and had not been coached at all, the little kid was fearless and locked up all of the potential seniors that were fighting for an Akron offer that day. What I loved about him was the fact that he could cover receivers, and he would battle bigger and stronger players to the death on every rep.
The Steelers, unlike Ohio's two "professional" clubs, have won a Super Bowl. What did they see in the Ohio State product?
From Bob Labriola of Steelers.com:
It began with the selection of Doran Grant on the fourth round, a cornerback from Ohio State portrayed in pre-draft publications as having second-round ability, who somehow was available to the Steelers with the 121st overall pick despite being a full-time starter and co-captain in 2014 with five interceptions – two of which came in the Big 10 Championship Game – for the national champion Buckeyes.
“At this point, I think it’s a very solid pick considering that he has the ability to stay close to the receivers, in the sense that he can keep up with them,” said [Steelers DB coach Carnell] Lake about Grant, who ran a 4.44 at the Combine. “He’s going to make tackles. He’s a very tough player, and he’s going to help out a lot on special teams because of that. I can’t really speak for other teams, but we had our eye on him early. He was someone we thought we could get around this time.”
A hard-nosed tackler with speed. Yeah, neither the Browns or the Bengals have need for a player like that, right?
Grant, for his part, doesn't seem concerned about his slide or being passed over by in-state teams:
Shoutout to LeBron! (Cavs will be fine, by the way.)
OSU OFFERS 2017's No. 1 SAFETY. Ohio State pulled the trigger on 2017's No. 1 safety, Grand Praire (TX) product Jeffrey Okudah.
Received an offer from the 2015 National Champs Ohio State! #GoBuckeyes #tOSU
— Jeffrey Okudah III (@TheJeffOkudah) May 4, 2015
After watching his highlight reel... I CAN SEE WHY HE'S SO HIGHLY REGARDED.
ARM YOURSELF WITH THE FACTS. It can be hard living outside Ohio as an Ohio State fan. Everybody — even fans of teams you never think about, like West Virginia — hates your team.
Facts are to trolls as salt is to slugs. Arm yourself:
So far this year, Ohio State has had 22 teams qualify for national post-season play, which is by my count the most in the country by far.
— Kevin Harrish (@Kevinish) May 4, 2015
To put that in prospective, Ohio State has had more teams qualify for the national post season than all but five programs even have teams.
— Kevin Harrish (@Kevinish) May 4, 2015
Need a more football-centric weapon?
Consecutive NFL Drafts w/ at least 3 player selections: 1) #OhioState 17 years 2) #LSU 15 3) #Oklahoma, #USC 13
— Dane Brugler (@dpbrugler) May 4, 2015
Ohio State is the only good school in the country.
NEWSOME TALKS INK. Before OSU castaways Verlon Reed (Lions) and Rod Smith (Seahawks) earned their cracks at the NFL, there was Jonathan Newsome.
Newsome finished his collegiate career (and starred) at Ball State. In 2014, the Colts made him a sixth-round pick. The Glenville alumnus finished his rookie campaign with 28 tackles, 6.5 sacks, and 3 forced fumbles. He'll be in the NFL for a while.
But because "Once a Buckeye always a Buckeye," and the fact Jonathan Newsome is an old friend of the site, I wanted to pass on this article about his labyrinth of tattoos.
From ColtsRoundUp.com:
Just as you read a book left to right, you can read Newsome’s story starting with his wrist. The tattoos follow a star path, starting with Grady Hospital, where he was born.
“The star then took its path and was raised in Cleveland, Ohio,” Newsome explains, pointing to the Cleveland skyline.
When he turns his arm over you will see his high school (Glenville), and both colleges he played at (Ohio State and Ball State).
Reading this excited me for the Harding Memorial/angelic Warren G. Harding sleeve I'm going to get when I hit a lick on the Mega Millions. Hell, what am I saying? I might do it with my next paycheck.
THOSE WMDs. The Best and Worst Places to Grow Up... Abandoned NYC... Pillars of Creation in 3D... Confessions of a Tabloid Extremist... How long until we're juicing the Shoe up like this?
