This week's SFW ANTI-WORK #BANGER:
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- Chapelle's Show: Charlie Murphy versus Prince.
- The extended interview of Rick James.
- The Bourne Identity: knife versus pen.
WOODY GETS ON URBAN'S LEVEL. When forced into a conversation with non-Ohio State fans, I often mention the university could fill a mid-sized Wal-Mart with all the items it branded over the years. Shot glasses? Check. Women's moccasins? Check. A snuggie? You're damn right.
While a man could subsist with those three items alone, Ohio State recently added another file to its trademarks: Wayne Woodrow Hayes.
From bizjournals.com:
Woody Hayes is being enshrined alongside Urban Meyer – in Ohio State University’s merchandising canon.
With the blessing of the late football coach’s family, the university has filed to trademark the name "Woody Hayes" to better protect its exclusive commercial licensing arrangement. The move comes 29 years after his death and 38 years since he last coached the Buckeyes.
“We have formalized the agreement with the family,” said Rick Van Brimmer, director of Ohio State’s trademark and licensing services. “We took the next step, which was going ahead and seeking the registration, just like we did with Urban.”
Not sure what's more shocking: Ohio State not having "Woody Hayes" trademarked or its legal department having the tact to get permission from the Hayes family. And while this certainly can be classified as "Ohio State doing what Ohio State does," it does mean t-shirt carpetbaggers can no longer (legally) profiteer on St. Hayes' name.
CHARGERS, CARDINALS HEAD EAST FOR CARDALE. An anonymous NFL scout (is there any other kind?) slandered Cardale Jones as "a poor man's JaMarcus Russell" on Thursday.
That's all in the meat-grinder that is the NFL draft process, as teams are making 1,600-mile trips to make last-minute talent evaluations.
From espn.com:
The San Diego Chargers and Arizona Cardinals are planning separate trips to Ohio in the next week to visit with the Buckeyes quarterback, according to Cleveland-area high school coach Ted Ginn Sr., who mentors Jones. Ginn Sr. will also meet with the teams in Cleveland about his former Glenville High School signal-caller.
I'll be ecstatic if Cardale lands in either spot. He could learn behind Philip "Walder Frey" Rivers or be sublimely deployed in Bruce Arians' 37-step-drop offense in Arizona.
MOST OVERLOOKED ASPECT OF OL PLAY. You know why all the cool cats call the internet the "Information Superhighway?" It's because it allows a doofy 6-1, 175-pound man to act like he knows what in the hell he's talking about when it comes to elite offensive line play.
From LeChuck Bentley of lbolineperformance.com:
Majority of offensive tackles are beat prior to the ball being snapped, simply because they are not square in their stance. Tackles have to operate more frequently in space. They also are going to face defenders that are extremely adept to closing that space very quickly. Here is where the “understanding of angles” needs to come in to play. Unfortunately, if you are lined up as an offensive tackle without your hips square to the line of scrimmage, what have you already loss? The answer, you’ve lost the ability to utilize angles to your benefit. Every defender is looking to play an edge. If your edge is already soft due to the fact you’ve lined up with your outside hip open, the defender has a built in advantage, on top of him being a much better athlete than you are.
Left: Door open; Right: Door closed.
This oversight is one that’s very easy to overlook. It’s a natural inclination to want to turn ourselves towards something that is in essence, attacking us. While we are processing a boatload of information prior to the snap and with these “hurry up” offenses, it’s easy to forget the most important aspect of offensive line play, getting in to a proper stance. If you just stand up right now and get in to your stance, there’s a very good chance you will be crooked. It’s not personal; it’s how we are built. You ever try doing a proper lunge without focusing on driving the back hip through? If you don’t focus on driving the back hip through, you end up breaking at the waist and dropping your shoulders forward. It’s the same deal in your stance. When one hip is in a flexed position (post leg), while the other is in extension (back leg), it’s common for the body to shift slightly to the hip that’s in a stronger position (post leg). This is why most offensive tackles find themselves twisted in their stance, and getting in to trouble. They lose their edge prior to the ball being snapped, because they didn’t “close the door”.
*Adjusts monocle* It's weird to realize a mauler like Taylor Decker plays the angles for much of the same reasons a 45-year-old man plays a backboard at the Y.
Pro tip: When next year's RT gets beat (sorry to the RT, but we all know ain't no way Happy Jamarco is getting beat) be sure to nod knowingly during the replay before telling your friends, "Ah yes, it's as I thought... he left the door open! Classic mistake!"
OHIO STATE GRAPHICS INDUSTRY COMPLEX STILL ROLLING. It's funny to watch other programs catch up to Ohio State with recruiting edits, but a quick glance into the game tells you the king is still the king.
Here's an edit sent to five-star 2017 Texas OLB Baron Browning. Unlike Michigan, Ohio State didn't have to go back to 2013 for a base graphic:
-H-- #Shhh pic.twitter.com/vuTdy1QWsn
— Baron Browning (@baronbrwnng) April 21, 2016
And here's one sent to five-star 2017 Mississippi RB Cam Akers:
#GoBuckeyes pic.twitter.com/iajIcZvc7I
— Cam akers (@thereal_cam3) April 21, 2016
I assume neither player will be asked to grayshirt if they pull the trigger on the Buckeyes.
A 21 LOKO SALUTE TO TACO HUT. Twitter is awesome because it delivers up-to-the-second news updates to your phone. Twitter sucks because it delivers up-to-the-second news updates to your phone.
goodnight old friend pic.twitter.com/L1DoaB5uSw
— Brandon Edwards (@EdwardsOhio) April 21, 2016
My life spiraled out of control a couple years back to the point I thought a Taco Bell breakfast would cure an earth-shattering hangover (spoiler: it didn't). That eternal shame still isn't enough to strip me of of the nostalgia that washes over me when I reflect upon all the drunken meals I enjoyed in those cozy walls when it was a Taco Bell and Pizza Hut joint production. I'm surprised it didn't end in indictment.
As for what will replace it—well, you might want to be sitting down for this as it's a complete shocker.
A six-story building that looks like it was designed by a freshman architecture student! This is will be a rare, one of 600,000 minting in the Columbus area.
I'm giddy just thinking of making my mediocre son jealous with tales of the baller ass join where you could purchase pizza and tacos before reminding him it's a good thing he's never getting into Ohio State anyway because all that is cool is now dead. (I swear this has nothing to do with me getting older either.)
THOSE WMDs. The world was this teacher yesterday... The killer hiding in the CDC map... The NCAA isn't going broke, no matter how much you hear it... A thousand pounds of dynamite... Travel tips from sportswriters... The Browns are underdogs in every game this year.
