We done did it, folks. We survived to Friday.
What's everybody's game plan tonight? I plan on blacking out at my boss' housewarming party and committing arson. (Wouldn't be a housewarming party without an uncontrollable blaze, now would it?)
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- The Shield: The greatest Vic Mackey quotes.
- Gladiator: Are you not entertained?
- Peaky Blinders: Alfie Solomon apologizes to Arthur Shelby.
LET'S SEE SOME I.D., SIR. Saquon Barkley rolled into Columbus in 2015, toted the rock 26 times for 194 yards (7.5 yards per gash) and left with 10 points and a 28-point loss.
Urban Meyer praised Barkley throughout the week, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. He's a player almost too electric to play for Penn State.
He is, however, still human.
From theozone.net:
A Second Team All-Big 10 performer in 2015, Barkley has been named to nearly every preseason award watchlist entering the 2016 season. Barkley is currently 4th in the Big 10 in rushing yards with 582, along with 8 touchdowns. A thick frame with an athletic build, Barkley possesses very good overall athletic ability. He has the speed and quickness to be effective outside the tackles and the power and lateral agility to maneuver between the tackles. Barkley is an every-down back as he is utilized in the passing game, primarily as a check down option, but has shown effectiveness off the wheel route. Barkley is adequate in pass blocking as he doesn't fully use his size and strength to engage the defender. Barkley will be effective against the Buckeyes if the linebackers cannot shed blockers to fill the gaps or flow to the outside. Baker and Worley will be tested in coverage on Saturday night.
When I run for President of the United States in 2028, my first executive order will make it a Class A felony to run the wheel route against Ohio State. This is my oath to the streets.
Sorry to everyone foolish enough to not cheer for the local team, but them the breaks.
My impending presidency won't save the Silver Bullets on Saturday night in the Valley. This may surprise some people, but I still tab the Bullets to corral Barkley and make Trace McSorley beat them.
I didn't see Alex Hornibrook beating Ohio State, and I don't see McSorley pulling it off, either.
THAT RED ZONE PERFORMANCE, THOUGH. Urban Meyer explained earlier this week he played for overtime in Madison because of his defense's dominance in the red zone.
Though the offense isn't as ruthless in the red zone as the defense, it's still coming away with more touchdowns than field goals.
From dispatch.com:
Heading into this week’s game at Penn State, the Buckeyes offense has been solid punching the ball in from inside their opponents’ 20. Ohio State has scored touchdowns on 24 of 35 trips (68.6 percent)
“When we’ve needed to punch it in, we have,” offensive coordinator Ed Warinner said. “We’ve had to kick a few field goals down there … but I think our efficiency down there is pretty good.”
But Ohio State’s defense in the red zone has been peerless. Wisconsin’s overtime possession was the 12th in 16 trips into Ohio State red zone that opponents have not scored touchdown, by far the stingiest rate in the country. Even factoring in six field goals inside the red zone, the Buckeyes opponents have scored only 62.5 percent of the time, also the best in the country.
If both units continue their red zone dominance, it's going to be tough to beat Ohio State without explosive plays. Wisconsin got some of those through the ground, but I don't see any quarterback going deep regularly on this secondary.
HOW PENN STATE WINS. BREAKING NEWS: I tab the local team to go to Happy Valley and win the big game Saturday night.
But there's no denying Penn State, like Wisconsin, is a different animal when prowling its home turf.
What would it take for Penn State to pull off its biggest win since somehow holding Troy Smith, Santonio Holmes, Ted Ginn, and Antonio Pittman to 10 points in 2005?
From mcall.com:
1. Big shots. Ohio State coach Urban Meyer expects a big game from Penn State's Saquon Barkley, whom Meyer called among the nation's top-three backs. Where the Lions can really press Ohio State, though, is by throwing the long ball.
[...]
2. Defensive tackling. Linebacker Brandon Smith said defensive players did angle and form drills last week to improve their tackling, which Franklin has called inconsistent all season.
[...]
3. Offensive tackles. Penn State's appears ready to shuffle its tackles with the experienced Andrew Nelson out for the season. Brendan Mahon, who has been quite good lately at left tackle, will move to the right side, with Paris Palmer manning the left.
- Good luck throwing deep. Seriously, good luck. You're going to need it.
- Midseason angle drills sound like a band-aid, not a cure.
- Shuffling tackles sounds like a disaster against Tyquan Lewis, Sam Hubbard, Jalyn Holmes, and Nick Bosa.
So yeah, feel good Penn State fans! Sounds like your team has a fightin' chance.
J.K. SIMMONS IS A REAL ONE. Sorry, Robert de Niro, you're no longer my favorite actor. My loyalties now belong to J.K. Simmons.
Via @GoBucks2204/@ramzy:
Check out J.K. Simmons do his best Al Pacino pic.twitter.com/tm46CuWRVg
— Garbage Time (@GarbageTime) October 20, 2016
I don't have any money in the bank, but I'll live that homeless life—starting tomorrow—for 10 years if it means Michigan never winning a national title.
COLUMBUS: NO. 1, BABY! (KINDA.) How many more articles about glorious Columbus do y'all out-of-staters need to read before returning to the Discovery City?
Maybe this one will get you to call your real estate agent to list your house.
From dispatch.com:
A new, first-of-its-kind survey out Wednesday from research firm J.D. Power seems to prove that point. Among the 50 cities studied, Columbus placed first in the Midwest for visitor satisfaction and in the top 10 overall.
Columbus scored particularly well in the categories of food and beverage, cost/fees and infrastructure.
Kansas City and Indianapolis ranked second and third in the Midwest, followed by Chicago and Cincinnati.
Columbus' overall score of 799 out of 1,000 points gave it the seventh-highest score among the 50 cities ranked. Las Vegas topped the overall list, followed by Austin and Orlando.
ORLANDO? LAS VEGAS? Okay, we're going to ignore that part and focus on the important aspects: Columbus' delectable fare, cheap drinks, and infrastructure.
Those three things will propel Columbus past Orlando and Sin City by Summer 2017 at the latest.
THOSE WMDs. A date, a creep, and a bar's heroic staff... Man sought following theft of venetian blind... The patients hurt by Theranos... Stupid encryption mistakes criminals make... The changes of Appalachia... What happened to Eastern Airlines Flight 980?
