Bear with me, folks, the #online boy has logged on.
After weeks of deluding myself into telepathic predictions of the groupthink of 13 strangers twice my age, I'm disappointed the playoff committee didn't punish soft scheduling like Mercer a week before Rivalry Week.
If Auburn losing by 21 to Georgia in the SEC championship somehow elevates Alabama from "very little separation" to "unequivocally better" while the Tide remains idle as Ohio State defeats an undefeated No. 4 team for a conference championship, why the Hell would anybody play a respectable opponent a week before rivalry week—or anytime outside of conference play?
I hope both SEC squads get clown-suited in the playoffs. If that means riding with Baker Mayfield and a dude named Dabo, that's fine. I won't watch a minute of it as required by my Buckeye Creed, but I will smirk knowingly at my phone while vacationing in the Caribbean (last part may be fantastical).
The Visage of Death [Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports]
I'm not mad. The season ends two weeks early, and Ohio State plays on the 29th! I've been looking forward to a breather since August.
Plus it's hard to be upset about Alabama drifting on a decade of reputation when you remember Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeyes dumped the Bucks by 31 points in Iowa City.
Ferentz's large adult son, who orchestrated 10 points the week prior against Northwestern, dropped a double nickel on our team!
I need a 20,000-word oral history, a 30 for 30, or another piece of transcend media on that nightmare in Kinnick. It's more befuddling than the 2015 loss to Michigan State, and will only grow fuddlier (new word) with time.
The worst part is Ohio State doesn't play Iowa until 2020, because we all know it's not like Iowa will get to Indianapolis to play the traditional Big Ten West's role in the annual sacrifice to next year's corn crop.
That said, I don't normally believe in conference pride during bowl season. I usually hope every non-Ohio State team loses every game. But this year, I hope the conference goes undefeated after the committee shunned it.
ICYMI:
- CFP Committee message: Fewer losses > better wins.
- Urban Meyer wants to make sure seniors go out with a win in the Cotton Bowl.
- USC's Clay Helton excited to face Ohio State.
- Buckeyes (-6) vs. Trojans.
- Big Ten bowl destinations.
- Debriefing: Everything to know about Ohio State's win over Wisconsin.
- Help put a life-size statue of Woody Hayes in his hometown of Newcomerstown, Ohio.
Word of the Day: Barbudos.
O! CAPTAIN. Well, it happened. J.T. Barrett underwent arthroscopic knee surgery Sunday and started six days later. Barrett said yesterday the average recovery time is 3-4 weeks on that procedure.
He didn't statistically dominate, but he did enough to will his team to victory, including a pivotal fourth-down rush that initially appeared to be stonewalled behind the line of scrimmage.
From buckeyextra.com:
“I mostly was throwing the football; didn’t run at all,” he explained, adding that the lack of practice reps threw off his timing with receivers against Wisconsin.
But despite what coach Urban Meyer said were “missthrows where guys were wide open,” having the three-year captain in the huddle still had a powerful effect on the Buckeyes, who circle the wagons whenever outsiders take critical aim at their leader.
“He’s earned the respect of players, and that’s the most important respect you can have,” said Meyer, who summed up his feelings for his quarterback.
It's pointless, but it won't stop me from wondering what might have been if Barrett hadn't missed those open receivers or thrown a Brandon Weedenesque pick-six to Van Ginkel.
Because if we're being honest, Ohio State should've won that game by more than 28. They were that much better than the Badgers on Saturday.
Instead, the Bucks surrendered 18 points off rudimentary turnovers and left two or three touchdowns on the board.
Such is the heartbreak of sports. (And we continue to care, because our brains are healthy and normal.)
WHO HAS IT WORSE THAN US? Michigan fans, for one. The way they acted on social media yesterday, it's clear the snub was their biggest Rivalry win of this millennium.
What a pathetic existence they must lead, where they take more pride in a playoff snub than an invite to America's premiere appetizer squabble? How quickly they forget their program used to sit at home during bowl season.
No. 2: Ol' Jimbo Fisher, who, after signing a contract for $75 million with Texas A&M must now live in College Station, Texas:
Jimbo Fishers trumpeted arrival to College Station: pic.twitter.com/GUmttygt2R
— Brent Zwerneman (@BrentZwerneman) December 3, 2017
There are abandoned malls more scenic than that. $75 million probably never felt as small as it did than when that private jet door dropped open for the first time. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
The last spot belongs to the Turnover Chain, which didn't even make it to a Charlotte pawn shop:
Clemson said RIP to the turnover chain pic.twitter.com/6NKCrW6KCO
— Football Is Life (@FootbaIl_Tweets) December 3, 2017
Confession, after seeing highlights from the ACC championship, I wasn't foaming at the mouth for a rematch with the Tigers. Oklahoma and Clemson are a cut above this year.
THOSE WMDs. Secret to long life may lurk in DNA... Central Ohio students play Capture the Flag in cyber security games... I didn't know... The dog... Our own little war.
