Just a reminder: we're now living in a world where Joe Bauserman is ranked 3rd in the country in passer efficiency. Although, with the beard, Bauserman wouldn't look out of place on a commercial fishing boat; so I guess I'm feeling better about the HEISurman era.
Also, my source say, in the real world there is some sort of holiday today. So everybody be sure to tweet about something solemn today.
DANE SANZENBACHER IS A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER. As NFL teams cull their rosters down to 53 players, Sanzenbacher has made the final cut--to the surprise of nobody who has ever seen him play. (I'm still trying to figure out why the Browns didn't use a 7th round draft pick on him). In other news on Buckeyes trying to make it in the league: former longsnapper Jake McQuaide is now a Ram. Brandon Saine signed with Packers' practice squad. Justin Boren signed with Baltimore's practice squad. Dexter Larrimore was cut by the Saints. Bryant Browning was cut by the Panthers. Devon Torrence and Ross Homan (6th rounder) were both cut by the Vikings.
VULTURES CONTINUE TO CIRCLE THE BIG 12. T. Boone Pickens, one of the bigger boss hoggs known to roam these streets, is the latest to forecast the death of the Big 12. He also appears to have a bit of a bone to pick with Texas, over their "insistence" on creating the Longhorn Network, which he says was the straw that broke the Big 12's back. While he does think adding somebody like TCU could save the conference, Pickens seemed to insinuate that "heading west" was the move. Ominous words issued by Oklahoma State's bank account.
A view from Dan Beebe's office
THE BUCKEYES WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES SNATCHING FOLKS' CHAINS IN THE SHOE. My "friend" offered me two tickets to the Akron game for $100. I almost punched him in the face. You couldn't pay me to attend a Ohio State opener. Not just because the games are generally over by half time, the draconian partying rules, or because it's a cell-phone service abyss, but because it always seems to be about 105 degrees in the Shoe at kickoff. This Saturday was no exception. Paramedics made over 70 runs to Ohio Stadium. The Red Cross treated hundreds of people. A referee and a line judge had to leave the game related to heat issues. Uh... yeah... I'll take the air conditioner, the plasma TV, and my own bathroom. (If you went to the game, Luke Fickell would like to personally thank you).
NORTH CAROLINA'S GIRL SOCCER TEAM IS BETTER THAN OHIO STATE'S GIRL SOCCER TEAM. The women's soccer team got dumped by #1 North Carolina yesterday. UNCer Kealia Ohai allegedly had a wundergoal, which I would link to on Youtube, you know, if people were still pretending they cared about women's soccer and were doing that kind of thing.
AL GOLDEN DOESN'T THINK VERY HIGHLY OF NEVIN SHAPIRO. "Scumbag" was the phrase Miami's coach used in describing Shapiro. In his diatribe, Golden actually raised a very good point. Shapiro was able to con affluent, educated folks out of nearly a billion dollars. Given his manipulative talents, how are we surprised that kids (who come from a slightly different "socio-economic" background) couldn't turn down $175?
If you follow the media, you're well aware, in the last two weeks, Tommy Craggs/Jason Whitlock have been running a train on Charles Robinson with a steady stream of facts and logic over Charles' piece on The U. Others are starting to join in too. It's still going to take more than hotel sex parties with prostitutes (where nobody ever did any drugs at all, LOL) to get me fired up. The only shame the U should accrue from this is the fact they never won anything when they were "cheating".
A LOSS TO USF HAS TANKED THE NOTRE DAME TICKET MARKET. Well, another year has come with Notre Dame ranked about 63 spots too high. Before the opening day loss, the cheapest ticket on the fifty yard line for the Michigan-Notre Dame "clash" was $759. Now, they're under $500, according to Darren Rovell's Ego's Twitter feed. I can't wait until here in 30 years, when all Notre Dame fans are dead, and their sustained mediocrity finally costs them their NBC contract. Although, I must say, waking up Saturday is going to feel good knowing Notre Dame will either be 0-2 or Michigan will have lost to a team which lost to USF a week earlier. As always, I will be naked in a sweat lodge with my Navajo friend, "Timber Jake", as a way of attempting to summon an intergalactic meteor shower which will destroy everybody involved in the game.
FROM THE FACEPALM-ENDUCING "SEC FANS" FILES. Apparently, the War Eagle has been mobilized with the hopes of boycotting Old Navy, which they claim portrayed an Auburn fan as a pizza delivery guy and in a foolish manner. (As the article points out, everybody in the commercial is pretty much portrayed in a foolish manner). So, I guess it's incredibily awkward for any Auburn fans who are actually pizza delivery drivers, but I'm just surprised Old Navy still has enough money to run commercials.
FANCY INTERNET THINGS. Lil Duval addresses the skinny jean issue... A profile on a man who hunts Al-Qaida for a living... The rumors of Jesus' resurrection in Italy appeared to be a false alarm--it was just Corey Maggette arriving in Greece, who is apparently the newest god there... Airplane boarding method by an astrophysicist cuts loading time in half... Do you know your rights if you were to be arrested?... ERIC METCALF... A kingly picture The Eternal King, Warren G. Harding.
