Friday Skull Session

Wooooo!!!! How about them Brownies? Peyton Manning, move over, old-timer; there's a new sheriff in town and his name is Brian Hoyer! Five touchdown passes, are you kidding me? Josh Gordon, 150 yards and two touchdowns? Pssssh. All Jordan Cameron does is catch red zone targets!

First place after week five? My only hope is the Browns keep everyone healthy for the play-offs. The NFL Championship is headed back to Cleveland, folks. Ain't no other way around it.*

* DISCLAIMER: All stats are approximate. This story was handed in well before the Browns kicked off.

LT. SIMMONS GETS HIS WISH. The other day, Ramzy tipped me off (after reader Pam tipped him off), about an injured veteran who had a Bucket List wish of meeting the Ohio State football team and head coach Urban Meyer. When I posted the Buckshot, people had raised $280 of the $500 goal. That goal turned out to be paltry, as 11W commenters mounted up and crushed it within the hour.

The goal was raised to $1,000, and again, it was no match for 11W's commentariat. As it sits now, $1,700 has been raised for Lt. Simmons' dream, which is damned impressive. This hero's dream will be realized:

So if you have tickets to see the Buckeyes, be sure to give Lt. Steve Simmons the welcome he deserves. And to those who helped — hats off. You're what makes Buckeye fans some of the best in the country.

AARON CRAFT RECEIVES AWARD. When I saw this headline, I figured Aaron Craft would be named the new President of Ohio State. (It's inevitable, isn't it? Thanks for that illicit barbeque, Coach Pearl!) Ohio State's recently-engaged point guard has received the Annual McMurry Scholar Athlete Citizenship Award. Just what is the Annual McMurry Scholar Athlete Citizenship Award? I'm glad you asked. From Ohio State's official site:

The Ohio State University College of Social Work has selected its annual McMurry Scholar Athlete Citizenship Award winner as Aaron Craft, a Nutrition (Pre-Med) senior and Ohio State basketball guard. A Findlay, Ohio native, Craft was awarded this honor because of his ability to perform as a top-notch student, as well as his outstanding achievements on the court, in the classroom and in the community. He was nominated by Thad Matta, head men’s basketball coach.

The McMurry Scholar Athlete Citizenship Award, founded in 2008 by 1960 social work graduate Preston V. McMurry, Jr. of Phoenix, Ariz., honors student-athletes with a minimum 3.0 GPA, who best exemplify the idea of "Education for Citizenship" through significant volunteer service to the community. Coaches representing the 36 varsity sports at Ohio State nominated candidates for this award, and a committee of graduate-level social work student leaders selected the recipient.

As we say in the City of Kings (Marion, Ohio, to the uninitiated): "'Bout right."

THOSE DAMNED TWITTER HACKERS!!!

ALABAMA BE CHEATING!!!! I swear, this needs to become a regular sub-headline in my Skull Sessions. Thursday night, Nick Saban indefinitely suspended star safety (and All-World Name Team) Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. Was this one of those magical "indefinite" SEC suspensions that would only last through Alabama's much-anticipated matchup with Georgia State? Well, not unless Saban wants to further draw the eye of the NCAA's Pinkerton division. From TuscaloosaNews.com:

University of Alabama assistant strength and conditioning coach Corey Harris has been placed on administrative leave for providing impermissible benefits to suspended football safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, The Tuscaloosa News has learned.

UA head coach Nick Saban announced Wednesday that Clinton-Dix has been indefinitely suspended for violation of team rules but did not specify the nature of the violation.

Assistant strength and conditional coach Corey Harris has been placed on administrative leave. In looking into the matter, the UA compliance office also discovered that Harris had a connection to a representative of a sports agent. UA's internal investigation has found no indication that Clinton-Dix has had contact with any agent or agent representative. Efforts to reach Harris were unsuccessful.

Add this into Yahoo!'s investigation into benefits received by DJ Fluker and Mark Barron, and the skyline of Tuscaloosa is looking pretty smoky from afar. 

I don't care about college kids receiving hundreds of dollars in "extra benefits," but if the NCAA wants to keep the last scraps of integrity they have, don't they have to come down on Alabama? Especially since Alabama is still in the window for "repeat offender" status from their last brush with the NCAA? This isn't some scuzz-ball agent; this isn't some renegade booster; Alabama LITERALLY EMPLOYED A BAGMAN.

(I don't even know why I'm expecting any action, however. An "NCAA compliance" expert says this isn't a big violation. [DeVier Posey, feel free to punch something.])

You know who has to be beaming right now? The nutcase behind Saban2014.com. The stars are aligning for him to become a soothsayer of sorts. 

OLE MISS HAS AN ASSHOLE PROBLEM. I know this, because I harbor many asshole tendencies, and as the Navajo have said for centuries, "it takes one to know one." Yet, reading this story, I don't think one even has to carry those genes to recognize:

Many members of an audience of mostly Ole Miss students, including an estimated 20 Ole Miss football players, openly disrespected and disrupted the Ole Miss theater department’s production of “The Laramie Project” Tuesday night at the Meek Auditorium.

Cast members of the play, which is about an openly gay male who was murdered in Laramie County in Wyoming, said members of the audience became so disruptive at times that they struggled completing the play.

According to the play’s director and theater faculty member Rory Ledbetter, some audience members used derogatory slurs like “fag” and heckled both cast members and the characters they were portraying for their body types and sexual orientations. Ledbetter said the audience’s reactions included “borderline hate speech.”

Only in the deep south can you launch homosexual slurs at a play about a man murdered specifically because of his sexual orientation, and have it said it was "borderline" hate speech. And I know, I know, NOT ALL SOUTHERNERS ARE LIKE THIS, but this is, after all, the same region where a student newspaper (Alabama's) is probably going to win a Pulitzer for their work on the school's segregation in the year 2013. 

Putting aside the context of the heckling, I would like to go on record as saying hecklers are some of the worst people. In my opinion, they're as evil as "people" who leave their shopping carts in grocery store parking lots. What kind of a monster goes to a play — a student one at that — and feels they have the clout to heckle the performer? And to do it in the way they did? Honestly, I'd cut their asses, but that's probably why I'm not a Division-I football coach.

PLEASE MAKE THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL MUSIC VIDEOS STOP. JUST... NO, AIR FORCE. NO. NO. NO.

THOSE WMDs. Braxton Miller not ready to concede Heisman yet... Three Clevelanders arrested, indicted for cross-country cocaine trafficking... Former northern spy lifts veil on Koreas' deadly rivalry... Tourists took selfies at the Capitol shooting yesterday... Internet cafes will remain illegal in Ohio... Marion Police Beat: Ford F-150, $6,000 in equipment stolen from business... "Bluetooth Bandit" sought in Columbus bank robberies... History's greatest monster, E. Gordon Gee, deciphers life after the OSU's Presidency... Meet Virginia Tech's Mr. Inside Outside... Urber smartphone app went live in Columbus yesterday... Kobe Bryant is off to Germany for another knee treatment... Women are making a lot of money by writing... dinosaur erotica?... "Just report it to your insurance company," Florida Man says to man he just robbed before fleeing... St. Gallen fans got the party started at Swansea... Fake Lantern: Ohio State announces switch to live mascot...  Kendrick Lamar, lmao!... NFL engaged in two-decade cover-up of football's link to concussions, says new book... End of sports in Oakland?...