Monday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on October 14, 2013 at 6:00 am
68 Comments
BROWNS     (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡         suoᴉ˥

Well, that certainly was an entertaining bye-week. At first I was hoping Michigan would be undefeated coming into The Game, but then I realized national pollsters were never going to respect a W over them anyway. Frankly, they're an average team with poor explosiveness at best. (In other news: c'mon, Michigan State! Need ya to be a one-loss team coming into the Big Ten championship game.)

And to the #MichiganMen clamoring for Shane Morris to get the next start: you think your running game is calamitous now? Wait until you put Shane Morris back there.

I also think Oregon is the best team in the country, but honestly, I don't believe there's a truly elite team this year. I think everyone could be beat, and if Ohio State can get into the BCS title game, I'll take Urban Meyer with a month to prepare against anyone. (YES, EVEN YOU NICK SATAN, EVEN YOU.)

Anyway, it was nice to sit back and scope the scene and not worry about the Buckeyes. I guess it's not that bad we get to do it again in four weeks. 'Til then, bring on Vodka Sam and the sorry-ass (+17) Hawkeyes.

HOW URBZ GOT THEM BUCKEYES BACK ON TRACK. Before Urban Meyer descended from the clouds and landed in Columbus, Ohio, the Buckeyes had just finished a /facepalm-inducing 6-7 season. (Miss you, Joey Bauserman.) Ohio State would rattle off 12 straight victories the next season under Urban, and the Columbus Dispatch's Bill Rabinowitz penned (read: typed) a newly-released book about that campaign: Buckeye Rebirth.

Rabinowitz recently gave an interview about the project, and buried in an interview about Urban's forthrightness, is this (emphasis mine): 

How did Meyer get the players to buy into his approach, especially the 5 a.m. workouts?

It took awhile. At first, I think the players were in a state of shock. They had everything taken away from them. They couldn’t wear OSU gear. They got kicked out of their own locker room. There was plenty of grumbling. But they’d finished 6-7 the year before and they knew Urban Meyer had won two national titles. They didn’t exactly have leverage, not that college players ever do. But there was a lot of second-guessing and a reluctance to buy in totally. That changed during the pregame speech before the Michigan State game. The Buckeyes had muddled through a weak non-conference schedule. Maybe they realized their way wasn’t going to cut it during league play. So when Meyer pleaded with them to give up the “evaluation” and just do what coaches asked, they were finally ready to do it. They also came to believe by that point that Meyer and his staff weren’t tyrants, that they did really care about them.

I think one of the most underrated aspects of Meyer’s success is his ability to motivate. He’s known for his success with the spread, but he downplays that. He says he loves coaching against so-called X’s and O’s gurus. Meyer believes what matters much more is understanding the pulse of his team, of knowing which psychological buttons to push. He was a psychology major, after all, and it informs everything he does.

LES MILES IS FIRED UP. Les Miles is definitely my favorite coach in the FBS. After beating Florida on Saturday, a reporter noted last year Florida beat LSU like a hammer does a nail, but this year it was reversed. LSU's coach cut him off and went on a classic Les Miles rant:

To the BrownsJOHNNY MAGIC MANZIEL

BRADY HOKE: QB GURU. *looks at statlines from Johnny Manziel and Devin Gardner.* It's time to relive one of Brady Hoke's greatest quotes:

Speaking to the Dan Patrick Show, Michigan head coach Brady Hoke was asked an opened ended question, "If Johnny Manziel was your quarterback..."

"He'd probably be playing behind Devin Gardner," Hoke immediately responded.

Patrick, and anyone else who was listening to the interview, responded in a very similar fashion.

"Huh?"

"We try and educate the kids here," Hoke said. "This has always been about the team, the team, the team. If they're going to celebrate, and they're going to express themselves, do it with your teammates. Do it with the other 10 guys on that field that helped you make whatever great play happen."

Ah yes, that ol' Michigan Man, smug hubris; how I absolutely detest you. By the way, speaking of Johnny Football (PLEASE DRAFT HIM, CLEVELAND), here's an awesome tweet sent by his offensive lineman in the aftermath of their win over Ole Miss:

LOU HOLTZ IS OLD. Stanford lost at Utah this weekend, and frankly, they just got beat. Lou Holtz, however, has an idea as to the source of the shocking loss:

There’s no doubt that Stanford did not play well. But I know coming from an academic institution, this is a time for midterm exams. Players are not focused, they don’t get to practice on time, they’re worn out, they’re tired, they don’t get much sleep, and you do not play very well. And that is exactly what it looked like to me with Stanford. I don’t know that for a fact, but that looked like a football team that was in midterms.

Ah yes, "coming from an academic institution," because no other school really has to deal with their players taking midterms. Here's a hint, Lou: football players regardless of institution have ridiculous resources (more than the average student) to deal with academics.

There's also the fact Stanford is on a quarter system, so they're nowhere close to midterms. (Utah, however, took midterms last week.)

SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN A PULITZER. Justin K. Aller of Getty Images, COME ON DOWN TO COLLECT YOUR PRIZE:

YES. YES. YES.

(To capture its full glory, you can click to enlarge.) 

A Deadspin reader named Bryan had the scoop:

Hey Guys,

I was sitting in the section next to this guy. He was standing for every play with his buddy and became confrontational with those around him. The people behind we're getting pissed and some lady actually had enough and hit him. Mid way through the 2nd after Michigan had scored he started taunting everyone and it looked like he was about to start a fight in the stands. Security came up and escorted him down to the front when he grabbed the railing and refused to leave. He ended up talking some swings at the state police who were arresting which is why he got pepper sprayed.

My only regret is not getting it on video for Tuesday night fights.

Cheers,

Bryan

How pissed do you think that Michigan Man was when he woke up in jail and found out Michigan lost in four OTs? He had to be heated.

Blood feud with Michigan aside, however, the "you need to sit down" people at football games are the absolute worst, and it's a shame those people were able to claim a victory over this poor sap, especially since he was apparently assaulted first. THIS AIN'T A CHURCH SERMON, SISTER. If you want to sit down and be orderly, then just stay home. You have no place during a big-time football contest. 

THOSE WMDs. #1 TE Mike Gesicki will decide between OSU/PSU this week... THIS IS THE WORST LADY IN THE WORLD...  Brandon Weeden threw the WORST INTERCEPTION IN NFL HISTORY yesterday... An Imgur gallery of glorious, glorious Marion, Ohio...  Jeff Boals is pretty funny... Hit on Case McCoy was straight out of NFL Blitz... Patrick Hruby incinerates the myth of amateurism... Steelers fan is elated his team is now 1-4... Gus Poyet is the new manager of Sunderland... SEC ref with a Playboy bunny tattoo... Red Bull is looking to buy an English soccer club and take them to the Champions League... Columbus has been plagued with teen shootings... Columbus teens shrug off being shot... I got hired in a Bangladesh sweatshop; meet my nine-year-old boss... 4chan camgirl Loli-chan grows up... #FireGregSchiano... #SupportYourLocalPaper... How a shy animal-lover became America's most wanted eco-terrorist... Meet the possible future of baseball managers: Sir Bam Bam... Dave Chappelle: still the man... 

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