So I'm on this new medication for anxiety/depression and one of the warnings was like horrible nightmares or hallucinations and stuff.
I stopped having bad dreams when I was a little kid. I'm 20 now.
Anyway, a week or two ago I have my first experience with this stuff.
WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!? I've never experienced anything more frightening/twisted in my life.
Like when it happens I'll be in that "sweet spot" where I'm asleep but awake at the same time. Like im dead tired and 90% asleep but I'm not asleep. I don't know what stage that is.
I don't know how to describe this. Like my first experience, I was like strapped onto this mine cart/roller coaster ride that went into this dark cave or something. And it's like everything I fear was personified by these monkeys/dolls/monsters and they were mocking me. It was terrifying.
It doesn't feel like a dream. It's way more vivid, and you're way more perceptive.
Im dead serious when i say that I feels like an entirely different world.
Not quite real but not quite dreamy either.
The amount of fear and panic I've experienced in these dreams is incredibly overwhelming. I'm genuinely scared for my life.
And it's so much harder to press that wake-up button. You can't move. You can't scream. Its like torture to one's mind and soul.
And if you do manage to escape it, it's so hard to fight through the sleepiness and get awake. I can't just snap out of it. The first time it happened, I'm pretty sure it lasted at least 20 minutes. I was in and out of that sleepy zone at least ten times. That means I kept going back to that same world within seconds. It's like drowning and gasping for air but going down under, over and over and over and over again.
And i am completely aware of it happening to. I knew exactly where I was. I was aware of my surroundings. And I could even briefly see my dad once.
I was screaming for him to help me, to come save me. But my voice wouldnt work.
I tried kicking and trying to twist and turn and even stand up but my body was paralyzed. My mind was trapped inside my body.
Like my dad heard me mumbling (REALLY!? Screaming at the top of my lungs can only produce a few mumbles?!?!)
But I don't think he was aware of the horror I was experiencing. And I couldn't communicate with him.
I finally wake up and I'm traumatized. I'm scared to death. I'm DRENCHED in sweat. I sit there crying for like 20 minutes because I saw things I never wanted to see and experienced some sort of world I never knew existed. Like it made me question the good in this world.
By far the most frightening experience of my life.
Has anyone experienced this kind of stuff? Is it something to get used to? Am I being soft? Any tips?
