True confession as we head into Memorial Day weekend: I never served but my father was with the 13th Marines on Iwo Jima and I have always had a genuine respect for anyone who's worn our country's military service uniforms. I don't take our freedoms for granted but I've also never had to put my life on the line to defend them. Like many Americans, whenever I see someone in uniform or other evidence that they were in the armed forces, I thank them for their service.

I am currently reading Kyle Carpenter's "You Are Worth It," which he says has become his response any time someone thanks him for his service. (If you're not familiar with Carpenter, in November 2011, just one month after his 21st birthday, he jumped on a grenade in Afghanistan and despite carnage that would've killed most men, not only saved his best friend and fellow Marine, miraculously survived. As a result, he was awarded the Medal of Honor, at the time, the youngest living recipient. He's an extraordinary man whose courage and soft-spoken humility cast a much longer shadow than his 5-6 height.)

On the second page of his book's introduction, he writes:

"Thank you for your service."

The phrase has prompted some discussion within the veteran community because it is so predictable, almost reflexive. It's become filler language for when people don't know what else to say to you, but they want to say something. I know some vets are bothered by it because it can feel hollow, as if the person is just saying it out of obligation or habit, or the vets feel that they are being valued solely for their military service and not for anything else.

That paragraph right out of the chute gave me cause for pause and reflection. Saying "thank you for your service" makes me feel better but I've often wondered how it's received, especially when I am thanking a complete stranger who doesn't know me from Adam. Do they believe it's sincere or do they see me as just another person doing it out of habit or obligation, the same way we say thank you when someone opens the door for us or how Pavlov's dogs were conditioned to salivate when the bell rang?

So my honest and sincere question for the veterans here as we head into the Memorial Day weekend is this: how do you feel when a complete stranger thanks you for your service? Is there something better or different you'd prefer that we say to you? Is there something more we can say that moves the conversation beyond the potentially insincere sounding veneer or should we just let it go with a simple appreciation and expression of our gratitude?

I appreciate not everyone feels the same. Combat veterans may feel differently than those who never saw action, just as Vietnam vets who never got the credit may feel differently than those who have served in America's War on Terror. There's probably no right answer so what I am really seeking is understanding and enlightenment that can guide me forward.

And lest I forget, and because I admittedly don't know what else to say, thank you all for your service.

RIP, Dad.