Well, I wasn't going to post this as it's own thread, but Grand Theft Harley suggested I finish the "Let Me Be Emotional" series. So here we go.
To preface some of this, as some of you may know, I have walked across the country once in 2022, and was in the process of it again in 2024 when I had to stop after having emergency surgery to remove dead tissue in my stomach. The subsequent delay led to us (myself and the other board members of our nonprofit) to postpone the walk until 4/1/2025 to ensure recovery and attempt to avoid winter nastiness as much as possible (and with THIS winter it was probably a good call as it's going to hell in a handbasket down south). Last year I tried to hit as many games as I could because I anticipated not making it back to any games until the newest walk was finished which would've roughly been 3-4 years. Two months into the walk, I lost my father. He'd been battling infections that began during the first walk. Bad infections. He'd get so bad he'd be delirious and unable to speak. (I personally feel like the hospital missed a lot of this not doing their due diligence but that's a story for another time). He finally succumbed July 9th of this year. I was able to get home the day he was brought home by hospice, only to have him pass less than 24 hours later, not the 4-6 weeks we'd been told. I had part of his ashes placed in a Block O pendant that I keep with me.
I had been having emotional breakdowns at work, usually spurred on by a song I was playing (I hate how the same song can make me happy and sad simultaneously) or a random thought of him. I guess this is how grief is though.
I was lucky enough to drag Pap outta the house back in 2019, to see OSU play Wiscy at home. He went to the Skully with me, and we sat through the rain, chill and general misery to watch OSU bring home a W.
As the season progressed I missed our in-game text conversations (his messages usually ridden with nonsensical emojis), and we closed in on the IU game, which was five years to the day, and a day after my 42nd birthday. Two of my closest friends (one of whom is a PSU fan and he surprised me) joined me to watch the IU game. They knew my dad well. We enjoyed the entire game despite the weather (for obvious reasons). Dad came back to The Shoe, and we were 1-0.
We will not discuss the events of the game which shall not be named. But as the playoffs drew near, and it was revealed we'd be at home against UT, I started thinking about the game. First playoff game at the Shoe, first december game at the Shoe, and a shot at an SEC team. I pulled the trigger on a ticket (surprisingly cheaper than the IU game) and layered up. I sat the first row above Block O and my toes got a little cold early but walking around at half warmed them up. The drubbing of the Vols helped. I pulled the pendant out from my layers and said, "We just won the first playoff game Pap!" I immediately drove straight back to Tipp City to go to work. I ended up being awake for close to 36 hours. Well worth it. Pap and I were 2-0 on the season, and 1-0 in the playoffs.
The Rose Bowl was up next. There was something inside me, a feeling. I had to go. I'd never been to the Rose Bowl, one of the most iconic settings for college football. It's a bucket list item to go. I found a relatively cheap ticket and a surprisingly cheap flight (especially for how close to the game it was). Dad and I were headed to Pasadena (or Santa Ana THEN Pasadena...who's counting). Pasadena was beautiful. The Rose Parade was phenomenal, the stadium was a wonderful place to watch a game. As the clock ticked down, I grabbed the pendant and said, "We just won the Rose Bowl Pap!" Postgame I reconnected with one of my childhood best friends and a few 11W friends before departing. On my three mile walk back to the car, the weather felt perfect. It was a crisp, clear, cool evening, and I looked up and told Pap I missed him but we got it done. 2-0.
The Cotton Bowl was next on the agenda. Having been to last year's Cotton Bowl travesty I was nervous about showing my face down there again. I met up with MGrable, a follower of the first walk at last year's Cotton Bowl game, he wanted to buy me a beer. So I met him and his family. This year the weather was throwing more junkballs at me than Tim Wakefield. Tickets dropped as low as 140 dollars the Tuesday before, and I assumed they'd stay there. They did not. The weather forecast improved, the ticket situation did not. I got up at 10pm to get ready for work, worked a full day, got home, picked up my rental car, and hit the road. I ended up getting into Springfield, MO at a Motel 6 just as the snowstorm I thought I was driving around hit. The first room they gave me as more than infested with cockroaches. So they moved me to a bug-free room. I watched the end of PSU/ND and nodded off. I knew I'd have to leave early, the snowstorm called for 5-7", I set my alarm for 330am (and woke up at 3....) I looked outside and I estimated it was probably closer to the 7". I showered, warmed up the car and got on the road. The first three hours was white knuckle for the most part. I could barely see any concrete on the highway for close to 70 miles. Roads cleared as I got west and got to Texas. Made it to AT&T Stadium with about three hours to gametime so I reconnected with MGrable and a few of his friends at a tailgate, including a coworkers father Andy (who ill come back around to later). The game went on, and at the end, as Captain Jack raced down the sideline, I clutched dad's pendant. When the clock ran out, my eyes misted up. I looked to the sky and said to myself, "We did it Pap, we're going to the Natty!" I walked down to MGrable and we sang Carmen Ohio (my overpriced tickets happened to be in his row about ten seats away). What a feeling.
Now, decisions had to be made. We saw the ticket threads. Tickets defied all logic. Two of the most recognizable brands and fanbases in all sports, not just college sports. Tickets were insane. I didn't much care. That feeling deep within was calling. I had to be there. Somehow. So I got up for work, worked a little more than a half day, and hit the road immediately for Dallas. With about four hours to kick I just pulled the trigger on tickets. I paid about $2,800 bucks. It took away all the money I had saved up for my bills for the remainder of the walk. But I had to be there. I finished the drive, met up with MGrable again briefly before heading into the stadium. Once ND scored I was a bit worried, but then the monster woke up. I got nervous as the game wound down and OSU went conservative and ND made it interesting. But Jayden Fielding's field goal (which was such an AMAZING redemption moment for him) got me feeling very good. As the clock wound down, I again reached for the pendant. I held Pap close as the time ticked away. Again, I looked to the sky, and said "We did it Pap. We WON A NATTY!"
I walked down and over a few sections to sing Carmen Ohio with MGrable again. Thankfully he'd offered the spare bed in his hotel room and I needed it. After about 27/28 hours awake, and all he adrenaline I dumped during the game, I was literally spent.
The drive home was worse than the drive there. I stopped multiple times to pound caffeine, stretch legs, and expose my body to the cold to wake me up. I got back to the Dayton area at 5:30. I noticed a few letters in the mailbox and grabbed them up. Hall Across the Country had two letters in the pile. I got into my room and opened them. One was a check from PayPal giving addressed to Hall Across the Country for 120.00. I was astounded. Most of the donations we had received had stopped as the walk had been on hiatus. The second letter was from Fidelity Giving, and was for $5.000. Roughly a third of a year's worth of operating costs for our walk were covered by one donor. Andy, MGrable's friend had made a monstrous donation. Matt had introduced us during his tailgate at the Cotton Bowl, and had me tell my story, and the story of the walk(s). I explained what the walk was for, what we as a nonprofit aim to do, and handed him a card. He told me he would put a check in the mail. I assumed he'd had a few beers and would forget. I had zero idea that he'd remember little old me (and us) and do what he did. I just couldn't believe it. The largest single donation we'd received to that point was $500 from a school mate.
The season is over. I got to watch the seniors raise that trophy. I got to take my dad to five games this season. Through the entire playoff run. I got to watch what will likely be the last live OSU game I will see for the next 3-4 years (estimated). I was so unbelievably fortunate to have that final game be the ninth national championship, and to have my dad with me while they did it.
Dad and I had completed the journey. I’d destroyed my short term finances and am going to be working my ass off for the next two months to recoup my money and save back up to cover my personal finances while I’m out walking the country advocating for mental health, but it was worth every penny. Losing dad made me realize that life is also about enjoying the time here. He always would tell me when I was younger and working on a concrete crew with him “I don’t want you to end up like me”
I thought he meant doing concrete work. I think he meant being that guy who was defined by his job. So I’m focusing on our nonprofits advocacy, and while I was home, taking dad to see games live he’d never had a chance or would get a chance to see. It’ll be the last time I get to see OSU live for probably three years or more, and boy did Pap and I end it in style.
Now, my full focus goes back to the walk. To talking mental health, to sharing my story, to (hopefully) empowering others to open up about their stories, in the hopes that we can uplift as many people as possible, while talking with providers and legislators along the way to give folks ideas on resources available to them and what things are being done to improve mental health in their areas. So for the next ten weeks or so I will be working my butt off to get the money I spent on this playoff run built back up, build my body back up, hopefully find a way to get a few more donations and sponsors, and then be back on the road.
2024 was a poopy year on the whole for me. So far....it's trending better.
Go Bucks!!!!
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