It's Thursday, which means it's Klobbering time. (Understanding that meme is today's password. If you're baffled then there's the door.)
BRAXTON GETS THE NATIONAL PROFILE. As you may have heard by now: Braxton Miller was once a quarterback, but he switched to wide receiver. Also, his Buckeye career is almost at an end.
ESPN the Magazine, which apparently survived Disney's budgeting gallows, went #longform on Miller's transition.
From espn.com:
"I knew after the last checkup that I wasn't ready for quarterback," he says. "I couldn't throw over 40 yards. I was throwing hard, about 70 mph, 20 yards. But I couldn't throw over 40 yards. There's no point in playing quarterback if you can't throw over 40 yards. It was devastating."
[...]
The current model for this transition is Julian Edelman, a 5-10, 200-pound quarterback in college who has become one of Tom Brady's go-to targets. "Julian's a smart guy," says New Mexico State coach Doug Martin, who coached Edelman at Kent State. "Pro scouts don't like to project people into something they haven't ever seen them do before. We tried to help him his senior year by putting him back to return punts. There are not many quarterbacks who are also your punt returner. But we did that so scouts could see that he could do those types of things."
For Miller, a season-long head start on others likely destined to switch (TCU QB Trevone Boykin, for one) could be a blessing. "They don't do a lot of coaching [in the NFL]," Smith says. "You can't ask a kid to try to learn receiver when he's already there. That's something he's got to develop and be tutored in before he's there."
Chan Gailey might disagree with level of coaching received in the college, but I register Smith's overall point.
Out of OSU's draft eligible players, Braxton Miller's NFL stock has the most room to grow. If he lights it up during the Buckeyes' (potential) five-game run, he'll add millions to his first contract.
Hell, if Miller really balls out, that old sea creature Al Davis may crawl out of his tomb to spend a first round pick on Miller.
SPARTY GOT KNOCKED DOWN, BUT HE GOT UP AGAIN. Michigan State DE Shilique Calhoun could be getting paid millions to trash offensive linemen and quarterbacks. Connor Cook could be getting paid millions of dollars to hold a clipboard on the sidelines.
And yet, they'll be in Ohio Stadium on Saturday afternoon trying (and hopefully failing) to beat the team we all know and love.
Why?
From theozone.net:
“One of the main reasons Shilique and I came back is because we had some unfinished business,” Cook said this week. “We want to compete for another conference championship, compete for another National Championship, and it all started with facing Oregon week two. And we got over the hump with that, and losing to Ohio State last year I think was a little bit more sickening than losing to Oregon last year, because they're in our division, our conference, and shuttered our hopes of going to play for the Big Ten Title game.
“So we can avenge that loss from last year by taking care of business this weekend and being able to put ourselves in a situation to go on and play for that conference title. So, you know, this game this weekend is huge, this game is huge, and it's one of the main reasons why we came back.”
[...]
“I would definitely agree with Connor,” [Shilique Calhoun] said. “This is a great opportunity for us, like he said a big reason why we came back here. Not only that but just to be out there with the guys, have another opportunity to play a big-time school in a big-time stadium, so I agree. I completely feel the same exact way.
Well, I doubt their visions included Big Ten refs bungling a call and costing them a loss to Mike Riley's impotent Nebraska.
Nor did they probably include this happening a week before a matchup against Joey Bosa in his last home game:
"Grit and heart" (read: painkillers) may get Cook through the game, but they won't soothe his soul if Sparty spartys on Saturday.
Would that make it worth coming back? Not in my grimy underworld.
THREE WISE COACHES. History and grudge voodoo aside, I've got Ohio State tabbed for the big win this weekend. But don't take my homer-ass word for it; ESPN's Joe Schad spoke to "three coaches who faced MSU/OSU this year," and they all agreed with me, the man who first said the Bucks would beat Sparty.
- Coach A: “Talent isn’t close. Ohio State is a different animal.”
- Coach B: "Ohio State will beat them pretty good.”
- Coach C: "Ohio State just has more freaks. It’s too much talent.”
- All three coaches gave Ohio State the edge on offense, defense, and special teams.
- All three coaches agree MSU's offensive line and secondary were concerns.
- All three coaches agreed Michigan is a better matchup for Ohio State.
Rutgers, Indiana, Maryland and Western Michigan are the four common opponents thus far. To be fair, Schad didn't say they were head coaches or even on different staffs.
Could this be a Rutgers assistant strength coach gassing up Ohio State? Maybe, but if I'm getting Machiavellian then I'm wagering all three coaches were Mark Dantonio using a voice modification box to conjure some last-minute bulletin board material.
According to the person running Kevin Wilson's Twitter account, it was not Kevin Wilson:
@ramzy @11W - I can attest he didn't talk to @IUCoachWilson - Never discuss other teams with Media & Don't do Anonymous Quotes. #GoIU
— Kevin Wilson (@IUCoachWilson) November 18, 2015
No anonymous quotes? I guess this means we can cross off "NFL Scout" as a possible jobs for Wilson when he's inevitably fired from Indiana.
TOM HERMAN: STILL MAKING MONEY. Here at 11W, we all knew somebody would look smart — smart enough to join MENSA, the organization for geniuses — when they got around to hiring then-Ohio State offensive coordinator Tom Herman.
Houston athletic director Mack Rhoades ended up being that man.
Rhoades, however, moved onto Missouri earlier this year. Longtime Tiger coach Gary Pinkel is retiring, and now Rhoades is faced with the same dilemma he faced at his old job.
Is that Tom Herman's music in Columbia!?
From coachingsearch.com:
“Certainly partial to Tom Herman, since I hired him at my previous institution,” Rhoades said [during a Wednesday press conference]. “I think he’s a terrific coach, OK? Justin Fuente is another terrific coach that has won a lot of games at a place that is hard to win. But I want to caution everybody: I’m not locked in to any certain candidate whatsoever. It’s about fit.
“With all due respect to Tom Herman, does he have that same success at another school? He was a great fit at the University of Houston. Justin Fuente, great fit at Memphis. For us here, it’s about fit. I’m not into the hottest names out there, and those are certainly two of them. That doesn’t mean that they’ll automatically come here, be a great fit and win games here. I’m more about winning games, winning championships and finding the coach that can really do that over the long haul.”
Mack Rhoades keeping it real; it's easy to see why he liked Tom Herman.
Speaking of keeping it real, can Herman bolt Houston overnight after dropping that soliloquy on the depth of love within the Coogs camp? Houston is circling the Brinks trucks, but regardless of the outcome the hunt for Tom Herman is going to make for fascinating reading when the dust settles.
In the meantime, are we even sure Tom Herman is one man and not a group of men pulling an elaborate long con à la The Prestige?
The mysterious case of Tom Herman looking different in every photo pic.twitter.com/8VNXWxNa2U
— Trey Scott (@TreyScott247) November 18, 2015
I'm not ready to say we're being hustled, but I will say it'd make sense.
R.I.P. DAB. Back in my day, a dab was simply a form of ultra-concentrated marijuana smoked with a blow torch. (Don't look at me, look at the #teen engineers with too much time on their hands.)
Apparently Migos, as rap groups are wont to do, co-opted the word and turned it into a dance move. (Again, stop looking at me.)
Carolina Panther QB Cam Newton "dabbed on them folks" in celebration against the Tennessee Titans this past weekend, leading to an angry (and 1000% real) mom writing a 1000% real letter that led to thinkpieces.
If all this is making you groan, don't worry: Cris Carter butchered the dab to death.
?? #Bappin ? pic.twitter.com/IuuBdZHgdz
— FOST (@GeorgeFoster72) November 18, 2015
If you listen closely, you can hear the exact moment Carter draws a blank on his "hip rappers" Rolodex card. This entire clip should be enshrined at the #dad museum.
Per usual though, none of this can be blamed on our old friend Duron:
I told him dab!!! He just was so excited he messed it up lmao https://t.co/XdIfArKFki
— Duron Carter (@DC_CHILLIN_8) November 18, 2015
How excited am I for Ohio State's upcoming slate? Folks, I'm as excited as a 49-year-old #dad talking about pop culture dances.
THOSE WMDs. An angry hippo is a dangerous hippo... Drone footage of an abandoned castle... Kickstarter: Make the censors watch paint dry... Raw talent and college sports mix at Culinary Institute of America... Fighting crime, with pollen.
