This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- LeBron James high school highlights.
- J.R. Swish highlights.
- That time Chris Bosh's girlfriend trolled LeBron into destroying the Raptors.
ZEKE BUYS MAMA ZEKE A CRIB. Ezekiel Elliott and the Dallas Cowboys agreed to a four-year, $24.9 million deal (complete with a $16.3 million signing bonus) last week.
Zeke's name is the only one on contract, which means ~$24.9 million belongs to him. He could do anything with that money, like spending it on fast cars, alcohol, and women.
But Zeke didn't forget his roots. He wasn't the only one on that path to success, and he's not forgetting his compatriots.
From dallasnews.com:
But as the No. 4 draft pick finds his footing - he said he felt a little more prepared by Wednesday's Day 2, working alongside veterans Darren McFadden and Alfred Morris - he has already made his first big purchase as a pro. His mother, Dawn Elliott, and family are moving into a new house in the St. Louis area, the same region where he grew up.
"It just feels really good to reward my mom," Elliott told SportsDay. "The hard work she put in raising me and all she sacrificed, finally being able to do something for her for the first time feels really good."
Props to Ezekiel Elliott for realizing every son's dream. He's nine years younger than me, so I need to step my game up before my mom's squatting in a foreclosed house on the west end of Marion.
DECKER MAKES HIS MOVE. Taylor Decker stated before the draft his goal was to start at left tackle when the Detroit Lions begin their season on Sunday, Sept. 11 in Indianapolis against the Colts, who took Alabama center Ryan Kelly the pick before the Lions took Decker.
It hasn't been a month since the draft, but Decker is already moving up the totem poll.
From mlive.com:
ALLEN PARK -- The Detroit Lions offense had a different look to it during the first round of OTAs, and not just because they didn't have key pieces such as Ameer Abdullah, Golden Tate and Eric Ebron.
Rookie Taylor Decker was occupying left tackle, while Riley Reiff, a mainstay at that position the past three years, was on the right side.
Reiff was a first-round pick in 2012, and has started 47 of the past 48 regular-season games at left tackle. He hasn't been terrible, but hasn't flourished either, and with so many issues up front the past two years, the Lions appear to be gearing up for a change.
It's a long way to go between now and September, so Decker starting at LT as a rookie is far from official, but he's moving on the right track.
ELFLEIN ON THE MEND. King Slob Pat Elflein will be a key cog in Ohio State's 2016 war machine. The newest Buckeye center underwent the knife last week to remove a cyst in his shoulder.
From espn.com:
Ohio State center Pat Elflein had a minor shoulder scope to remove a cyst last week, but he's expected to be completely healthy in time for training camp. That's good news for the Buckeyes and arguably the most indispensable player on a young roster. Elflein, currently in a sling as he recovers, flirted with leaving for the NFL draft before choosing to return for his senior season and take on a critical leadership role for Ohio State.
Sounds like a routine cyst removal and no cause for alarm if he'll return by the time Camp Meyer 2016 opens its doors in August.
TERRELLE PRYOR READY TO BULLY. Laugh now cry later, but I still see no reason to back off my prediction Robert Griffin III and Terrelle Pryor will lead the Cleveland Browns to a Suer Bowl 51 record.
From cleveland.com:
"(I'm) 10 times (better than last year),'' Pryor said after an OTA practice on Wednesday. "I look at the film and it amazes me, and I give that to (receivers coach Al) Saunders, because just sitting there and doing the extra meeting time with him and him really breaking down certain routes to me and how he wants them run, it's awesome.''
[...]
And if Pryor keeps up like this, Hue Jackson -- who drafted him as a quarterback in Oakland and who was his offensive coordinator in Cincinnati last June when he was cut as a quarterback -- just might have one big, fast, dangerous, versatile receiver on his hands.
"I just really want to go beat up on some corners,'' he said. "Catch the ball over them, run past them, catch the ball stiff-arm them whatever, it doesn't matter. Every time I touch the field, practice, game, I'm going to bring high energy, high effort.''
Sounds like Pryor is willing to catch an assault charge for his team. Those are the kinda guys your team needs in their corner if it's to capture glory in a vipers pit like the NFL.
#BANTEENS. Teenagers without the sense or talent to be committed to Ohio State disgust me. Promposals disgust me—who do these kids think they are, doing things differently than I did over a decade ago?
This is amazing! pic.twitter.com/9c1lntdrG9
— Promposals! (@PromposaIs2016) May 17, 2016
[Editor's note: Hello, it's The Starcat. I removed D.J.'s unhinged, 3,000-word diatribe against teenagers in an attempt to save his job so he can still feed me. Thank you for understanding.]
THOSE WMDs. The future of advertising is placing an entire product on your face... One of earliest hominin constructions found in France... Illinois racks up millions in property seizures by police... The enduring legacy of The Twilight Zone... The shelter that gives wine to alcoholics.
