Skull Session: ESPN's FPI is a Mess Again, Ohio State Ranks No. 2 in Basketball and Football Combined, and Freshmen Lose Black Stripes Like Never Before

Some morning inspiration for all of you: no matter how terribly your life is, at least you didn't get bitten by a venomous African viper that looks like a damn dragon and has no known antivenom!

A venomous snake with no known antivenom bites San Diego Zoo employee: The snake involved was an African bush viper. There is no known antivenom for their bites. https://t.co/W1jIWoFzFX pic.twitter.com/O65Yf35f5c
— CITIZENS for CHANGE (@cfcpac) April 13, 2021

Word of the Day: Madcap.

MATT CAMPBELL'S REVENGE! It seems like ESPN's preseason FPI index is never terribly kind to the Buckeyes, and folks, the computer is at it again, ranking Iowa State(!!!) ahead of Ohio State ahead of the season.

Alabama is No. 1 in this year's preseason FPI. For a complete look at the rankings, click here: https://t.co/FfgEX3pMOT pic.twitter.com/htdyjVkbZu
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) April 13, 2021

I knew the Buckeyes should have hired Matt Campbell instead of Ryan Day!!!

Really though, I'm praying this is at least somewhat accurate because it gives Michigan a 71 percent chance of getting to six wins, a 2 percent chance of winning the Big Ten East and a 0.7 percent chance of winning the Big Ten with a projected record of 6.4-5.7.

That's... Hilarious.

BEST OF BOTH WORLD'S. There ain't many schools who can boast the kind of success that Ohio State has had on both the hardwood and the gridiron.

In fact, according to a magic ranking algorithm from CollegeFootballNews.com, Ohio State has the No. 2 combined football and basketball ranking in all the land, behind only Alabama.

2 Ohio State

2020: 6 2019: 3 2018: 3
Football: 7-1 overall, 5-0 in conference, 1st in Big Ten East*
Basketball: 21-10 overall, 12-8 in conference, 5th in Big Ten

An argument could be made that Ohio State deserves to be a whole lot lower after the embarrassment of losing to a 15-seed in the NCAA Tournament, but football overtakes that. Winning the Big Ten title and exorcising the Clemson demon after the rough loss the year before made up for the hoops gaffe.

For most of the season, Ohio State probably would have been No. 1 on this list, but I understand that you forfeit certain things when you get dumped by a No. 15 seed in the first round. That seems fair to me.

STRIPES ARE FLYING OFF. If it's felt like players were losing their black stripes at an insane rate this spring, you definitely ain't wrong. My good pal Dan Hope ran the numbers and it looks like we've got ourselves an unprecedented situation.

Before this year, only four total true freshmen had shed their black stripes during spring practices since Urban Meyer implemented the ritual in 2012.

Five true freshmen have already had their black stripes removed this spring.
— Dan Hope (@Dan_Hope) April 13, 2021

Basically, either this year's freshmen are better than ever, or Ryan Day's made it quite a bit easier to lose your black stripe. Since I'm a noted blind optimist and Buckeye shill, I will choose to believe it's the former.

Also, it's 2021 and I'm still pretending that losing a black stripe

BLAME BASEBALL. Today, in bad #takes...

Chris Mortensen with a real humdinger here suggesting Justin Fields has bad throwing mechanics because hes been playing baseball, a sport he has not played since 2018 pic.twitter.com/0idwpfUC11
— Ben Koo (@bkoo) April 13, 2021

Ah yes, because playing baseball was such a problem for guys like Tom Brady, Patrick Mahomes, Kyler Murray, Joe Bauserman, Russell Wilson, Dan Marino, and John Elway.

This should go without saying, but this is one of the laziest things I've heard someone say on television this year, and that bar is so damn low.

SONG OF THE DAY. "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen.