Get dumped then, Sister Jean.
Today is the day I cheer as my team breaks the heart of an overhyped virgin centenarian on national television.
To be clear, I have nothing against Sister Jean personally. I'm sure she's a delightful lady and that letterman jacket looks great on her, even if it's 75 degrees outside. But due to no fault of her own, she's become the face of the team that's standing between my team and... well, an NCAA Tournament run that lasts about 48 hours longer. So today, we're natural enemies.
Nobody seems to be giving the Buckeyes a chance today, and I get it. They're a couple more injuries away from having to play a cardboard cutout of Amir Williams at center and have won a solid 20 percent of their games the past three weeks despite not playing a single ranked opponent. That, coupled with Ohio State's usual March Mishaps, isn't leaving a lot of room for optimism.
But my team features two future first-round picks and Joey Brunk, so I'm still willing to allow myself some unbridled optimism against a team that's still most famous for its geriatric chaplain.
Buckeyes 76, Sister Jean 64
Word of the Day: Survive and Advance.
WILL THE REAL UNDERDOG PLEASE STAND UP. One of my favorite things in all of sports is the psychological need to convince yourself that you're the scrappy underdog that nobody believes in.
It's hilarious listening to an Alabama linebacker say "I feel like we're the underdog in this game" as a 17-point favorite over an undefeated Group of Five team.
It was hilarious yesterday when a player from No. 4 seed Providence claimed they "proved the whole world wrong" after beating a lower-seeded team they were favored to beat.
And it was hilarious watching Loyola guard Lucas Williamson's face melt on Thursday when he learned they can't play the underdog card this time around.
Loyola guard Lucas Williamson said someone asked him what it's like to "be a favorite" in the matchup with Ohio State, and his response was: "What? How are we a favorite?"
— Griffin Strom (@GriffinStrom3) March 17, 2022
"How are we the favorite?"
Buddy, look around. You're playing a team that's lost four of its last five games, all to unranked opponents, with a frontcourt so hobbled that Sister Jean might be able to log some meaningful minutes if you gave her some stilts and a broom.
Don't get me wrong, the Buckeyes could very well win – in fact, I think they will! But acting incredulous that your team is favored heading into the game is just denying reality. Tell yourself what you need to tell yourself, but at least try to have some awareness.
“DON'T GO PRO!” Even while Ohio State preps for its NCAA Tournament run, it's never too early to worry about next year.
Unfortunately for the Buckeyes, pretty much the entire season hinges on a future first-round pick deciding he wants to spend another year going to economics class instead of cashing a six-figure check to play a game.
If he gets even moderately good feedback through the draft process, it'll be a hard sell. But don't worry, the fans are already on the case.
Malaki Branham signing autographs, one fan says dont turn pro! pic.twitter.com/uQPPdFCQCj
— Griffin Strom (@GriffinStrom3) March 17, 2022
I respect it, but the real rally cry here should be to local Columbus businesses: "Give him a big enough check that he doesn't have to go pro!"
THE BIG DANCE ON ICE. While we all enjoy the hoops hoopla of March Madness, another Buckeye team is awaiting their postseason fate, and things ain't looking too good.
Less than a month ago, Ohio State looked like a virtual lock to make the NCAA Tournament. But now, it appears the Buckeyes' tourney chances are on life support.
The Buckeyes have just a nine percent chance of getting in but could secure a spot if Quinnipiac wins the ECAC, Minnesota State wins the CCHA and any team except UConn wins Hockey East. This is NOT absolute, as there are scenarios when all three of these things happen and Ohio State still misses the field, but ALL three have to happen to give Ohio State a chance.
(Insert obligatory "So You're Saying There's a Chance?" gif here)
For those interested, the NCAA Men's Hockey Selection Show will be broadcast on ESPNU at 6:30 p.m. on Sunday.
SONG OF THE DAY. "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor.
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