Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. I was just busy making awful, awful picks and losing fictitious dollars at break neck speed In all (quasi-)seriousness, 2K10 has been a year to forget from a picking standpoint. After a stellar 2009 marked by my resume highlighting ("look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.") near 75% success against the spread, I've regressed to the mean with the velocity of the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. But do you think that means I'm going to quit before the sulfury deposits fill my lungs and stop my blazing fast fingers from ushering out more lousy, lousy random guesses as to who wins what games and by how many? Well then you were wrong, sir or madam.
The most recent humbling came courtesy of paltry 3-6 effort for college football's first full fledged bowl week. For all the fictitious just-for-fun cyber bookies looking to break my digital knee caps in exchange for my failures, the grand season total now solmenly sits squarely at 61-63-3 (or 49%, for those unable to sleep at night without crunching numbers and then angling a warm blow dryer on their hand.) If all those "there's only one way out of here" faux-pep talks didn't work (yet didn't stop me) during the regular season, I see no good reason why I shouldn't take aim at finishing roughly around 45% on the season. Fawnward and failward.
Now a year prior, I hammered out a paragraph plus on each of the New Year's (and surrounding days) games. The whole affair took 2.5 hours and quickly reminded me why this is an Ohio State blog and not a national college football one (the page views and comments did too; HEY-O!) I get that we're all here for a pretty unified purpose: To see what's on/when and to parlay a guess at who may come out on top (particularly for just for fun theoretical wagering purposes). If I've learned one thing in 2010, courtesy of the wisdom of my brother-in-arms Mr. Ramzy Narsallah of Bucknuts-fame, it's that less is more. And while one sentence doesn't necessarily take us the promised land given that we only have 15 (and not 30) events to cover, I strongly suspect given my proclivity for the self indulgent A.D.D. Mad Hatter's tea party that is twitter, 140 characters should do us just nicely. Let's wrap 2K10 in style, y'all.
Thursday, December 30th
Armed Forces Bowl: Army vs. SMU (-7) - 12:00 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
Pony Ex-lax v a Captain America-lite super hero known as TRENT STEELMAN. Run 'n shoot v. Flexbone. Defense need not apply. SMU 30 - USMA 14.
Pinstripe Bowl: Kansas State vs. Syracuse (PICK 'EM) - 3:20 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
Power towel. Power pantone. Power center of the world. Baseball stadiums shouldn't host football: Q.E.D. Miss u RonP: K-State 17 - Cuse 14.
Music City Bowl: North Carolina vs. Tennessee (+1) - 6:40 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
UNC. Tennessee. The ACC's finest meet SEC pride. Oh wait, this isn't the '08 Elite Eight? FFFFFFFFUUUUUU. Good luck, Dooley. UNC 21 - UT 17.
Holiday Bowl: Nebraska vs. Washington (+14) - 10:00 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
Nebraska's punishment for leaving? A return date with someone they already embarrassed. The Big Ten's 2-0; let's make it 3-0. NU 30 - UW 10
Friday, December 31st
Car Care Bowl: Clemson vs. South Florida (+5.5) - 12:00 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
Clemson's favored by a game by almost 2 field goals? USF's pretending they don't know who their QB is? I better sleep til 2. CU 17 - USF 7.
Sun Bowl: Miami vs. Notre Dame (+3) - 2:00 p.m. - CBS (HD)
Miss the days when non-cable sufficed and Miami and Notre Dame were elite. Well, maybe not that part. ND's stability wins it: ND 30 - UM 24.
Liberty Bowl: Central Florida vs. Georgia (-6.5) - 3:30 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
UCF were the class of CUSA for the better part of 2010 (and are ranked!). UGA underachieved but who'll cover A.J. Green? UGA 35 - USF 28.
Peach Bowl: Florida State vs. South Carolina (-3) - 7:30 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
If a game happens New Year's Eve, but neither team cares, does it really happen? Warmup bowl for 2011. Go OBC: South Carolina 38 - FSU 34.
Saturday, January 1st
TicketCity Bowl: Northwestern vs. Texas Tech (-9.5) - 12:00 p.m. - ESPNU (HD)
NERDS! The zombie Mike Leach offense! If Persa were healthy, no brainer. Even Tuberville can't screw the pooch here though. Tech 37 - NU 17.
Capital One Bowl: Alabama vs. Michigan State (+10) - 1:00 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
A Big Ten co-champ are giving 10 to a 3-loss team?! Surely you jest. Alabama misses 2009 more than even I do. Sparty in an "upset": 20 - 17.
Outback Bowl: Florida vs. Penn State (+7) - 1:00 p.m. - ABC (HD)
Who'd have thought in a million years, Joe Paterno would out last Urban Meyer? Have no fear: Addazio can still sink this: PSU 20 - UF 10.
Gator Bowl: Michigan vs. Mississippi State (-4.5) - 1:30 p.m. - ESPN2 (HD)
The Progressive Gator Bowl sounds like a drink served at ahipster bar. Rich Rod explodes into a million tiny flames. Mullen FTW: 45 - 40.
Rose Bowl: TCU vs. Wisconsin (+3) - 5:00 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
A timeless classic. The granddaddy of them all. TCU/Wisconsin?! Hope TCU brought two girls for every guy to the party. Badger 20 - TCU 14.
Fiesta Bowl: Connecticut vs. Oklahoma (-17) - 8:30 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
Some UConn blog is already calling for Edsall's head. Even an epic failure here makes that look ridiculous. OU gets their mojo back: 24-3.
Monday, January 3rd
Orange Bowl: Stanford vs. Virginia Tech (+3.5) - 8:30 p.m. - ESPN (HD)
Advanced scouting for The Game next season? VT's bounced back to pre-season hype style'd form. Luck's a beast though. VT narrowly: 30-27.
