Bert Bielema Denied Trolling of Michigan, Will Apparently Terrorize Jamaica Instead

Jim Harbaugh's Michigan is spending its spring break practicing at noted #teen football factory IMG Academy down in Bradenton, Florida. 

On Wednesday, noted food enthusiast Bert Bielema declared he his desire to have lunch and go check out MIchigan's practice, which isn't open to the public until Friday.

After early meetings & lift tomorrow with our players. Thinking about heading to watch an open practice tomorrow at IMG with the staff. #WPS

— Bret Bielema (@BretBielema) March 2, 2016

Mark Dantonio, who is 1-0 against Jim Harbaugh, tweeted that—for some reason—he'd like to join Bert for an early lunch at (presumably) Chili's:

Want to do lunch? #V4MSU https://t.co/5Us82hFySk

— Mark Dantonio (@DantonioMark) March 2, 2016

Unfortunately, thanks to the haters at the NCAA, we will be denied the spectacle of Dantonio and Bert rolling into Michigan's practice like a pair of WWE villains: 

Just found out from NCAA office we can't go to IMG open practice because in NCAA football it's a quiet period

Maybe next year #Jamaica

— Bret Bielema (@BretBielema) March 3, 2016

Someone higher up the food chain of humanity please alert the good people of Jamaica that an unprecedented, Chili's-fueled natural disaster is headed their way.