Allow Me to Get Emotional for a Bit….

I am sitting here in Santa Ana airport, waiting to head back to the cold Buckeye state. Last night walking back to my car I got emotional and wanted to put it here rather than the walk thread.

Four years ago I was in a hospital bed, pelvis broken in two places, wrist broken and dislocated, face covered in 50+ stitches, nerve damage in my legs, barely able to move. Those first two nights I spent a few hours trying to slide myself up the hospital bed with one arm, hold myself there and trying to grab any hose or cord I could to hang myself.

Whether it was exhaustion, the pain meds kicking in, the adrenaline dump (on the first night) or divine intervention, I was never able to go through with it.

As I walked back to my car (hey three miles each way ain’t SHIT when you’re JOE HALL….i still sweat like a mofo though), I felt the cool, crisp air and things felt…right. Like I was where I was supposed to be.

If I’d been able to finish doing what I was doing, I’d never have witnessed that unholy, belt to ass, mollywhopping Evil Ryan Day and Chip Kelly unleashed. I wouldn’t have been freezing a week or so ago watching OSU dismantle an SEC team. I wouldn’t have run into my childhood best friend (and my freshman homecoming date who he eventually married) that I haven’t seen in probably 15 years. I wouldn’t have run into a mod here (who still has a piquant odor about him) as well as a few other 11Ws out in Pasadena.

I wouldn’t have “run” a marathon or ultramarathon. I wouldn’t have walked across the country once and a second time TBD. I wouldn’t have met so many amazing people. Not to say that everything is sunshine and rainbows, but I am happier than I was.

I say all this because, if I’d finished what I started four years ago, I’d be gone. And if you’re out there struggling, just know that taking your own life will eliminate ANY chance to feel, or experience any and all good that’s out there, and I can tell you that there IS GOOD OUT THERE. Don’t take that away from yourself. Reach out. Reach out to someone, anyone.

I want you here.

You matter.

Now some shameless photos from yesterday…..