One of the first things that they tell you as a history major is that history absolutely, completely, 100 percent does not repeat itself. It may rhyme and hum a similar tune now and then, but people and events are simply too complex and unique to take them out of context and say WOAH DUDE, LINCOLN AND KENNEDY ARE BASICALLY THE SAME GUY!
As a dumb undergrad, I made the mistake of smugly telling a professor or two that my knowledge of some obscure historical event meant that I therefore had an innate understanding of a similar historical event that would happen decades later, only to be intellectually posterized by someone who actually knew what the hell they were talking about. I learned my lesson early: you don't know half as much as you think you do, so stop making silly comparisons.
Still, the desire is there. The human brain is hardwired to try and read tea leaves that aren't really in the shape of anything, and it's also pretty fun. It's especially fun in sports, because nonsensical rambling is generally encouraged when talking about which member of the 2016 recruiting class has a neck that most resembles Chris Spielman's. So while I'm not going to try and connect Shay's Rebellion to a bunch of rednecks squatting in a nature preserve, I might just go ahead and pull out a lesson from Jan. 26, 2005, when the 13-7 Ohio State Buckeyes defeated the 7-12 Penn State Nittany Lions by a score of 68-62.
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Brandon Fuss-Cheatham more than doubled
his average with 15 points to help Ohio State to a 68-62 win over
Penn State on Wednesday night, handing the Nittany Lions their 27th
consecutive Big Ten road loss....
Fuss-Cheatham, averaging 6.1 points a game, hit 6-of-11 shots
from the field including 3-of-5 3-pointers. He came into the game
having made only four 3-pointers in Ohio State's five previous Big
Ten games.
That's a pretty weird coincidence, especially since the games took place in almost the exact same time of year (Jan. 26 versus Jan. 28), with Ohio State having almost an identical record (13-7 versus 14-8), against an opponent with similar records (7-12 versus 10-11 okay that one isn't so close), with an almost identical outcome (68-62 versus 68-63) fueled by guys who previously hadn't exactly been scoring machines. Specifically, Trevor Thompson's 16 points last night came in just as handy as Brandon Fuss-Cheatham's 15 in 2005, as both players had been averaging just six points per contest beforehand.
It's a weird group of coincidences, but what really strikes me about it is the attitude of Thad Matta. In his career he has seen every permutation of a game that could possibly play out, and now he's seen it twice. His postgame demeanor was that of a kid who just hit a half court shout blindfolded two times in a row, and either he felt that he got away with something, or that maybe his team turned something of a corner. Again, not all wins mean anything. But in lean times, we must extrapolate.
We know how the 2004-2005 season went for Ohio State at the end. In 2016, on a team not devoid of talent, playing Iowa sandwiched between Tom Izzo and company gives ample opportunity for some madness.
Still, I have to be honest with myself: is there a mystical connection here? Nah, but one thing this random-ass Penn State game from 2005 teaches us is that the unexpected is still always a possibility. As the Kentucky win becomes a faded memory, lost in the weeds of 30-point losses against really good teams and five-point victories against really bad ones, it's important to remember why we like this dumb sport.
Put another way, on Jan. 26, 2005, I was about to turn 20 years old. I was living off campus (in a mouse-infested hovel) for the first time, making life decisions that seemed incredibly important but in retrospect probably weren't, and was beginning to navigate a world that was fresh and new and full of opportunities. Now, at 30, my life is a little different. I've got responsibilities and debt and grey hair and I don't sleep enough and there's this weird spot on my shoulder that's probably inoperable super cancer 2.0 or something.
But on Feb. 8, the day before my birthday, I'm going to go watch the Buckeyes play Northwestern. I'm going to enjoy the game with my amazing and generous girlfriend, eat some hot dogs, think about Matt Sylvester, and savor the statistically improbable yet still technically possible scenario in which Ohio State totally clowns on Iowa and Michigan State to close out the season.
