Ohio State unabashedly stole its sixth win of the season Saturday night.
Giving up 24 unanswered points and still winning doesn't materialize too often. In fact, the last time that happened in a game between Big Ten teams Michigan State was celebrating last season's conference championship, and wow this column is off to a depressing start.
The Buckeyes' collective sphincter tightened harder than the noose it hung around its own neck against Virginia Tech, but fortunately constipation is far less deadly than asphyxiation. Ohio State prevailed in part because it held the ball ten minutes longer than Penn State did. That happened because the Nittany Lions are incapable of running the football in 2014.
Ohio State defeated a conspicuously one-dimensional team in State College - as it should - and forgive me for not getting extremely wound up over the two lousy calls that went in the Buckeyes' favor with three quarters still left to play: Over the past four games Ohio State's opponents are averaging only three penalties and have been flagged for holding just once.
Over THE past four games Ohio State's opponents have been flagged for holding just once.
Either the officials aren't paying attention or your eyes are lying and Joey Bosa, Adolphus Washington and Michael Bennett are pedestrian, easily-blockable linemen. Even the least penalized team in the nation has averaged more flags per game than those Buckeye opponents do. Ohio State was due a couple of breaks and they came at Penn State's expense. Football works that way sometimes all the time.
Call it the law of averages, which also comes into play with the Buckeyes getting blanked for an entire half of football at Penn State while clenching hard enough for you to feel it through your television screen. The last time that happened was 2005, still Ohio State's most recent loss in the state of Pennsylvania.
That team had Troy Smith, Santonio Holmes, Ted Ginn and Antonio Pittman - yet still found a way to score zero points for 30 minutes. That time they lost. Go ahead and rattle off all the weapons this year's team has at its disposal. Zero second half points. This time they won. The real thievery on Saturday was and is still obscured by all the whining over the 1st quarter officiating.
Evan Spencer doing exactly what keeps him on the field.
Ohio State had scored in both the 3rd and 4th quarters of every game in Happy Valley since 2005. They've been on both sides of a 24-point run over the past 10 months. You can say they're frustrating; you can't say they're not interesting.
Speaking of the past, there's this knee-jerk tendency among Buckeye fans to immediately make 2002 comparisons every time Ohio State puckers and wins a close game. We should probably stop that, as that team was consciously designed to grind and smother its way to victories. This one is both engineered and equipped to score quickly and often, so when it fails to do so it's cause for concern.
We expected to see Tresselball in 2002. When we see Ohio State winning with defense, field position and no points in 2014 it categorically means Urban Meyer's offense isn't working as it's supposed to.
Which means Saturday's win - in that exhilarating, illuminated and overwhelming home field advantage Penn State has - was different. This was theft by way of scheme, officiating, history, mojo, karma and pretty much any other variable you want to insert here. Imagine the Soviets getting a late equalizer against Team USA in Lake Placid and winning in overtime. That would have made as much sense as Ohio State prevailing Saturday in State College did.
You don't have to venture back to 2005 to find a pattern of what happens when the Buckeyes face a formidable defense; you only have to go back to last month. It gets a little too interesting, and oh hi Michigan State next weekend. The Buckeyes piled up 273 rushing yards against the Spartans last season (they had been allowing only 86 per game) and scored those 24 unanswered points, but that was with a different quarterback, running back and offensive line.
They still lost. That time it was Ohio State who fell victim to a heist. It goes both ways.
And hey, it's okay for us to look ahead to Michigan State next week, especially coming off of the larceny from last weekend. There's this knee-jerk tendency among Buckeye fans to avoid looking ahead because we can't afford to overlook Illinois. It's okay for us to overlook a team that's allowing 37 (!) points a game to FBS opponents in a slate that includes powerhouses like Western Kentucky, Texas State and Purdue.
When Ohio State wins with defense, field position and no points it means Meyer's offense isn't working as it's supposed to.
The team won't overlook Illinois because it's not allowed to. We get to play by different rules, where we can openly chatter about if the Buckeyes can avoid puckering for the third time this season - and in the game we've been looking forward to since they scored 24 unanswered and still lost. We get to criticize the officiating, which despite the rancor from State College has undeniably trended against Ohio State for most of this season.
And we get to wonder if Ohio State can put it all together, make a run at a return to the Big Ten title game and ultimately loot one of the four playoff spots this postseason.
It's a remote possibility, but it's still a possibility. And it wouldn't be the first time the Buckeyes stole this season.
