When Ohio State defensive end Tyquan Lewis woke up Saturday, it was the first day of his life he could legally purchase alcohol. Lewis is finally 21.
Blessed to see 21 years. Hope for many more. Thank you Lord
— Tyquan Lewis (@PrimeTime_Lewis) January 30, 2016
It wasn't long before Lewis sent that tweet, however, that he'd already been roasted by Ohio State Director of Player Personnel Mark Pantoni.
Happy Birthday shoutout to @PrimeTime_Lewis pic.twitter.com/OyIFPaKeh6
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 30, 2016
Pantoni's main job is to work the phones for Urban Meyer's staff to set up and orchestrate recruit visits for the top prospects in the country. When a player verbally commits to Ohio State, it isn't official until Pantoni releases a boom on Twitter. With National Signing Day the days away, Pantoni's days are likely spent chugging coffee to combat sleep deprivation.
Fear not — he still had time to roast Lewis, as he does most every player (and even some coaches) in the program.
We all have pictures we regret. Whether it be from our college days, during a family get together or when we were a #teen — most look back at photos with some sort of dismay when Mom brings them out of the memory box. It usually happens at your wedding, when your first child is born or another groundbreaking moment in your adult life.
Pantoni, however, shows no mercy. Here's a look at past photos from Pantoni's birthday shoutouts.
Happy Birthday shoutout to Buckeye strength coach @p_matusz pic.twitter.com/oPkvEt3iyU
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 28, 2016
Not even assistant strength coach Phil Matusz can avoid it. Here is defensive end Jalyn Holmes:
Happy Birthday shoutout to the cuh @JayHolmes_ pic.twitter.com/IVZK0CtUmp
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 25, 2016
Early enrollee and 2016 offensive line commit Michael Jordan:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @Madj1998 pic.twitter.com/8gMA5Rvzsz
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 25, 2016
Joe Thomas Barrett IV:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @JT_theQB4th pic.twitter.com/cdJJSWTFrL
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 23, 2016
It wasn't his birthday, but Torrance Gibson's preteen face still made it to the Internet:
@CoachZachSmith @vandrealp3 @quick_tg6 pic.twitter.com/2J5mbjdsL4
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 22, 2016
Kicker Sean Nuernberger:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @Sean4Heisman1 pic.twitter.com/GeF9FVTp2m
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 9, 2016
A likely homecoming dance pic for defensive lineman Dylan Thompson:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @BRONCODE59 pic.twitter.com/su25BW81bJ
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 8, 2016
Five-star defensive end and early enrollee Jonathan Cooper:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @JonathonCooper7 pic.twitter.com/yvMwyzoedy
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 8, 2016
Noah Brown had to sit out 2015 with an unfortunate injury, but don't think Pantoni feels any remorse:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @Nb_Eight0! Going to make big moves next season! pic.twitter.com/tzk6xSMjVZ
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 6, 2016
Defensive lineman Dre'Mont Jones:
Happy Birthday shoutout to future Beast DL @TheOfficial_80 pic.twitter.com/9F7wXVGZIA
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) January 6, 2016
Jashon Cornell:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @JayRock_9 pic.twitter.com/MS086cJ57L
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) December 30, 2015
Former longsnapper/future doctor Bryce Haynes:
Happy Birthday shoutout to long snapping specialist/5 star athlete Bryce Haynes pic.twitter.com/X8aInJtkbJ
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) December 29, 2015
Jerome Baker, looking suave:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @Lastname_Baker pic.twitter.com/YB8jgXoNru
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) December 25, 2015
Vonn. Bell. Academy.
Happy Birthday shoutout to @TheVonnBell7 #BIA pic.twitter.com/UKXKJkz82t
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) December 12, 2015
Linebacker Camren Williams had some baller shades back in the day.
Happy Birthday shoutout to @Camren___ pic.twitter.com/nSyr4BfPdb
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) December 2, 2015
Ohio State legend Braxton Miller:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @BraxtonMiller5 pic.twitter.com/PHmDEyuQvp
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) November 30, 2015
Try not to laugh at Adolphus Washington and Brady Taylor. Just try.
Happy Birthday shoutouts to @buckeye11_DD & @beTaylor79 pic.twitter.com/jLVDYFExp2
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) November 24, 2015
Raekwon McMillan hasn't changed much.
Happy Birthday shoutout to @Kwon_daTRUTH pic.twitter.com/GnNLgB4PQu
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) November 17, 2015
Damon Webb, Fro Master.
Happy Birthday shoutout to @DameWebb pic.twitter.com/oTi7XR2WAP
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) November 12, 2015
Pantoni even threw a #TBT at Justin Hilliard, Noah Brown and Stephen Collier a few days before Halloween:
#tbt Halloween edition pic.twitter.com/fDlXimpy8x
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) October 29, 2015
This man could start on the offensive line next season:
Happy Birthday shoutout to Big Meech @Meech_Dream14 pic.twitter.com/9ooyimukx8
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) October 23, 2015
Jerry Emig, Ohio State Sports Information Director. (This is the best one, btw)
Happy Birthday Shoutout to 'the man' Jerry Emig! pic.twitter.com/qvb6iBx2wL
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) October 20, 2015
Darron Lee:
Happy 21st birthday to @DLeeMG8 pic.twitter.com/1j7SZx5pUd
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) October 18, 2015
Eric Glover-Williams is a noted banana enthusiast:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @LastKing_Glover pic.twitter.com/GS97VOWFau
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) October 18, 2015
James Clark and Billy Price:
Happy Birthday shoutouts to @Jamesclark_94 and @b_price54 pic.twitter.com/3nzYpIIfYR
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) October 11, 2015
Dante Booker — better shades than Cam Williams?
Happy Birthday shoutout to @book_dont_lie pic.twitter.com/JNVrmO4Ajx
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) October 2, 2015
What about Eli Apple's sunglasses?
Happy Birthday shoutout to @EliApple13 pic.twitter.com/0SgnIfH9jM
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) August 9, 2015
K.J. Hill apparently likes zebra accessories.
Happy Birthday Shoutout to @KayJayHill #Zone6 pic.twitter.com/8p3WCIf7Ay
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) September 15, 2015
Terry McLaurin and Chris Worley:
Happy Birthday shoutouts to @TheTerry_25 and Chris Worley pic.twitter.com/IxjOzVybKU
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) September 15, 2015
Branden Bowen (who is 6-foot-7 now):
Happy Birthday shoutout to @BrandenBowen #slobs pic.twitter.com/yOrSWOkTpP
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) September 12, 2015
Damon Arnette:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @da_arnette pic.twitter.com/jyPSnDo8ky
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) September 2, 2015
Linebacker Craig Fada:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @cfada29 pic.twitter.com/U8P9oveVnL
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) August 29, 2015
Redshirt freshman tight end A.J. Alexander:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @Aramis_Javohn pic.twitter.com/lOaD7eEqqM
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) August 28, 2015
Running back Mike Weber:
Happy Birthday Shoutout to @mikeweber25 pic.twitter.com/scTdflbDcS
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) August 25, 2015
Wide receiver Alex Stump:
Happy Birthday Shoutout to @alex_stump1 pic.twitter.com/Vb5iVVeCWJ
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) August 19, 2015
Everybody loves a good sombrero:
Happy Birthday shoutout to Curtis Samuel pic.twitter.com/9OQOFN4Fip
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) August 11, 2015
And last but not least, Ohio State defensive coordinator and linebackers coach Luke Fickell:
Happy Birthday shoutout to @CoachFick pic.twitter.com/Gvz0EdqVjT
— Mark Pantoni (@markpantoni) August 18, 2015
There are loads more (and assuredly more to come) in the future, as Pantoni's savage ways aren't likely to end anytime soon.
Where does he get the photos? How does he do it? No one knows for sure.
Maybe that's the point.