Ohio State was 4-0 and I was wearing shorts in the last week of September, so I made an executive decision yesterday to not let the Browns wreck my Sunday.
I tried. Oh, I tried.. and then Josh McCown — and Charles Woodson; why always Charles Woodson? — went to work with an ice pick to my sanity. At least it didn't end with me in jail with felony charges to my head.
What's the deal with the Browns, folks? They're as palatable as a piping cup of sewage. If anybody with the last name "McCown" starts for Cleveland next week then everyone involved in that decision should be fired.
HERE COME THE HOOSIERS! Good news, y'all: Mediocre MAC teams are off the menu! Bad news: Indiana is on deck.
But lo! These aren't your dad's Hoosiers! Hell, they might not even be your Grandpa's either.
Indiana is 4-0, and it's been awhile since an undefeated Indiana met an undefeated Ohio State:
At the urging of @girt55, I channeled my inner Jack Park. Last time Ohio State and Indiana were undefeated when they played was 1954...
— Lori Schmidt (@LoriSchmidt) September 27, 2015
Here are all the years Ohio State and Indiana football have been undefeated while playing: 1930, 1932, 1934, 1942, 1952, 1953 and 1954...
— Lori Schmidt (@LoriSchmidt) September 27, 2015
Truth be told, Indiana has played Urban Meyer's Ohio State about as well as any other Big Ten team. Hopefully this one doesn't come down to the Bucks needing to recover an onside kick to prevent an historic Indiana upset (redundant, I know).
WOULD YOU BET THE RENT ON IT THOUGH? Ohio State fans will expect a laugher next Saturday in the comfy confines of Horseshoe West. The Buckeyes haven't covered the last three games against inferior competition, however.
Ohio State opens up a 19.5-point favorite at Indiana next weekend.
— Tim Shoemaker (@TimShoemaker) September 27, 2015
(Somebody sprinkle a Schedule-II narcotic on the ground as bait for the risen corpse of President Warren G. Harding. We need to crack this code.)
FEED ZEKE? Urban Meyer's philosophy is to get his playmakers the ball. Ezekiel Elliott is one of Urban Meyer's best playmakers. Yet Ezekiel Elliott is not being fed to the satisfaction of some.
From Cleveland.com:
Because in Ohio State's 38-12 win over Western Michigan on Saturday, Elliott -- Ohio State's preseason Heisman Trophy favorite -- carried the ball only 16 times.
That's just not enough.
Last week that gripe was premature. It just seemed like Elliott wasn't involved enough in the offense because Ohio State was running him laterally and the offensive line and receivers were struggling with blocking. It looked worse than it actually was.
Against the Broncos, it was inexcusable.
I respectfully disagree. Running back is a brutal position, and there's no need to bludgeon Western Michigan with a Lamborghini — especially when the street almanac is calling for a frosty winter.
To me, Urban Meyer's/Tim Beck's/Ed Warinner's playcalling is better explained when viewed through the lens of "dudes trying to figure out how to use what they got."
Ezekiel Elliott is a warhorse that will be called upon when the chips are down. Players/coaches/fans can say what they want... the chips were never even on the table against Western Michigan.
BOSS, IF TRUE. A lot of people talk shit about Michigan. Others are like Derrick:
Had a job recruiter wanting me to apply and interview at a job in the state up north. This was my reply. #GoBucks pic.twitter.com/nzCf0W7Bjr
— Derrick Martin (@DboMart) September 24, 2015
I'd live in Michigan, but only a bit. You can rent a warehouse for like $100 a month in Detroit, and I would live a life as a blogger/crime lord (probably without the crime lord part because I'm retired now). There's a lot to be said about living in an abandoned warehouse.
HARBAUGH! I've watched every Michigan football game this year, and folks: Michigan isn't bad. I wasn't a believer until Saturday, but now I am. The Game is going to be an all-time banger.
From SportingNews.com:
"Back" isn't what you think it means. Michigan isn't back as in a bona fide College Football Playoff contender yet. That's the easy knee-jerk reaction after watching the Wolverines throttle No. 22 BYU 31-0 on Saturday.
The Wolverines, however, gave the Big Ten something else to think about other than the top two teams in the country.
Michigan is 3-1 and outscored its last three opponents 91-14 after a season-opening loss to Utah. The Wolverines are improving each week under first-year coach Jim Harbaugh, and they should get back in the AP Top 25 for the first time since 2013.
*hits the 'Sim to Michigan State' button*
THOSE WMDs. A graphic guide to cemetery symbolism... How to defend a Hail Mary... The Sackler-Sinaloa Connection... Warren Buffet didn't get rich giving money away... Hail to the Victor.
