NFL Draft Day 2 Skull Session: Reflecting Upon the Buckeyes' Historic Draft Night, Jets Wanted Darron Lee for Speed, and Chargers Used Stealth to Draft Joey Bosa

By D.J. Byrnes on April 29, 2016 at 4:59 am
Ezekiel Elliott is charged for the April 29th 2016 Skull Session.
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ICYMI:

Ezekiel Elliott turned heads by showing up to the 2016 NFL Draft in a crop top, which is a shame because his barber won the night earlier that day:

That's amazing craftsmanship, but I may be biased because my hairline abandoned me at 25 like I was the product of a drug-fueled tryst between two #teens.

The coldest move of the night went to Darron Lee, who (unintentionally, I assume) left his former overlord hanging on a congratulatory high five:

Good to know despite Urban Meyer's indomitable will he looks as goofy as anyone else left hanging.

As for the Buckeye that landed in the best spot, it's hard to argue against Ezekiel Elliott landing in Dallas. The good news for us Dallas haters is Tony Romo still quarterbacks the Cowboys:

Ohio State's success last night will help in recruiting, but it will also help fuel players still in the fold:

Those drafted last night would be wise to remember the work is just beginning.

Two years ago I celebrated the Browns drafting Johnny Manziel. I'm still here, but now Johnny Manziel is pre-gaming Justin Bieber concerts in Columbus:

Life comes at you fast. Never forget that.

This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:

P.S. — I am not dead. Perhaps more importantly, I liked the Browns draft? Maybe I am dead. Let's continue and find out.

 L-E-E! LEE! LEE! LEE! Many draft soothsayers rated Darron Lee as Ohio State's top prospect not named "Ezekiel Elliott" or "Joey Bosa." The funny thing about the draft is nobody knows shit.

Lee "fell" to the New York Jets at No. 20, but the organization seems ecstatic about their pick.

From nypost.com:

“We’re quite excited about what he brings to the organization in terms of his ability as a player, but we also like him from a character standpoint, too, in terms of the work we did on him,” Jets general manager Mike Maccagnan said.

[...]

The knock on Lee is that he is weak against the run because he is small at 6-foot-1, 232 pounds. Jets coach Todd Bowles said he is not concerned about Lee’s run-stopping, though, and is comfortable with him at his current weight. Bowles said initially Lee would back up Erin Henderson and come in against the pass, but the Jets believe he will eventually play on every down.

“He can play as a nickel [linebacker] right now,” Bowles said. “He can grow into a three-down backer as he goes forward. He’s going to make us a lot faster and we can do a lot of things with him. He’s a very good pressure guy, he’s a very good cover guy and he runs sideline to sideline.”

There are perils to being a young millionaire in a big city, but the benefit is the city lends itself to endorsement deals. Eli Apple also landed in NYC, but to me Lee has the spirit and personality needed to dominate that market.

If Apple and Lee ball out, they'll do more for Big Ten advertising in New York than Rutgers has done since 2014. (I typed that like Jim Delany isn't relaxing in a vault of coins like Scrooge McDuck.)

 CHARGERS DUPE THE LEAGUE, DRAFT A BEAR. Used dart boards are worth more than mock drafts, and yet the football–industrial complex will never stop producing them. Yet, I'm no erudite, and I'm no stranger to clicking on a mock draft while waiting on my turn to die at a stop light. 

I didn't cross one mock draft that put Joey Bosa in San Diego, a city which Bosa's spirit poetically aligns. I didn't see it coming until Cyborg Adam Schefter dropped this humblebrag-ass, wink-wink tweet before the Chargers picked:

As hard as it may to believe given the honor coursing through the fibers of the NFL, It turns out deception was all part of the Chargers' plans to wrangle the Big Bear.

From cbssports.com:

The Chargers had rarely been connected to Bosa in the pre-draft process, with most draftniks and mock drafts penciling in DeForest Buckner, Laremy Tunsil, or Jalen Ramsey in this spot. The fit is a bit strange here, as San Diego have mostly operated out of a 3-4 front and Bosa seems like a prototypical 4-3 end. However, he should be able to defend both the run and the pass as a 3-4 outside linebacker. He did some work standing up as a rusher at OSU, even operating over the center when doing so on occasion.

His best asset may in fact be his versatility, which should help him transition to playing in a 3-4. Because of his body type, his excellent technique, and his (excuse the cliche, please) football intelligence, he can play pretty much anywhere on the defensive line, and should be the type of player than can kick inside to tackle on passing downs, allowing the Chargers to get more rushmen on the field in those situations.

Props to anyone that can live in San Diego with millions of dollars in their bank account and wake up with a desire to work hard. It's patriots like that that built this country, but it also speaks to why the Chargers have never won a Super Bowl.

 OHIO STATE'S ATHLETIC CZAR AGAINST NCAA CZAR. The NCAA Board of Directors reversed a decision to ban satellite camps on Thursday. Given the snafu, is it time to mainline NCAA decision-making, perhaps with an all-powerful commissioner?

Gene Smith disagrees with that notion.

From espn.com:

Todd Berry, the new executive director of the American Football Coaches Association, wonders whether a sole commissioner could handle so many schools, and so much power. Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith notes that the commissioner would need a national office with staff and expenses. It would be "building a bureaucracy," Smith said, a common critique of the NCAA model.

Smith also doubts whether a commissioner could be truly independent unless that person's salary was funded from an outside source.

"Think about the lobbying that individual person will get from East Coast to West Coast, North to South," Smith added. "If you had a commissioner and that person was czar, I can't even begin to think about how they would even operate.

"It would be crazy. Who would want that job?"

I want that job, Gene. I've never made a "résumé," but I do have an army of goons in the streets. Give me $75K a year and full benefits and I won't set myself on fire to provoke them.

 ANNIE APPLE GOES NATIONAL. The New York Giants selected Eli Apple with the No. 10 pick last night. I'm a big Apple fan, but it may have been wiser to pick his mom; her cooking skills are better, and she's at the top of the Sports Moms Power Rankings.

From deadspin.com:

There are many different qualities one looks for in a Sports Mom. She should be funny. She should be unabashedly pro-son. She should temper her homerism with stern words of rebuke or instruction when her son is not performing to the levels she knows he can achieve. She should be media-savvy, but not so enamored with her visibility that she’s afraid of dropping true and uncomfortable nuggets of wisdom. And, she should know the proper time and place to embarrass her son: which, generally speaking, is always and everywhere.

Annie Apple combines all of these traits in one, compact frame that would be a lock for the No. 1 spot in a Sports Mom draft. The best way to consume Annie’s brand of Sports Momming is on Twitter, via @SurvinAmerica. There, she kicks her legitimately funny brand of humor, and shows off an impressive command of au courant pop culture references and memes. (As you’ll see, she expertly dropped multiple allusions to Birdman’s instantly iconic Breakfast Club appearance just days after it got big.)

Some folks don't care for Mrs. Apple's outspokenness, but those people forget how easy it is to go through life without speaking your mind. Annie was one of the most important voices in the family unit during Eli's time in Columbus, and she wouldn't have earned that position by staying in the shadows.

I hope Eli turning pro doesn't quiet her social media presence. She's a unique voice in Buckeye lore, and I hope she keeps her shop open.

 SOMEBODY IS FOUL FOR THIS ONE. Moments before the 2016 NFL Draft kicked off, Laremy Tunsil's Twitter account posted a video of Tunsil smoking weed out of a gas mask bong.

It was a move that reeked of a hacker with sublime timing, and that was before incriminating DMs (that Tunsil later admitted were real before being ushered off stage by Ole Miss PR) in which he repeatedly hit up an assistant Ole Miss AD for money.


From clarionledger.com:

CHICAGO — An anonymous hacker used the night of the NFL draft to try to take down Laremy Tunsil and the Ole Miss football program.

Moments before the draft began a video of Tunsil smoking out of a bong fashioned out of a gas mask was posted onto his Twitter account. When it had done its damage, moving Tunsil out of the top 10 entirely and to the Miami Dolphins on No. 13, the hacker started on Tunsil’s Instagram account.

There they posted screenshots of alleged text messages between Tunsil and John Miller, assistant athletic director for football operations, in which Tunsil asks for money to pay rent and also for his mother's $305 electric and water bill. In reference to the former, Miller makes a reference to "Barney." Barner Farrar is Ole Miss' assistant athletic director for high school and junior colleges.

Perhaps Tunsil, the man who spilled blood and sweat to earn entry to the NFL, decided to tank his stock minutes before the draft by posting that video under his own volition. Maybe that's what happened.

But the more likely explanation is Tunsil, who got sued by his stepfather on Monday, was the victim of a cybercrime.

It's hard for me to envision my life deteriorating to the point my only move was to try to tear down a 21-year-old draft prospect with allegations of "he smoked weed" and "he took money from someone giving it to him."

I refuse to give these malicious actors the pleasure. I refuse to get angry about an also-ran SEC team throwing cash at players to achieve mid-table status.

Please wake me when Ole Miss players are rolling around the grove cloaked in ski masks and mugging coddled Ole Miss fans. And when you do, be sure to bring a ski mask.

 THOSE WMDs. Missing money, an attack, and slow healing for a charity's leader... The (real) scientific method... Afterlife of forgotten Heisman winners... North Dakota fracking country the only part of America that cares about Game of Thrones... The shelter that gives wine to alcoholics... Death Star II fire pit... Does hardware even matter anymore?

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