Skull Session: 2017 Playoff Odds, Why Bucks Win Over Blue Mattered, and Butch Jones At It Again

By D.J. Byrnes on May 31, 2017 at 4:59 am
The Best Damn Band in the Land tips its cap for the May 31st 2017 Skull Session
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Today's Skull Session is dedicated to The Blind Assassin, the best novel I've read this year. If I ever write something a third as good, I'm retiring from sports to pursue a Patreon as a novelist.

Personal news: I signed another one-year contract with Eleven Warriors Worldwide LLC on Tuesday. I am celebrating by taking a week off next week to live as a hermit in the wilderness of Western Canada. If I return, you will be stuck with me through at least the 2017 local team campaign. Thank you.

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Moll.

 START THE PLAYOFFS NOW, THEN. The regular season is a grand time. Few things in life can beat a fall Saturday in Columbus cracking cold ones with the boys in a parking lot before the local team butchers a sacrificial school from a state that's not ready to die over this shit like Ohio.

But if we had to skip it to ensure no injuries to start the playoffs on Aug. 31, it's a decision I would make if the field looks like betting odds say it will.

From sbnation.com:

Among the relevant 9.5 teams, Oklahoma and USC are given better odds of cracking 10 wins than Washington or Florida State is (the Huskies also have a weaker schedule, meaning 11-1 records by all four would likely mean UW ranking last in this group), and the Sooners have a slight odds edge (with no SOS worries for OU, thanks to Ohio State on the schedule, a likely improving Big 12, and a potential 13th game), with the Trojans slightly ahead of the Noles.

That'd mean your Playoff would be:

No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 USC, Sugar Bowl
No. 2 Ohio State vs. No. 3 Oklahoma reeeematch, Rose Bowl

Don't let Oklahoma take a loss in September and January to Ohio State. If that happens, Oklahoma should be forced to donate 20% of its tax revenue to Ohio during the next fiscal year. Sooner fans would also be banned from trashing the Buckeyes until at least 2035.

What I like most about this bracket, though, is it clears the way to watch Alabama scrubbing Southern California again as well as a Nick Saban–Urban Meyer title fight. America deserves that fight. 

 THE SPOT WAS GOOD, TOO. So, remember that big double overtime win over that clown rodeo up north? Good times.

And what's great about following a century-old blood feud between two institutions of higher learning is savoring the different flavors of victory for the next 364 days.

Despite the loss to Clemson, we could be dealing with a much darker timeline. 

From footballscoop.com:

Michigan would have (most likely) beaten Wisconsin in the following week’s Big Ten Championship and advanced to face Clemson in the Fiesta Bowl. Maybe they blow past the Tigers and beat Alabama for the national title. Maybe they lose to Clemson worse than Ohio State did. Neither outcome is really the point, because, at this stage in Jim Harbaugh’s tenure in Ann Arbor, simply beating Ohio State, winning a Big Ten title and advancing to the College Football Playoff would have been a victory in and of itself. It would have been tangible proof that Harbaugh’s madness has a method to it, that all the noise he’s produced culminates into a melody.

Harbaugh would have put any pointed Brady Hoke comparisons to bed for good. (As it stands, Harbaugh is 20-6 through two seasons, 0-2 against Ohio State with one top-10 finish and a New Year’s Six bowl loss. Hoke was 19-7 with a win over [a significantly down] Ohio State, a top-10 finish and a New Year’s Six bowl win.)

But Michigan didn’t beat Ohio State, and cue the narrative.

But Michigan didn't beat Ohio State.

Cue the damn fight song and toss me a Loko. I'm not doing any work for the rest of the day (after I type the rest of this article).

 STAY TIPPIN' BUTCH. Few things better in the #business world than when your enemies fill powerful positions with incompetent men.

For example, many Tennessee Volunteers thought their blasphemous local team was back when they hired Butch Jones. Instead, he went 30-21 overall and 14-18 in the SEC in his first four years.

Apparently, it's the first part of winning a championship.

My unsolicited advice to ol' Butchie: Win a divisional title before talking about national championships. Him talking championships is like me writing a financial advice column for millionaires.

 CAN'T WIN THEM ALL. Ohio State is fortunate to produce articulate and interesting football players that go into visible media careers after hanging up their cleats. 

Unfortunately, a local alumnus can't fill every media position. Which, by extension, leaves room for notorious undesirables like Desmond Howard, who re-upped with ESPN yesterday.

From espnmediazone.com:

ESPN has secured Desmond Howard – a longtime voice on College GameDay Built by The Home Depot – to a multiyear agreement to remain with the network. Howard has been a part of the seven-time Emmy-Award winning College GameDay – college football’s longest-running and most-celebrated Saturday morning pregame show – since joining ESPN in 2005. He is also a staple on ESPN’s daily, weekday news and information show – College Football Live, in addition to calling select mid-week games during the season. Howard will continue to play a large part on ESPN’s College Football Playoff programming.

“I am both excited and reflective as I embark upon my 13th season with ESPN,” said Howard. “When I transitioned from playing the game to talking about it for a living, I could not have landed on a better team than College GameDay, where I’ve been fortunate to learn from and grow with some of the very best in this industry.

All this means to me is he'll have another front row seat at Michigan taking a loss to end its regular season.

 TOUCHDOWN SEASON ALMOST OPEN. Big Ten coordinators thinking about defending Demario McCall, the greatest footballer in Ohio State history, should wake up at night covered in cold sweat like an alcoholic going through withdrawals.

From Demario McCall's Instagram:

[100 G.O.A.T. Emojis]

How do you defend a man with that much swagger? The simple answer is you can't.

If any of us tried to wear that outfit, we'd be rightfully clowned until our families publicly repudiated us.

Just give him the damn ball 30 times a game this fall, please.

 THOSE WMDs. 24 best bars in America... What life is like in prison for white collar criminals... On a sailor's life at sea... Millions of dollars of nuts are disappearing in California... Rolling with the lords of the craps table... Denis Johnson's ecstatic American voice.

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