Gameday Skull Session: Get Dumped Then, Penn State

It's no real secret that the Nittany Lions usually play Ohio State close than any team in the Big Ten, but I still try not to get too worked up about it.

I mean, as close as these games often are, Penn State has only won this matchup once in the last decade and it was because of a fluke blocked field goal and at the end of the season the College Football Playoff Committee decided Ohio State was "unequivocally better" anyway.

The reality is, playing Penn State usually requires a little bit of suspension of disbelief. It's like playing a video game you know you're going to win or watching Star Wars when you know damn well Luke's going to destroy the Death Star in the nick of time again. The suspense is undeniably there, but the threat isn't.

Unfortunately, I can't even do that this year because Penn State is the hottest of messes. The Nittany Lions are coming off of two losses, but not the motivating kind. No, they've been the kind of losses where your team looks like complete dogshit and you aren't sure if you even want to watch the next game. They managed just 2.1 yards per carry on offense while giving up 360 yards on the ground to Illinois, then lost in overtime because they couldn't score a two-point conversion on SEVEN TRIES. That kind of bad. Think 2011 Ohio State but without much upside about the future, either.

And then there's James Franklin, who is so distracted by USC coaching rumors that he referred to Ohio State as "Illinois" multiple times in a press conference and mentioned playing in "The Big House" on Saturday night, all while ironically trying to prove how locked in he was on the game at hand. But don't worry, he supposedly made it all better with a long-ass response that still answered no questions and still included phrases like "there's a lot of moving parts."

Meanwhile, Ohio State is looking like a damn death machine performing at its absolute best. The Buckeyes have by far the best offense in college football by pretty much every metric you can find, a scoring defense that's up to No. 18 in the country, and an average margin of victory of almost 47 points the past two games.

And it's not like Ohio State is going to be sleepwalking into this one. The Buckeyes are playing like they've got something to prove, have had this game circled all year, are hosting a billion recruits and are rolling out their fresh new Red October unis in a Halloween "Scarlet Out" atmosphere that looks almost surreal.

SCARLET.

THE.

SHOE. #GoBucks pic.twitter.com/zi1LRUo9tZ

— Ohio State Football (@OhioStateFB) October 30, 2021

Even at Penn State's best, Ohio State annihilates them in this game. Toss in all the other stuff and the fact that the Buckeyes seem to earnestly believe this is a big game, and this is going to be unsafe for work. Put the kids to bed so they don't have to witness this; it's going to be ugly.

Side note: I didn't even have to do any sort of creative photoshop for today's Skull Session header because it turns out James Franklin literally showed his ass at a press conference one time, and there's no artificial reality I can create that's more hilarious than that.

Word of the Day: Annihilate.

 TODAY'S MENU. I'm not going to lie to you and say today is the best slate of college football this season, but there's certainly going to be quite a bit to hold you over until the main course.

 PERFECTION. Y'all remember that one time J.T. Barrett went full god mode down the stretch against Penn State? Cause I was in the stadium, and I'm not sure I'll ever forget.

16 straight for 16 #OTD in 2017, @JT_theQB4th was flawless down the stretch in rallying @OhioStateFB past No. 2 Penn State.

Here's every one of the program-record consecutive completions.

cc: @YoungKing_JD5 & @MarcusBaugh85 pic.twitter.com/LJLuzEcSiQ

— Ohio State on BTN (@OhioStateOnBTN) October 28, 2021

As cool as this was, I think it would be much cooler if C.J. Stroud would just *start* the game 16-for-16 and remove all doubt right off the bat. Cool? Cool.

By the way, if y'all haven't watched the director's cut of this game in a while, you've got some time to kill before game time.

 THE CORRECT PICKS. Guaranteed 5-0. Parlay it, pay your rent. Let's go.

• Texas +2.5 against Baylor. Texas is extremely undervalued in this game after two losses to current top-15 teams in games that they frankly should have won. I think the Longhorns are the better team in this matchup and I'll gladly take them as underdogs.
• Michigan vs. Michigan State under 50.5. Neither of these teams has any interest in scoring 25+ points, much less both of them. Y'all know this. This one is candy.
• Michigan -4 against Michigan State. I don't think either one of these teams is terribly good, but I think Michigan is noticeably the least bad, specifically on offense. I think the Wolverines should actually be favored by more like 7 points, so I'll gladly take 4.
• North Carolina +3.5 against Notre Dame. I think Notre Dame is significantly worse than its record and I think North Carolina is significantly better than its record. I think the Heels might actually be the better team in this matchup and the public riding heavy with Notre Dame only convinces me even more.
• Ohio State -18.5 against Penn State. Look, I haven't been shy about this the past few weeks, so y'all shouldn't need an explanation here. I think Ohio State is going to absolutely throttle every team in faces the rest of the regular season, and that starts tonight with Penn State. The Buckeyes are going to roll in their Red October unis.

 SONG OF THE DAY. "All Day" by Kanye West.

 NOT STICKING TO SPORTS. A Texas nurse is sentenced to death for fatally injecting four heart patients with air... Reality TVs absurd new extreme... Walmart room sprays were causing deadly infections... Long live forever renting... I joined a cult believing I'd be closer to God, but then I was castrated... The United States' most haunted hotel... Why we love pumpkin spice, according to science...